To ask if you’ve ever regretted no contact?

[PumpkinSpicedLatte]

Just that really. I think I’m going no contact with 2 family member.
Don’t want to drip feed, so I’ll try not to. It’s a close family member, and I’ve always felt like the black sheep in my family. I’ve had a lot of therapy over the years to get over things said to me growing up.

I am under no illusion that no contact is a huge thing and really painful, my partner is no contact with some of her family. But I can’t see another way around this. They live in the next county and work different hours so I have a chance of bumping into them but slim. My parents will have something to say to me when they find out. I just need a hand hold, I’ve blocked both members numbers so that I don’t receive any other messages off them but it won’t be long until my parents get involved. Will it ever be ok?
31 year old independent Mum of two, but still feeling scared to make my own decisions because of the repercussions.

AIBU-You’ll regret it
YANBU- You won’t regret it

I went no contact with a relative for a year. Stated my boundaries first which just made them more angry. Did the no contact, then asked them to put it behind us with my boundaries in place. They agreed and dispite being low contact they still went back on the boundary thing snd got angry with me.

I think low contact is better. There's no big announcement or drama. People either change or they don't.

For me it was mil. She never seems to speak to her son about problems she makes me talk to him / do her telling her off. So when he doesn't go grovelling to her I get the flack and blame. Just should inhindsight said "I'm sorry to hear that" and left it there. Too late now. Feeding drama with drama was a mistake.

You can block them for a month. And breath and think. Just say if your parents ask why they can't phone your reception is terrible suddenly I think there's a local fault. Or go no contact and give a one sentence reason. Or no reason. Don't do a massive explanation as I got a 'your dead to me' reply. I was hoping for some eureka moment. There wasn't one

Don't burn bridges as you might find a way back. I think my mil hates uncomfortable conversations with people she loves as she recently is avoiding directly talking a close relative who has lost a child because she is so sad. Whereas she is OK taking that on me as there's no love there. So I do regret it. I wish I'd just ignored her for that year

As you can see by my username, I certainly do not regret going NC. It has greatly improved my life.

Don’t blame you at all for wanting NC and if your parents, after knowing what was said to you, are annoyed with you for making that decision for yourself and your partner, then…tough shit.

I am very sad that NC is necessary but that is just me wishing that the person had a different personality really, which is ridiculous of me. It all still makes me sad though.

It seems you don’t have to do anything as your brother isn’t going to be in contact with you until you apologise for saying how you felt when SIL revealed her homophobia. She’ll accept you so long as you aren’t in a relationship, which isn’t accepting you at all.

If your parents pressure you into apologising for the sake of family harmony ask them to explain specifically why it isn’t your SIL who needs to apologise and why what they want is more important than who you are

I went very low contact with my brother over 15 years.,then no contact the last 6 years. It was absolute heaven not having to deal with a mentally abusive narcissist. Cut to now...my parents have recently relocated near him,5 minutes away and I'm likely to bump into him in future. Fuck!! 🤬🤬🤬