Yes, it was withdrawn at the poster’s request. I remember the thread.
Probably because for some unfathomable reason, people talking to a distressed single mother with a child who’d been abducted were repeatedly insinuating that she was some sort of slag for having a boyfriend and that it was somehow all her fault because of this.
Also criticising her for being on mumsnet and appearing too “calm” in this situation instead of calling police, solicitor etc (all of which she’d previously said she’d already done and was waiting for callbacks and looking for other advice ).
And telling her she was “weak” and “passive” to let him walk all over her and she should stand up to him and just go over there and demand her child back as “what’s the worst he could do”. Without any understanding that 1. she’d potentially be arrested and end up being criticised in court for doing this, giving more ammunition to her abusive ex in terms of future custody 2. It would be traumatic and harmful for their child to be put in the middle of such an argument 3. Ummmm he might seriously hurt or even murder her and/or the child when tensions are running high and there is a lot at stake in a domestic abuse situation, THAT is the worst he could do and it isn’t weak to want to avoid the murder of yourself and your child…
I found the thread extremely triggering to be honest as someone who has been in the same situation as her. It’s so very clear that society still just does not understand at all how domestic abuse works, and that everything will always be the woman’s fault, even to a group of generally well educated women. It’s super depressing.
I hope she reads this and knows that other woman who have been in her situation totally get it. I also hope she and her child are ok.