To ask whether you're turning (or have turned) into your mother?

[mumofoneAlonebutokay]

I caught myself today repeating one of my cockney mums sayings to dd

Although we're estranged, I'm definitely turning into mine. Fingers crossed I don't get her early menopause 😩

Edited to add that I was so happy about getting 4 x steaks from lidl today and planning tonight's dinner. My dm would be the same about a bargain 😄😄

Well sometimes I open mouth to speak and she comes out! Does that count?

I think when you become a parent, you look at your own childhood and make a decision about whether or not that's what you want for your own childhood.

In my case, it's not at all what I wanted and my DH was in full agreement. Some terrible experiences that have had lasting damage. To be absolutely clear though, it wasn't just DM, it was also DF and perhaps him even more so.

So we're massively different parents. I love her very much but I can't depend on her and it's not really a maternal love as such. I think she loves me but I'm so different that I don't think she really likes me as a person.

I look more and more like DM and her DM. However, I like to think that I am a much better listener than both of them (probably put together). If I try telling DM my troubles, her usual response is "there's nothing I can do about it" and then will change the topic of the conversation to something mundane like she managed to plant out her tomato seedlings. I feel like shaking her and saying "there is something you can do, you can damned well listen."

DM is in most other respects a great woman.

My favourite fridge magnet. Enough said.

No and hopefully the one thing my mother has taught me is how NOT to behave towards my kids.

I can definitely see similarities with my mother and my grandmother. Some are things I'm happy with and some I'm not. My DH, meanwhile seems to become more like my grandfather over time. They both 'engineer' things a lot. I'm waiting for the day I'm greeted with "Don't touch me, I'm live!" again, or for a garden shed to explode.

I looked at my eyes the other day when I’d finished my make up and I SWEAR late DM was looking back at me. Same eyes, same eyelashes, same eye make up. It’s just crept up on me! It’s nice to feel her with me though, I miss her.

I see my Mum in me more as I get older. It's not a bad thing.

I am much more like my dad than my mum in my personality: she was quite shy and introverted and not very good at advocating for herself. I have defined myself in opposite to this because I could see it didn’t work out well for her. So if anything I am turning into my dad.

That said I have definitely inherited my mum’s obsessive cat lady thing which gets more pronounced the older I get.

Are we sisters? My mum was exactly like this and it was awful: it left us feeling unheard and powerless.

My mum just hated talking about anything serious or important so would always bring the conversation back to safe territory. I have resolved never to do this.

Glad it's not just me @Thepeopleversuswork 😊