Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

am i selfish to leave partner?

6 replies

justtryingherbest · 18/01/2025 06:59

i’m really at a loss on what the right thing to do. would i be unreasonable to leave?

my other half drinks every day. on average 4 cans of beer every night, sometimes more sometimes less. he has tried to cut down or stop but it just creeps back to the same amount. he lies about it to me and hides cans and bottles. when i’ve been pregnant i’ve had to ask him to not drink incase i’ve gone into labour - which i don’t trust he didn’t stop

he also smokes weed, which a few weeks ago i was told he was ‘done, flushing it down the toilet, hate it etc etc’ and he’s now back to smoking it

we have 2 young children, which he is absolutely great with. but me as a partner i don’t know if i can keep being lied to constantly

i worry that im breaking up a ‘happy’ family, where we both have good jobs, own our home, 2 lovely children. sometimes i wonder if his drinking is excessive enough to leave

OP posts:
kimchisauchio · 18/01/2025 07:08

we have 2 young children, which he is absolutely great with.

ob the basis of your OP, I imagine your benchmark for what is a “great” parent is very low

kimchisauchio · 18/01/2025 07:09

as your children age, they will realise the shit show that is their family and be very unhappy

Jellycatspyjamas · 18/01/2025 07:23

sometimes i wonder if his drinking is excessive enough to leave

You can leave any relationship for any reason, his drinking is too much for you, that’s enough. I’d have gone after the weed tbh.

66babe · 18/01/2025 07:27

Your 2 children and yourself will be a lot better off in the future in a safe happy secure home .. rather than living in an unhappy environment with a lying dope head .

TheWholeMealBaby · 18/01/2025 07:29

The weed would bother me more than the drinking tbh. Whilst 4 cans per night isn't great I assume it doesn't really affect him (obviously I don't mean in the sense of his health longterm)
Weed stinks and I wouldn't want the kids around that.
You can leave for any reason you like, if you don't like the shape of his feet you can leave him for that!

Xatz63 · 18/01/2025 14:54

But you aren't breaking up a happy family he is doing that by his own actions .
He is not a great parent or partner .Sorry to sound harsh but do you really want your children growing up thinking having a drink every night and smoking weed is what a happy family do ?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page