To think they could attempt to my big birthday special

[Goldielocks2p22]

Turn 30 this year (early in the month date) Single and family have mentioned a night away with mum and aunties and then going for a meal to celebrate.

Come to find out my dad has booked him and my mum out from the start of the month till 30th meaning we either celebrate on the last day of the month or in the next month which I’m away for 3 weeks. So likely to be doing both now 5/6 weeks after my actually birthday. Am I unreasonable to think they could have made come attempt to celebrate my birthday?

Why is 30 more special than any other?
You're an adult not a child.
I was away for my daughters birthday.. l bought her a new shark vacuum..she was more than happy.

I think they did, unfortunately your Dad didn't. Make sure not to make a fuss of his next big birthday.I hope you enjoy your birthday anyway.

I find it so weird on this board. So many people here think birthdays should stop at the age of 18. I am astonished people have never heard of celebrating a 30th, 40th and 50th. It’s incredibly common in my social circle. We love celebrating each other’s birthdays, whatever the age! And I am in my fifties.

It is fine not to celebrate. But very joyless not to understand that others want to!

OP, it is a bit weird that they wanted to celebrate with you and then booked themselves away on that date. But it will still be something lovely to look forward to, and maybe you can do something fun with friends on the actual day.

As much as I would miss having my mum there, I would stick to the original plan and go away with my aunts.

Come to find out my dad has booked him and my mum out from the start of the month till 30th

Bit confused by this phrase.
Do you mean they are away on some sort of extended holiday ?
In which case your Mum would also have been involved in the arrangements, would she not?
I wouldn't "not go" on a holiday that worked at that time for all other reasons, just because it was one of my dcs' birthdays that month - I'd have just said 'we're off on our holiday that month, do you want to go out before, or after your birthday ?'

If you aren't having a big party, then it doesn't really matter when you get together, does it? Just find a date everyone you want to be there, can get there.

People who have August Birthdays and people who have Christmas birthdays do this all the time.

I wouldn’t plan a holiday around when an adult child’s birthday is.
Why can’t you see your mum and celebrate the week before?

Can you do something with your friends instead? I wouldn’t be particularly upset if my parents were on holiday on my birthday. Even if it was a bigger one.

I turn 40 this year and have actually booked a holiday for me, DH and my young adult/older teenage kids to actively avoid having to do anything with the extended family. I have a sister who likes to celebrate every birthday like it’s a big birthday and she was already starting to make noises about plans. She’s actually mentioned flying out to join us on holiday. I love my sister, but just no. I shall be putting her off doing that!

anyway. Make your own plans. You’re an adult and your parents don’t have to provide you with birthday fun.

My parents never made much of anyone’s birthdays even my 21st went passed without them doing anything.

Just to clarify they are on holiday but have booked various other plans for every day from then.

Mum said she’d be hurt if we went without her

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I certainly wouldn't be going away over my child's birthday, regardless of how old they're turning. Your post is a bit confusing, but I'm assuming your mum and aunties agreed to go away with you to celebrate, and your dad has booked something over the same time period without your mum knowing? Either way, if I were your mum, I'd be telling your dad that I wouldn't be going, and whatever he's booked will have to be rearranged.

Presumably your mum chose to do whatever it is with your dad that's unmovable? If she wanted to cancel she would have.

Tell her you'll be celebrating your birthday on the actual day with your friends and aunties, and you'll have another do to include her afterwards.

She can't say she'll be hurt if she's not included when she's chosen to be physically not present?

When I was single my parents 100% would have assumed I may want to see turn around my birthday. Abs checked before booking a holiday what my plans are.

Even now I am attached (and over 50) they still check. And I generally see them around my birthday and theirs later on. Fairly normal I'd say.

If your birthday is earlier in the month, can't you go away just before? So the end of the month before?

I get it OP, I'd be hurt. I've seen my parents on nearly every birthday I've ever had (except when I work abroad). I've also always made the effort to see them on their birthdays too. Big birthdays we always do something, even if it's dinner or a night in at theirs/ours.
I'd be hurt if that suddenly changed and they didn't make the effort for my 30th.

They might be pretending to be busy cause they are throwing a surprise party?

My Dad completely disregards my birthday too and it’s really hurtful. I wonder if my Dad thinks like some of the shite that gets posted here, ‘you’re an adult’ ‘why would you need them to celebrate with you’ etc and believes it. I’m having a party for a big birthday this year, he will be away. In fact, he has been ‘away’ for my birthday for the past 15 years despite being retired.

Your mum doesn’t get to move the goal posts because she’s changed the plans. I’d just say we’ll do something together to mark my birthday when your back and it’s convenient for you, but I’m going to celebrate on the day with those that want/can be there.

Just go with your Aunts. Why are your Mum's hurt feelings more important than yours?

People treat you how you let them.

Guilt preferable to resentment in this instance.

"Mum said she’d be hurt if we went without her"

'You'd best talk to Dad about that, then; it's his choice to tie your time up that whole month so that you can't come with us.'

I'd go ahead with the night away with your aunts. Your mum can decide whether she wants to come too.

If it was important to go away with your Mum and your Aunts, why did you not get that booked in the diary early? You can't expect people to leave their diaries clear waiting for something that you might or might not book? If you don't start the ball rolling soon, then the dates at the end of the month and the following month will get booked up.

You seem very passive. It's important to you to have this celebration of your big birthday, but you don't seem to have made any effort to plan it. Have you actually started any planning at all? Sorted your budget, worked out when people are free, asked where and for how long people can go, looked at what accommodation is available etc?

Oh FFS, this is so depressing. You're 30, OP, not 5!
People have lives - not everything revolves around you, or around any adult's birthday.
And I have an (alleged) big birthday and will be spending it solo - which is great, because then I can just avoid any fuss.

Being one day older doesn't matter, unless you're a banana.

You're an adult. Celebrate how you want to. Or don't bother. It's just another day 😊

Do you have friends or family? Have you ever been invited to an adult birthday party? What do you think of young people having 21st celebrations?

Why the ‘ffs’?! Why has this upset you?

Do something with your mates.

This is my thinking.

I do like to celebrate my birthday, so, here's the thing, because I want to get certain people together, I will Whatsapp them to sort the best date. Being on my actual birthday doesn't matter, it is just a hook to hang the get together on.
When it has been a big birthday (40th / 50th / 60th) then I plan a party, and tell people about it in advance, so it is in their diaries. Then they can decide if they keep that date free or not.

What you seem to be thinking is that everyone should keep all the time around your birthday free, on the off chance that you might one to invite them to do something. Life doesn't really work like that.

Any chance your dad has deliberately booked things in for your mum because he wasn't invited? So if he's not going then he's going to make sure she can't either? I think I'd speak to your mum and ask her what plans of hers near your birthday can be cancelled so that you, her and your aunts can go away.

Sorry, your way sounds much more depressing than OP.