Is it normal to hoard money after trauma?

[OneSpryCyanFox]

I experienced some traumatic events last year, particularly financial and emotional stability, and I’m concerned about how it’s affecting my relationship with money. It’s led to this strong urge to save and hold onto money as a way to feel safe. I know some people might see it as being overly cautious but I wonder if this is a common response for others who’ve experienced similar situations.

Is it normal to feel like you need to hoard money after going through trauma or is this something I should work on letting go of? Have others experienced this and how did you find a balance between saving for security and actually enjoying life?

It's not such a bad thing, often with a different sort of trauma like a bereavement the money is gone in 12 months. My dad died fairly young and I told myself I wanted the money to last 10 years so I let myself spend a bit but am otherwise hoarding it. I think if you want to enjoy yourself more that's a slightly different question, you don't have to spend money on that. I like buying the odd treat, day out or not worrying about the occasional upgrade on holiday. Give yourself some time

It's understandable but not unnecessary healthy.

By hoarding, what are you scarifying or nor spending money on? Are you avoiding essentials or reducing them? Are you denying yourself ever little treat?

How is it negatively playing out?

OP, there is nothing wrong with wanting an emergency float especially if you have just been through a stressful time.. Any sensible person recognises that incomes can be disrupted.

I try to keep a year's essential expenses in my emergency fund. I was made redundant due to Covid and it took me 7 months to find a new role. Thank God I had the money available.

I mean more toward the first scenario you mentioned. I’m not at the point where I’m living off the bare minimum but I do feel like I’m constantly anxious about spending anything unnecessary, even on small treats or social events.

I’m definitely not declining all invites or turning the heating off but I notice a hesitation to relax and enjoy what I’ve worked for, and I wonder if that’s a sign I’m holding onto past fears too much.

I do like how you put it: learning from experience versus being consumed by it. Thank you.

My exh screwed me financially in divorce. I know it has made me very wary of ever being in a situation where I don't have money again. I've got a fire safe with both several thousand pounds and euros in. I've also got a French bank account with money in, just in case of anything happening to UK banks. I know it's irrational but it gives me peace of mind and doesn't harm anyone. I also invest in property, bonds and shares as well as save. I've even given my sister money to hold for me in case I ever divorce DH. I'm happy with him and don't intend to divorce but I can't forget my first marriage after I caught my first husband cheating and told him I wanted a divorce he emptied our joint account and our joint savings account. I didn't even have enough money to get a solicitor. Luckily my sister let me borrow some money from her which I paid back after my financial settlement. I just can't risk it ever happening again. I've got enough to help my DD if ever she needed to leave her DH too.

I also feel the need to have a huge food pantry and two freezers full of frozen food too. Lots of washing powder, toilet rolls, dishwasher tablets, toiletries, and medication etc too. My DS jokes if he runs out of anything he can just come to my house to get it.

My DF was born in the war, and remembers rationing. He hoards food, and I recently had to go through it. The oldest thing I found went off in 1995.