Pretend shooting play in school

[Something30mum]

My DD is in reception. She told me the boys in her class had been pretend shooting at her and a friend in class and they had hid under a table. I asked her if she had also done the pretend shooting, had she found it fun? She said no. I wanted to establish if she had also participated. She said no. She said she had asked them to stop. She said a teacher had told them to get out of the tables and that she had told the teacher what was happening. She did not say if the teacher had redirected the boys play.
should I say something to the teacher or am I a snowflake? I instantly started to say just ignore it, sometime people don’t know the rules but now I feel like actually it’s not ok and it should not be ok for a child to pretend to shoot. Especially as they are not participating they are the targets. I don’t know if all my DD recalls is the whole truth but she felt it true enough to tell me where I never get anything out of her! The more I think about it the more I think about the suffering in other countries from guns, the beginning of her feeling scared and dominated by someone else. Is it just fun and games or is it something we should pay attention to therefore I should raise it with the teachers. If she was older I would definitely be telling her that it’s never right to use a gun sign. Help and all answers appreciated

Maybe I'm going to be in the minority but I wouldn't be worked up about this at all. It's just young kids playing.

I voted yanbu because it turns my stomach seeing children play with guns.
However, it does seem to be an almost universal little boy activity. I’d mention to the teacher the fact it was directed at the other children rather than a bunch of kids running around going pow pow at each other.

the beginning of her feeling scared and dominated by someone else

I remember this. I chose to only engage with the school if there was bullying, and there was at times. Things like this, I chose to give DD skills because we can't change the patriarchy but we can change how we react to it.

In a situation like this, talk to her to reassure that it's pretend. And since it's pretend, what could we do instead of hide? I taught DD three snaps in a Z and to roll her eyes. And to recognise attention-seeking behaviour and remove attention (that one takes longer). Little fun tricks like they have a pretend gun, she has a pretend Kevlar vest. Kevlar was also invented by a woman so the little girls love that fact. A woman invented something to stop guns.

These skills, and the older-aged, related ones, have stood DD in very good stead.

The boys tend to take up space. She will need skills to take up space herself. Hiding isn't that so choosing something else may work better.

In reception, gun play is very common. I worked in a classroom for years and fought against it, but you can only correct children so many times. We tried to educate rather than punish as it doesn't work. We eventually bargained one year group down to lasers rather than guns. Just make sure she is confident to keep saying "You are not shooting me. I don't like that. Shooting hurts. You need to stop."

Same.

I wouldn't say anything. I'd encourage DD to say very loudly that she doesn't want to play shooting.

your dd was the one being silly- why was she hiding under the table? At 4 i would be a little worried if she believes she can get shot with fingers or whatever object the lads were improvising as guns

I've worked in countless schools in EYFS as a supply teacher and I have never seen an adult who hasn't intervened when a child is playing shooting games,

It's constant problem though and it's worse than it ever was. I stopped two four year old boys today who were shooting each other with the base of a giant connect four game. Apparently it wasn't playing with guns it was 'playing Fortnite'.

@SouthLondonMum22
I agree too.
I remember speaking to a teacher friend of mine who taught reception.
She said whenever she set out items for play she would try really hard to think about what she could use that the boys wouldn't turn into weapons.
She gave up in the end.

I'd focus on teaching my child what to do if she isn't comfortable with what the other children are playing.

I don't think weapon play is inherently bad. It's a great way for kids to explore enthusiastic consent and boundaries. Lots of good use of imagination and gross motor too.

Lol @ criticising a 4 year old

I’m definitely in the minority. I think it’s so over the top making an issue because some 4 year old boys are using their fingers and saying “pew pew”. Why is your daughter so impacted by it? Do you have conversations about the dangers of guns (understandable if you live in America). It’s not a new game, children have been playing these games for years! Unless they lay hands on your child, what on earth is the issue?!

I really dont think encouraging the development of imaginative play that includes blowing someone’s brains out is the best idea an EYFS teacher could come up with.

Oh stop it 🙄. Do you think that’s what the 4 year old boys were thinking? So over the top!

This wouldn't bother me at all.

Massive difference between some young children playing cops & robbers, cowboys or alien invasions and pretending to shoot each other and older kids doing it in a serious/threatening way - which this isn't.

It can be really hard to stop gun play, but a rule that they don't 'shoot' at other children/people often works. They can still 'shoot' imaginary targets etc.

This ^ is a fantastic response.

I teach in a rural school where a lot of the children experience rifles on a day to day basis. I won’t allow’gun’ play. I remind the children that ‘guns’ or ‘rifles’ are kept in locked boxes by their grown ups who are not allowed to play with them and it’s the same for us. If they pretend play again then it’s a firm, ‘NO’! And my ‘NO’ means ‘NO’!

We also have sporting use of guns in our family and have had safety talks with our daughter surrounding this who understands what guns are used for in the provision of food to our table.

I am somewhere in the middle. Currently my 7 yo son has started to do gun signs I have been clear this is not ok at all, but feel it is a losing battle. I don’t have toy guns in the house at all.
on the other hand it is a normal childhood game but i think it needs correcting!

YABU. If you think a teacher can stop every kid that wants to pretend they are shooting or have a sword or whatever else, you are absolutely dreaming! I'm sure when they see something along those lines they do tell them to stop. But they can't police them all the time.

I hate it too. Unfortunately my little boys have other ideas and definitely do pretend gun play, no matter how hard I've fought it.

Look up ‘we don’t play with guns here’. It’s a book that really challenges expectations around ‘war and weapon play’.

I wouldn’t say anything to the teacher but I would equip your DD with being able to say what types of play she’s comfortable with, and how to walk away or opt out.