To no longer buy cards and gifts for office colleagues birthdays and special occasions?

[ByFirmPoster]

I took on the role of collecting donations and buying cards and gifts for everyone at work after the previous person left. I have enjoyed buying the gifts and giving them to colleagues at times of celebration and illness. They have always been appreciated. I would either buy them at lunchtime if it was nearby extending my lunchtime by 15 minutes or so or go in the evening occasionally to John Lewis etc.

A member of the team has been regularly coming in late and leaving early. She has missed deadlines and not done the work required. Management have now introduced timesheets for everyone to tackle this team member. Everyone else is good at timekeeping and getting the work done.

This has now left me with not enough time at lunch to go and buy the cards and gifts. I mentioned it to my manager and she suggested buying cards and gifts in my own time in the evening. I only have a short lunch time as I need to leave early for school pick up.

I no longer want to spend my own time buying gifts etc for everyone. It was a colleagues birthday and no one bought her anything, not even a card. I did mention to people that her birthday was coming up and would someone like to organise a card/gift. Nobody came forward. She was upset as she has been very generous with others special occasions often giving £20 or more. I feel bad but I can’t keep doing this for everyone in my own time now the strict timesheets have been introduced.

AIBU to stop even though no one else wants to take over?

This whole practice of office gifting needs to stop, imo. People should not be pressured into giving money at work.

We just do a card where I work, we all put in a couple of pound a year. Personally, given the choice, I wouldn’t even do that.

Absolute crap attitude from management re: a little extra time at lunch to do this, given it’s work related.

IMO people having to spend their own money on gifts for colleagues isn’t really right anyway, and the company should probably pay.

You’re not being unreasonable. If it was me I’d drop everyone an email to let them know that I was stepping back from this, but would avoid going into the reason (manager not allowing time).

Not surprised that the person who had been generous was upset. However it’s bonkers of you to think that company time should be used for shopping even if buying gifts for colleagues. Nice of you to do it - but not on company time .

Why don’t you buy 10 cards at a time and still send a joint birthday card but stop the gifts. I suspect most of the time the gifts are generic and not that well received.

This isn't work or even work related. Either do it in your own time or don't. You shouldn't be being paid for time you're faffing around shopping.

I hate the office collections. I used to work in a massive open plan office with multiple large teams and it was ALWAYS someone's birthday, mat leave or retirement. Used to cost an absolute fortune. Luckily one of the more senior staff members on our team was quite vocal about it being scrapped. People still did but it made it easier for some of us to no longer contribute.

Send an email saying you are stepping back from doing this.

Suggest an E card people can sign online in future.

I used to be the person who organised presents and cards usually ending up out of pocket. I decided to stop doing it and my manager sent an email saying I wasn't doing it and people can bring in cakes on their birthday to celebrate if they wanted to. Some do, some don't and no one gives out. For babies, engagements etc. the person's manager organises a collection and gift card.

It's a thankless job, one I didn't mind doing at the time but once you stop you realise how much of a fool you were.

We have an actual organised fund that costs ten quid to join. There is a list of what occasions get a gift - round birthdays, becoming a parent etc- and to what value. If you don't contribute then you shouldn't expect anything from colleagues. Treads like this make me realise how friggin wonderful it is.

Bit of a jobsworth’s attitude this.

She’s doing for the benefit of the company’s employees, they should be pleased about it.

We just don't do birthday gifts at work. I always found it a bit of a ridiculous merry-go-round. We only collect for leaving dos and bereavement. Either way, the collection load should be shared between colleagues or organized by management. It shouldn't fall to one person as keeping track of birthdays is a job in itself.

That's a great scheme. I like the consistency (everyone gets the same amount) and that it's optional

The first reply nails it. I don’t give and I have made it clear I don’t expect to receive. Also there a total arsehole who I work with who I wouldn’t give the shirt off my back to let alone actual money, and I don’t want to be drawn into having to do so

Management knew I spent company time buying cards and gifts and were happy for me to do as it made for a happy working environment. It only changed when they introduced the timesheet system and all time has to be strictly accounted for.

I have been working nearly 40 years - I have never had a card or gift from the office for my birthday, thank goodness! What a lot of nonsense - it's so unnecessary.
But if you do insist on doing it, you've heard of the Internet? You can order all the cards & gifts you like online, and it takes no time.

Perhaps the time sheets haven't just been introduced for your colleague but for others too who think they going shopping on works time is acceptable?

Management knew I spent company time buying cards and gifts and were happy for me to do as it made for a happy working environment.

Management knew I spent company time buying cards and gifts and were happy for me to do as it made for a happy working environment.

I am friends with one of the management who told me the shirking colleague is the reason.

I am friends with one of the management who told me the shirking colleague is the reason

That's really unprofessional.

Probably but people do talk.

We had that policy too. Someone would take turns in organising things. Until they didn't.

But we did it online only. No actual presents. Just a card and gift card if we get enough money - and that's only for special occasions like big birthdays.

The other rule I've had in another office was the person who just had a birthday (or baby, wedding, whatever) card did the next one. That way everyone had to take a shot. You get a card, your turn next.

Online is so easy. You could do that at your desk and nobody would know.

The policy has to be discussed prior though.

In our team each person has a birthday buddy who they arrange a group card for. So everyone receives a card and we only have to buy one once a year. Most people set up an e-card, which takes 5 minutes to do, likely in work time. I can't say I'm that bothered about it to be honest but happy to take part if others like it.

If someone leaves or has a baby their managers organise an optional collection. If I was buying a gift I'd do it in my own time, but then if I was 10 mins back from lunch no one would care.

I'm not saying it's your fault but I feel really sorry for the person who has contributed but not got one. I don't think yabu but I think you should have been more vocal to your manager that you dont have time or want to do it anymore and to highlight the implications for this person of you suddenly stopping. If it's stopping then it needs to be transparent across the team. I don't have a strong feeling about in work versus out of work time, but your manager could have made that call. Sounds like the flexibility thing hasn't been managed all that well.

I think you put your annoyance about the principle before the feelings of your colleague, which is a shame but I don't really blame you as there's no way I would want to be lumbered with all the gift giving.

If the time is the only reason you don't want to do it why can't you just order things online. It takes a couple of minutes.

It mean that no one got the last woman anything.

I loathe office gifting, it really gets on my nerves. These people are not your friends! IME, theres always one performative person all like 'let's get a gift for x for whatever reason', who just likes shopping and gets to spend other people's money.

Now I just blank, don't add to anything. Don't care. And if I left, I'd be very clear - no leaving gift thanks!