Which was the best decade of your life?

[Livenlearn]

I am 35 yo and just been thinking about my 20s, I moved countries, got married, changed jobs, made new friends, did lots of partying until 30 and didn't wanted any Kids. Then suddenly at 30, all my priorities changed and had 2 DC in the last 5 years and most of my 30s so far have been about working and looking after DC.
I sometimes regret not having them sooner but then I feel we are in much better state now financially to give a good life to our DC but we traded off the time with them. DH is early 40s.
Half of my 20s, was spent in lots of stress caring for my terminally I'll mum and then her passing away left me devastated. I tried to work hard and at the same time enjoy my life for the remaining years in late 20s. Now, in 30s, days are passing by in flash looking after 2 very young DC with no help from family but DH is supportive. Most days I am sleeping only 4-5 hours with newborn and worry about my huge weight gain during pregnancy. I think my next 5 years would be spent on running after DCs. I want to go on holidays but DH doesn't want to and I sometimes worry about having regrets in future of not doing things in my 30s. I wanted to travel but never had enough money and then my DH is so boring that he doesn't want to go anywhere.
Just looking for some hopeful experiences from people about what decade of their life was the best and when they tried new things and did things they always wanted to do. I hope to use my 40s to visit more places in the world.

Hoping to hear some positive stories x

My twenties were mixed as my thirties have been too! I’m approaching 40 this year.
In my twenties I was settled, owned a house with my fiance at 23, married at 24, travelled a little and had two babies at 28&29, however then my husband was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease when my first was 6 months old. Was a really difficult time, as well as a birth that nearly ended in the loss of life for me and baby.
thirties have been parenting, moving house, becoming a landlord, holidays, job changes and career progression and divorce.
I think there are hard times and good times in whatever decade you are in. Wish I was as slim/fit as my mid to late twenties though!

My child-free thirties were pretty great. I am in my 40s now and no complaints either. You can do things at any age, really. I completely changed my life in my late 30s - new career, periods of living abroad, second degree, developing new skills. I started a creative business in my 40s and I still have a lot of interests and opportunities I want to explore in the latter half of my life. My aunt just sold her city flat and bought a farm in her 50s...
20s was probably the worst decade for me so far and, I think, this is true for most people.

Each decade is different but I am hopeful about the next one -- the last one has been very good as got through the menopause which makes me feel much better , and children left home which is one less responsibility, and paid off the house

so next is retiring , doing more fun things , more time for me really

Think the 30s and 40s are harder than now

That's not terribly helpful I guess ?

But it's when you achieve things to be proud of - raising good children , maybes a job that means something or makes the world a little better

My 40s. I got divorced, found a new career, ran a half marathon, discovered feminism, learnt to crochet & started learning Italian, & bought a flat, not necessarily in that order.

Wow, that sounds incredible! Looking forward to my 40s really

My thirties....I had both my kids by then and was much more settled.

_40s best for me . 2 kids grown, one at school and doing 50/50 with his dad.

Far less worried about what others thought of me .

Thanks for sharing your experience.
It must be a great feeling to have paid off mortgage, have adult independent children and be able to retire. Wish you all the best for your retirement x

My early 20s. I had no health issues, no real concept of my own mortality, I was fearless and thought I was powerfully sexy (cringe). Now I’m mid 40s, tons of complex health issues and have a rare disease that makes me anxious all the time as one of the consequences is sudden acute life threatening deterioration. It’s not fun.

I love my dc and all the things I’ve done in between but I do really miss being in that headspace of not giving a fuck. Just drinking too much, doing stupid things and the freedom to think life was ahead of me.

If you have good or reasonably good health you have the ability to make choices and choices can be amazing.

My 30s were amazing - lost loads of weight, had my much longed for family and only worked p/t! In my 50s now and life is tougher - but then the world has changed!

I’m in a very similar position to you. Life has changed so dramatically in such a short space of time! I’ve heard so many people say that their 40s was their best decade. I know the rest of my 30s will be exhausting with young DC’s so I’m hoping there’s still lots of great times to come! More travelling again too, as DC get older.

20s

Travelled, good jobs with high disposable income that allowed us (me, friends, then boyfriend, fiancé) to do basically whatever we wanted, ate out pretty much always, had cleaners, played on sports teams and had so so much energy doing so. All you had to do was go to work, and that was it! Come home, go out, every night. Weekends just do whatever you want. And with energy. All. The. Time. Love love loved it!

Not exactly a decade but 28-36. I had left an abusive relationship, I was providing for my amazing kids, having a great time with friends and met the love of my life.

It started to go wrong due to poor health and bereavements.

It's great to hear everyone's experiences.
Its quite interesting to see how we summarise tens of years of our lives in a few highlights.

@Pigeonqueen hope things get easier for you and you are able to do the things you wanted. Sending you hugs x

I've had five and so far, they've all been shite.

@Plastictrees it's bit reassuring to see others are going to something similar. Hope you can travel and get to see all the places you ever wanted soon.

I'd find it hard to choose a best decade in terms of 20s or 30s (41 now). Early 20s were amazing, lived abroad and travelled a lot, loads of culture and new experiences, gained a lot of independence.
But later 20s were a bit dull in comparison. I longed to meet someone, for myself but also friends were all settling down. I was restless and not that happy.
Late 20s met now DH and the next decade was great, falling in love, buying a lovely flat and having first baby at 33 and second at 36, making a big move to the sea.
Don't know about 40s - so far there has been a lot of happiness with my little family unit, but also sadness about ill health of parents/in-laws, feels like time is going so fast...

Each decade so far has had highlights and low points. In my 20’s I was single, worked at a place with lots of similar aged people. We had a great social life. Then met my now DH and we married in my late 20’s - we had more disposable income and visited some fabulous places but at times the relationship had its challenges. Got married and bought a house. We had nice cars and a good lifestyle.

In my 30’s I had 2 children. Finances were tough although I enjoyed maternity leave and time spent with my children. However we had a lot of stress. I decided on a complete career change and went back to uni for 3 years. Money was very tight and I now regret all the hours I sacrificed away from my children. We also had some financial setbacks and massive challenges.

in my 40’s I was in a new career and building back up again. However DH was made redundant, went self employed which was a financial disaster and we had several bereavements. The end of my 40’s was pretty awful from a financial point of view, complete burn out career wise, made some very bad choices, marriage almost ended, covid which was traumatic.

50’s we have grown as a couple, strengthened our relationship, made some massive changes with distancing myself from those that were making my life difficult. I’ve worked on myself and my fitness. However menopause has hit hard to the point where the anxiety at times is crippling. Plus physical symptoms. The kids are much older and I am so proud of them but the realisation that they don’t need me as much, made better financial choices but the realisation that we haven’t got adequate savings or pension provision because of earlier mistakes plus DH is facing redundancy which is daunting in mid 50’s. However I have had time to pursue hobbies and we are now in a house that makes all of us happy. However I dislike the onset of time and ageing and the prospect of ageing parents and losing loved ones. Don’t feel I’m coping well at the moment. I’m exhausted even though people look at me and think I have it sussed (I really don’t). Feel like I need an easier life but can’t change my career as we are reliant on my income. However I feel more secure in my relationships and friendships

I guess on balance I was happiest in my 30’s with younger kids and working less hours

I'm 29 with one dc (2) 20's was by far the roughest. Thought I needed a relationship to be whole. Split from partner and now a single mum. Feel quite lost although I have a lot of freedom.

Rebuilding my life and planning for my 30's to be stress free

This will include
Building property portfolio
Starting to invest in stocks and shares
Staying single unless someone can significantly enhance mine and dc life
Self care with salon treatments
Forcing myself to exercise in some form.
No sugar apart from weekends !

Is this shallow?
After my 20's, I just want the next decade to be problem free as much as I can.

My twenties. Lived abroad for a year. Lived in a capital city and made lifelong friends. Completed a postgraduate at a top university. Became financially independent. Met my husband towards the end of my twenties. Could eat whatever I wanted and remain around 8 stone.

I’m 50 and all the decades have had their highlights, but my 40’s were definitely good. Like you, I had children in my 30’s so that was great but knackering! By my 40’s, they were settled at school and I had more time to learn new things. Having lessons and learning to swim well, for example, was fantastic. I discovered that I’m an amphibian and that swimming is my favorite exercise. 😂 I also made some great friends in my 40’s through work and activities, both my own and my children’s.

Last year threw me some unexpected curveballs so I’m hoping that my 50’s get going properly this year!

A friend took a photo of me laughing yesterday, I didn’t realise until she sent it to me. It’s probably one of my favourite ever photos of myself.

Wrinkles are on full view, yes, but I look so happy. Happier than I’d ever have expected when I was in my 30s & living in a shitty relationship.