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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Attendance contract

20 replies

Tonotonk · 17/01/2025 18:09

So my child started school in September. She suffers with a really bad constant cough, when gets a viral infection. She doesn't sleep and is literally coughing constantly, she has had sickness and diarrhoea twice, tonsillitis and a perforated ear drum. Her attendance is 87.1 %. I have recieved an email asking to go into a meeting, to sign an attendance contract. If I sent a sick child to school is that not neglect? How am I supposed to sign a contract to agree to a situation I have no control over? If my child's sick she is sick. What do I do?

OP posts:
Cremeeggtime · 17/01/2025 18:10

I assume she is under the care of a doctor? So I would just go in and explain that.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/01/2025 18:11

They can’t force you to. Is she 4 or 5?

Thewaitingseason · 17/01/2025 18:11

Don’t sign it . Refuse and put in writing what you’ve said here that it’s something beyond your control therefore you cannot sign anything . Push back against the school.

CraftyOP · 17/01/2025 18:50

Why not go and have a meeting and explain to them and then check in with your GP, that's a lot of illnesses for a short space of time which is just what it's like for some kids but might be something underlying with the cough like asthma? You don't have to sign anything but if you did they wouldn't do anything anyway!

PeppyTealDuck · 17/01/2025 18:58

Schools put pressure these days but you can’t control illness. I’d go to the meeting, explain she’s been ill. Signing something or not doesn’t really make a difference, they’re just applying pressure on you in case you were the problem.
It is annoying but don’t let them pressure you into sending in a sick child.

Oioisavaloy27 · 17/01/2025 19:05

From nursery till around the age of 8 children pick up absolutely everything, if you kept them off every time they were ill they would never be in.

Ramblingaway · 17/01/2025 19:09

Did your child go to nursery? If not, I think this can just happen. I had repeated bouts of tonsillitis and pneumonia in my first year of school but I wasn't in nursery. My daughter, who went to nursery did all her being ill between ages 1 and 2. Schools really don't seem to get this difference. They're under pressure from the councils to raise attendance levels. Last time my daughter was off colour, I sent her in but warned them at the gate and said to ring me if she got worse and I'd take her home. They said 'could you bring Calpol in and her a dose at lunch time so she can make the afternoon register. It's bonkers.

iwillfollowyou · 17/01/2025 21:30

Don't sign it email and firstly remind them that until the term after she is five legally she does not have to attend school and that all her absence has been due to illness which is a legitimate reason not to send your child to school.

Gorgeousfeet · 17/01/2025 21:32

Don’t sign anything yet.
Talk to them. I presume you have medical records and you can get copies of consultations.
Go for the meeting and take it from there.
They are going nuts on attendance at the moment.

JessiesJ99 · 17/01/2025 21:35

Asking you to sign a contract when she has been poorly seems ridiculous. Attendance contracts are not for children who are poorly. Do they think if you sign it she'll no longer be poorly......🤔😆

Bobbie12345 · 17/01/2025 21:41

I think you should go and talk to the school plus discuss it with her gp.

No, you shouldn’t send her when she is ill.
But a lingering cough after a virus is very normal for a lot of kids and doesn’t need time off school. They aren’t infectious any more. Or it could indicate mild asthma which would be worth identifying.
Your gp will be able to give you guidance on what symptoms she should stay home for, and when it is ok to push on through (acknowledging that she might be a bit tired).
It doesn’t matter so much now perhaps, but over the course of her school career you don’t want her missing time unnecessarily.

Bobbie12345 · 17/01/2025 21:47

JessiesJ99 · 17/01/2025 21:35

Asking you to sign a contract when she has been poorly seems ridiculous. Attendance contracts are not for children who are poorly. Do they think if you sign it she'll no longer be poorly......🤔😆

It does help to keep focus on school being super important.
I had a friend whose child was always ill on a Monday with headaches and being vaguely tired/ unwell. She drove me mad at how much she let it slide. Once the school started getting stricter she started paying a lot more attention to sleep and nutrition over the weekend, she started telling him he had to go on a Monday morning even if he felt a bit off (and that she would collect him later if he was truely unwell) and you know what… his attendance improved dramatically.
Not saying that is the case for you at all,op. Just saying that I thoroughly support schools who are raising queries regarding illness absences that are above a threshold.

JessiesJ99 · 17/01/2025 21:50

Bobbie12345 · 17/01/2025 21:47

It does help to keep focus on school being super important.
I had a friend whose child was always ill on a Monday with headaches and being vaguely tired/ unwell. She drove me mad at how much she let it slide. Once the school started getting stricter she started paying a lot more attention to sleep and nutrition over the weekend, she started telling him he had to go on a Monday morning even if he felt a bit off (and that she would collect him later if he was truely unwell) and you know what… his attendance improved dramatically.
Not saying that is the case for you at all,op. Just saying that I thoroughly support schools who are raising queries regarding illness absences that are above a threshold.

Edited

Having the conversation fine, but signing a contract seems ridiculous and like they are blaming the parent.

creamsnugjumper · 17/01/2025 21:52

Who is making these rules up?? the individual heads it is this policy from above?

It's bonkers.

madamweb · 17/01/2025 21:54

You need to make sure you are getting plenty of involvement from a GP /paediatrician.

Make sure each time she is absent you are seeking doctor advice. So you have a record. Annoying but important

Mayflyoff · 17/01/2025 22:08

I wouldn't enter into a contract, except if I was doing it freely and by choice. The idea of one side saying "we've written this, you need to sign" doesn't make sense with contracts.

Badgertime · 22/01/2025 21:22

I've just had one for my daughter and I work in school myself.
We get lectured about attendance every Monday morning in briefing. It seems it's all they care about at the moment. I have several students who have long term illnesses and am forced to call home when students are off sick for more than a day.

I've been asked to sign a contract whereby any illness not signed by a GP is unauthorised and I have to agree for them to call her GP.
I'm not happy about it at all. She suffers with bad asthma and other medical issues which I generally manage myself rather than bugging the GP every time.

I'm not sure what to do yet.
This is secondary.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 22/01/2025 22:06

Badgertime · 22/01/2025 21:22

I've just had one for my daughter and I work in school myself.
We get lectured about attendance every Monday morning in briefing. It seems it's all they care about at the moment. I have several students who have long term illnesses and am forced to call home when students are off sick for more than a day.

I've been asked to sign a contract whereby any illness not signed by a GP is unauthorised and I have to agree for them to call her GP.
I'm not happy about it at all. She suffers with bad asthma and other medical issues which I generally manage myself rather than bugging the GP every time.

I'm not sure what to do yet.
This is secondary.

I can't imagine your GP is happy about it either.

I do attendance in a primary school. I'm sometimes embarrassed at what I'm asked to do now. One of my own children always picked up any illness going in Reception and Year 1, so I get it. It was bad enough needing to take time away from work to look after him when he was ill but if I'd had to take further time away from work to attend meetings about his (genuine) absences I would have been quite annoyed. Parents risk getting pulled up by their employers about their OWN absences so most want their children in school.

However, since COVID, attendance rates have really dropped and as a result the Department for Education and Ofsted are now really cracking down. Cost of living rises certainly add to the issue - many KS1 parents think nothing of taking their child on holiday in term time, particularly at the beginning and end of the academic year or terms. I can't say I blame them, quite honestly.

OP, I always advise our parents who get upset or uppity about the school following up attendance to calmly work with the school without getting defensive, attend the meetings with the head and chat through the reasons for absence. Ask them to clarify what evidence they would like you to provide for viral symptoms, for which it isn't always appropriate to visit a GP. Sign the contract as it will probably say something about about ensuring that your child attends school each day that they are well enough etc, which I'm sure no parent would disagree with.

Regarding your child's specific illnesses, some children do develop post-viral wheeze or bad cough after a virus. It's worth consulting a GP to see if they mgiht suggest an inhaler temporarily for such occasions. You should be able to send a screenshot to school of the dates you had telephone consultations or in person appointments as "medical evidence". Send school a copy of any prescriptions for antibiotics eg for the perforated eardrum. You're just covering your back in case it gets to a level of asking for the educational welfare officer to review it all.

Sickness and diarrhoea is a difficult one. Policy is probably that you shouldn't send them back to school until they are 48 hours clear from vomiting or diarrhoea in the case of a stomach bug. If you're in that situation again call school and ask what they would like you to do - to send your child in before the 48 hour period due to their low attendance or to keep them at home as per school policy. Let THEM decide what they want you to do. I suspect that many parents who need to get back to work send their child back to school before the 48 hour period anyway (I've done it myself in the past ). It obviously risks spreading the infection but that's on the school. As long as your child is well enough in themselves to be in school, send them in. Put it on the school.

If you're not sure whether to send your child in in the morning if they say they don't feel well, but don't have a temp or anything obvious, send them in to school, letting the teacher know and asking them to keep an eye on them. The teacher won't want a genuinely sick child in their class any more than you want them to be there. So they will phone you to collect them if genuinely ill.

Same if they seem to have a slight temp but dont seem TOO bad. Give them calpol, send them into school, let the teacher know, and standby for a phone call.

If it's the school calling you to collect them when they are ill then they can't question the absences.

When they ARE off, phone in every day and give an update. It's tiresome, but it takes 2 minutes and shows that you're working with the school.

Oh and don't book any holidays for the beginning of September. You will IMMEDIATELY be on the radar for attendance levels for months to come, discussed at the regular attendance meetings etc. Basically, try to avoid booking ANY term time holiday at any time but if you do be aware of the situations when you would be liable to get an automatic fixed penalty notice and email the school with full details of dates for absence, reason for the term time holiday (they still won't be able to authorise but you've got it on record) and don't be tempted to pretend your child is ill as kids always spill the beans no matter what you tell them.

Calebbloomfest · 22/01/2025 23:06

Take your own contract with you and ask THEM to sign it to confirm that if she gets the illnesses again which have previously kept her off school such as
sickness and diarrhoea
tonsillitis
perforated ear drum
or any other illness
that no matter how unwell she is they would like her in school regardless.

I have a feeling they will refuse to sign and you too refuse to sign theirs.

all this pressure on attendance is ridiculous. Of course kids need to be educated but not at the expense of their health.

BeeCucumber · 22/01/2025 23:21

You sign the contract and your child is sick again - what happens next? It's a pointless exercise because the terms and conditions of a contract need to be fair to both parties. You have no control over your child's sickness just as you have no control over the weather.

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