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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To deliberately inconvenience my colleagues?

164 replies

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:13

I spent a big chunk of last year covering a colleagues sick leave. I was going to be the least inconvenienced by it, so agreed to do it. It was supposed to only be for a couple of weeks, but he ended up being off for 7 months!

I was exhausted by the end of it, as I was juggling my own work, and it also involved a change in hours (earlier start).

Anyway, he came back and things went back to normal.

He's now scheduled to be off for a long weekend tomorrow, and I'm 99% certain nobody has arranged cover for it. I suspect it's just assumed I'll be doing it.

WIBU to just go in at my normal time tomorrow ready for my working day? It means my nightshift colleague will need to stay behind for 1hr until I come in. He'll get paid for it, but I feel a bit bad because I used to work nights too and I know how tired he will be!

OP posts:
2025willbemytime · 16/01/2025 20:14

Or speak to your boss and explain the situation, like an adult.

MandSCrisps · 16/01/2025 20:15

managers are paid for this, why haven’t they picked it up? I assume they approved the holiday?

Catza · 16/01/2025 20:16

Unless you are his manager, it's not up to you to provide cover. Whoever stays behind an extra hour can complain to the management and if they come to you, you tell them you haven't been informed of alternative arrangements for your own shifts. This is the only way to make sure next time things are organized properly.

Iwishiwasapolarbear · 16/01/2025 20:16

If no managers have told you to come in early then don’t

Pieandchips999 · 16/01/2025 20:17

Hopefully cover has already been arranged it you as if you need to do it you should have been asked. You may be worrying about nothing. Come in when you are contracted to. If you want to be helpful you could casually check who you'll be taking over from in the morning as you know they'll be cover in. Then act very surprised they automatically thought you'd do it and make a thing of seeing if you can juggle your other arrangements to come in at short notice

Hollowvoice · 16/01/2025 20:18

Iwishiwasapolarbear · 16/01/2025 20:16

If no managers have told you to come in early then don’t

This

Mollysay · 16/01/2025 20:19

Just go in at your normal time.

Rachmorr57 · 16/01/2025 20:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:24

2025willbemytime · 16/01/2025 20:14

Or speak to your boss and explain the situation, like an adult.

I spoke to my boss, my boss's boss, and my HR Manager towards the end of my colleagues sick leave, and told them how exhausted I was. They all said it's not my responsibility to cover my colleague.

It's more a moral dilemma than a work dilemma.

OP posts:
MissDeborah · 16/01/2025 20:29

They all said it's not my responsibility to cover my colleague
That's your answer
It's not your responsibility and no one has informed you that you are required to do this
End of

MissMoneyFairy · 16/01/2025 20:35

Have you asked if anyone would like you to go in an hour early or have you been asked, if you feel it's not covered you should have spoken up earlier

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:37

MissMoneyFairy · 16/01/2025 20:35

Have you asked if anyone would like you to go in an hour early or have you been asked, if you feel it's not covered you should have spoken up earlier

Nobody has asked me, and I deliberately haven't offered.

OP posts:
littlefireseverywhere · 16/01/2025 20:38

So don’t, do your hours and prioritise you.

MiniCooperLover · 16/01/2025 20:40

So no one has asked you to cover, your colleague has approved leave and you don't know that they expect you to cover? It sounds like you are over thinking. Do your normal hours.

TheseCalmSeas · 16/01/2025 20:44

I think you’re over thinking. No one has asked you to do it and even the HR department has said it’s not your responsibility.

Sounds a bit like your work/life balance is not of kilter. Maybe a bit burnt out from all that covering. Put yourself first

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:45

MiniCooperLover · 16/01/2025 20:40

So no one has asked you to cover, your colleague has approved leave and you don't know that they expect you to cover? It sounds like you are over thinking. Do your normal hours.

I maybe am overthinking. I've worked there a long time though, and I know how lazy/complacent that department is Grin

OP posts:
pizzaHeart · 16/01/2025 20:45

I don’t understand why shouldn’t you stick to your normal hours tomorrow? It’s a genuine question.

DUsername · 16/01/2025 20:45

MiniCooperLover · 16/01/2025 20:40

So no one has asked you to cover, your colleague has approved leave and you don't know that they expect you to cover? It sounds like you are over thinking. Do your normal hours.

I agree. I don't really understand why you are so sure nobody has sorted out cover for him?

NC10125 · 16/01/2025 20:46

Not only would I not go in early, I would also make sure that I had a convenient reason why I wasn't free for that extra hour if someone asks for Monday.

Sorry, I can't, I walk my neighbors dog in the mornings now. Sorry, I can't, I've started doing pilates and I just can't make that time etc.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 16/01/2025 20:46

nobody has asked you to do anything, so don't do anything. Just go in at your normal time.

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

pizzaHeart · 16/01/2025 20:45

I don’t understand why shouldn’t you stick to your normal hours tomorrow? It’s a genuine question.

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

OP posts:
Brefugee · 16/01/2025 20:49

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:24

I spoke to my boss, my boss's boss, and my HR Manager towards the end of my colleagues sick leave, and told them how exhausted I was. They all said it's not my responsibility to cover my colleague.

It's more a moral dilemma than a work dilemma.

not a moral dilemma.
Where i work, and where i have worked in the past, you don't get a day off unless your cover is arranged by you. As in: you apply for a day off in the system, the cover agrees, then the manager approves. No cover, no manager approval.

As long as he hasn't approached you, and as long as you haven't pre-agreed to be his cover, his absence is nothing to do with you.

Brefugee · 16/01/2025 20:50

NC10125 · 16/01/2025 20:46

Not only would I not go in early, I would also make sure that I had a convenient reason why I wasn't free for that extra hour if someone asks for Monday.

Sorry, I can't, I walk my neighbors dog in the mornings now. Sorry, I can't, I've started doing pilates and I just can't make that time etc.

nope. People need to learn to say "no" like an adult and not invent silly excuses/reasons.

"can you come in early?"
"no"

That is it.

Catza · 16/01/2025 20:52

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

In case of what??! You've been told by multiple management that it is not your responsibility to provide cover. You still keep sticking your nose in. This is quite an extraordinary level of insubordination. You basically are calling your department useless on here and acting as though you are the only person who keeps the organisation together. It's not about doing what is morally right. You are that employee who worked for organisation 30+ years and thinks they know best despite having a relatively low grade positions, aren't you?

MissDeborah · 16/01/2025 20:52

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

This is how you end up exhausted Op
It's not your responsibility

It's the managers responsibility to arrange this
Stepping up all the time means you are undermining their authority.
You have said you have spoken up, they told you it's not your responsibility so listen and go in at your usual time
I'm going to say it -people who do this step up , then moan about it are really annoying !

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