Moving overseas

[Pullingmyhairout2023]

My husband and our daughter (12) moved overseas to a warmer country and live a new life.
we now have visitors constantly.
my husband plays his sport most of the time so I’m left to deal with the guest most of the time.
sometimes they stay for 6 weeks sometimes less or more. Most stay in the apartment attached to the house. Mostly they are in our house helping them selves to everything. (Not even buying their own toilet paper) just little things keep grating on me. I’m sick of having no time to myself. I barely sleep and this aggravates my mood daily.. don’t get me wrong I like seeing friends and family from my home but it’s like a revolving door.. then his dad will come and stay and that is always a one way ticket… I feel selfish and ungrateful for feeling like this. But I can’t help it. I’m constantly biting my tongue! In fear of people/guests thinking I’m being ridiculous, moody whatever they think.
my husband pays for everything including most of the meals when going out for dinner! Very rarely to people offer the part payment of the bill. My husband thinks is ok! He’s even bought the airfares for people (not expensive) but it’s not the point it’s the principal!
I don’t know how much more I can take! Visitors constantly since the 18th September other than 2 weeks just before Christmas Eve.
the girlfriend who is staying here with my son doesn’t lift a bloody finger. Doesn’t pay for anything. Husband bought her ticket here. Gave her $100 for Xmas as well so yesterday I politely asked them have they bought their return tickets as prices are going up with the airline. Basically the computer said no!! They don’t need to worry because my husband will buy them, OMG I sound so horrible and the. Feel massively guilty about feeling this way…
the cherry on the cake was when my husband went back to our Hometown and left me with the guest for 2 weeks. Fed up with cooking and cleaning really done. I said to him today he can have this house and I feel like moving back.. rant over thanks for taking the time to read

Just curious. Which country has warmer weather and inexpensive flights? I need holiday ideas.

It does sound like too much. Back to back guests and people staying for 6 weeks at a time whilst not contributing financially.
This is very unfair, and you're not happy. I think you need to have a serious chat and tell him it's unacceptable. Can you agree a schedule so you have plenty of weeks/months without visitors?
If he insists on having constant visitors he's being extremely selfish and completely disregarding your feelings. This for me, would be enough reason to separate.

Set boundaries. Give a maximum stay.
No keys to your home.

All purchases for airtravelling, for the flat and for guest's use are at guest's expense. Payment for wear and tear and for cleaning (use a cleaner) at leaving.

Say no if you like.
You don't need to have guests constantly.

We had this when we first moved abroad. It does settle down though.

Also, feel free to say no. 5-7 day limit on guests, depending upon how much you like them. Leave instructional booklet in the apartment with guidance for the local shops, recommendations for restaurants, and to leave money at the end of their stay for a cleaning lady when they leave (even if that is you) etc etc.

And give your DH's head a wobble!!!

Current status is visitors till the end of March then the father in law will arrive on an open ended ticket.
I have to find some humour from somewhere 🙏🏻🤣

Oh no I couldn't put up with that. Tell them they can stay in the apartment which they can buy their own food for but they aren't welcome in your house. They have it too good, no wonder they don't want to go home 🤣

Rent out the apartment to a long term let.

Invite your parents. See how that goes down on an indefinite footing.

Arrange drum/violin lessons at home obviously

Get a full time job. Tell your husband he needs to find the money for a housekeeper if he wants guests 24x7

Ultimately, he's being a mug, a generous one but is being taken for a ride and by totally taking you for granted, is destroying your marriage. Time for some plain speaking.

FIL should be arriving with a clear expectation that he is gone within 3 weeks and no more.

Move back to your original country. Leave DH to host...

You expect guests to supply toilet paper?! We had visitors when we lived abroad, they often brought home comforts with them and bought the odd meal out but we were generally happy to host them. When they came while dc was newborn I asked them to self cater breakfast, make drinks and buy the odd thing from local shops. Yanbu to expect dh help host rather than travel home, unless the guests are specifically visiting you and dd.

This "my husband plays his sport most of the time" is completely unacceptable while he leaves you to entertain and drive people around presumably.

Bugger that. I still resent my husband for inviting his parents over every year for 2-3 weeks when I was at home with the kids and then I had to entertain them. Since I went back to work full time and I'm not available to host none of them seem keen on arranging anything anymore... tbh I don't know whether it was the prospect of having to do some hosting that put DH off or whether it came from the inlaws, I suppose 3 home cooked meals a day is more attractive than me getting in from my work at half 5 and dumping a frozen shepherd's pie in the oven!

I'd be really hacked off in your place OP, specially if they're mostly guests from his side of the family and it's you that gets all the work to do. How are you finding it otherwise? How's your DD? Did you see yourself at this point in your life living far from your family and friends in some random place and running a B&B for your inlaws? - Sorry, that's perhaps a bit of a jaded way of looking at it, I've been away from the UK for 10 years, hated leaving, still hate it now.

No one is holding a gun to your head and making you have visitors. Just tell them no. I live in Florida. I would have a revolving door of guests if I didn't put in limits. So I put on limits.