Really really worried about this appointment

[reallyupset1]

Hi, just wondering if someone can help or offer some advice as I’m worried sick about this

I was in hospital recently for a totally unrelated physical problem. It was picked up that I had low potassium- I’ve had this on and off in the past as I have IBS. My default setting seems to be diarrhoea - if I’m stressed? Diarrhoea. Tired? Diarrhoea. Eat a different type of food? You guessed, diarrhoea. I’ve had camera tests both up and down and it’s all normal. I’m just prone to diarrhoea I’ve had it for years and I’m used to it flaring up and down. I take antidiorrheals whenever I need to. Until that episode it had actually been fine for a while

when I was in hospital they thought the low potassium would be worsening the other issue I was in with. The consultant asked if I had an eating problem/disorder because apparently I was too skinny and the fact I had low potassium and was a young ish female (20s) is a red flag.The thing is, I completely understand they have to ask because obviously they have to help people. And the consultant was lovely. But I absolutely do NOT have an eating problem. I reassured her of this and she was happy with this and we agreed I would manage my lifestyle better so I’m not stressed as often and so the low potassium doesn’t affect the other problem. Fine, all sorted.

except she actually then referred me to the mental health team for low mood and an eating disorder. I have neither. And I told her that and I completely declined getting referred because there is absolutely nothing wrong with me

i understand some people will be in denial about having a problem but honestly, I don’t. I don’t give a crap about calories, I don’t watch what I eat. I just eat whatever I want when I want it. It’s a running joke in my friend group that I have the biggest appetite out of everyone and when I was younger my parents used to call me a human hoover because honestly I would eat and eat and eat. With out family genetics we’ve always been slim- I’d guess every female in the family probably has a similar bmi to me because we’re all similar build. And my BMI isn’t even underweight!! It’s 20.5 Low end of normal but still normal. It’s just my build. On top of that I was a competitive athlete for a long time too so that kept me slim too and I play sports regularly and go running. I’ve just always had a spindly type of build like the rest of my family

I told the doctor this and reassured her that I did not have an eating problem and that the low potassium was from the IBS. I thought we had agreed I would deal with my stress to cut down on the IBS attacks but I never, ever gave consent to be referred to the mental health team. In fact I declined it as I don’t have an eating disorder ffs.

but I received a letter a few weeks later (it seemed to be correspondence between the mental health team and the hospital but me and my gp were added into it) saying that they had received my referral but I basically didn’t seem to have any need to see them and they were a bit confused. I was annoyed I had been referred without my permission although just left it because the mental health team seemed to be discharging me and they seemed as confused as me

anyway, today I received a call from my GP surgery to book an appt to discuss it with them. I’m not really sure why this has happened now because this all happened months ago

sounds really silly but I’m just so worried for that appointment. I don’t have an eating problem - I eat like a fucking horse! But they said I have too low a BMI and the fact I’m a young female so that’s why they suspect I do have eating problems but I honestly, honestly don’t. But I don’t know how to persuade them or get them to believe me about this because I can’t prove a negative. it understand the consultant was only trying to help but I never gave permission to be referred and this has opened a huge can of worms now. And I’m worried whenever the original unrelated condition kicks off it’ll just get blamed on my mental health when it’s literally fine!

sorry bit of a random one but I’m just a bit worried and frazzled with it all. And I can’t help but feeling like if I was a guy then this wouldnt be happening. I could understand their concern if my BMI was really low but it’s normal! And I’ve had multiple appts for frequent diarrhoea when it was getting investigated and diagnosed as IBS so they are aware of that’

sorry, really long rant I know, but does anyone have any advice or tips? I just want them to believe me that I’m fine so this can all get dropped once and for all and I’m really annoyed I was referred in the first place against my permission

Take someone with you to the appointment, someone you trust.

Say that you do not feel you are being listened to and that you are actually quite angry because you do not have an eating disorder but are being disbelieved.

However, I think you should focus on addressing the IBS so perhaps ask for more support with that.

I would take a formal letter in too asking it to be removed from your notes otherwise you will have to declare eating disorders/mental health on your insurance.

Oh gosh OP, this has brought back memories from my early 20s.

Like you and your family, I'm just v small in build, and had IBS symptoms and anxiety. A GP at the surgery I registered with at university decided I must have an eating disorder, and tried to refer me for a consultation about a 'weight increasing diet'. I felt so stuck - if I protested about the 'weight increasing diet' it would sound as though I wanted to stay skinny, which absolutely wasn't the point. Like you, I just wanted the actual problems I had addressing.

I agree about taking someone who you trust with you, and (I know this is much harder now than 20 yrs ago) it's much easier if you can. find a GP who you feel comfortable with too. My boyfriend's mum (now my MIL) was a huge support as she lived in my uni town, as was my best friend.

I'm sorry you're having this challenge - good luck.

Take someone with you. Ask to record the audio of your appointment for evidence.
Write yourself a script to read so you stay composed and say everything you need to say. If you’re asking for actions to happen, set a date you expect them to happen by.
If they are worried about your stats and results from tests, then they need to help you work out the answers, and bloody believe you that it’s not an eating disorder so they can spend their time actually working on the true issue.
good luck

I'd go fucking mad.

In reality, I'd take someone with you and say that they're there to make some notes and ensure you're not being actually gaslighted here

I'd write a letter to the practice and ask for written confirmation that this referral had been removed with the explanation for why being that THEY fucked up

I'd then ask for the focus to be where you need it to be - your digestive system

Thanks for the advice. Honestly I could cry I’m just so worried and frustrated about it all!

I’ve also no idea why I’ve suddenly got to have a GP appointment for it, I received the correspondence several months ago (the letter from mental health services back to the doctor at hospital who initially referred me) saying that they didn’t have enough info for why I needed to be seen by them, and my GP received this same letter back then too, so I’ve no idea why I’ve suddenly got an appointment with the GP now for it. Unless possibly the original doctor who referred me then wrote to the GP and asked them to see me since mental health weren’t seeing me? No idea but I’m really frustrated about it all because I specifically said no to being referred because I DONT need it. Then they went behind my back and referred me anyway

What doesn’t exactly help my case is that as a teenager I had a angsty phase due to some bad family circumstances- I felt a bit low, took myself to the GP, waited ages for a Cahms appt, they saw me once for an initial appt, advised counselling would be good but then I ended up on such a long waiting list and never ended up being seen. I was never diagnosed with anything nor treated for anything, I was discharged eventually because I turned 18 whilst waiting for counselling and I never needed any other mental health help. I turned 18, moved on from my family and immediately my life was fine. I didn’t have mental health problems just a bad situation. Since then I worked in a job where the GP had to provide info about my health and they wrote me a letter saying I was fine mental health wise, had no issues apart from a teenage blip basically and needed no treatment or diagnosis etc. I just had 1 initial appt but nothing else. but that was brought up that I’d ’previously been under mental health services’ when realistically I barely had!

just feel as if I’m being made out to be concerningly thin and anorexic when I’m literally not. My BMI is normal, I have no issues with food and there’s nothing to suggest I have eating problems but it’s like they’ve decided I do and now I can’t shake it off!

This kind of stuff happens so often relax go the appointment good idea to take someone with you, the problem at the moment with the NHS is that they have limited knowledge ability and most GPs have no idea how to refer to the correct specialist. The easy route is mental health or physiotherapy. It’s totally bonkers breathe relax work through the system get some support from a friend too.
you know your body,
suspect it’s their routine route for ibs
I have it to , and it’s worse when stressed but also triggerd by certain foods
good luck op

I’m very slightly built too. I’m 5’6” and weigh 52kg. I have lost count of the amount of times I have accused of having an eating disorder. On here too! I just have a very slight frame, don’t build muscle easily and exercise hard because I’m very fit. I run a 10km in 40 mins, I do Hyrox, I box… I also eat like a fucking horse (and can drink like a docker). It’s so infuriating because when you deny it, people seem to think that it’s you covering up.

The NHS is not the only ones who’ve lost sight of what a healthy body looks like or seems.

Keep things in writing, don't go to this appointment, put an official complaint against all of these who lie

Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately it’s a phone appointment so can’t take anyone with me. I just feel so fed up and frustrated about it all x

You don’t have to accept a phone appointment. They are the ones raising an issue so ring and say that you are unhappy with what is going on and you will only discuss it face to face and will be bringing someone with you. They will agree and if they give you any difficulty ask to speak to the practice manager and ask for a copy of the complaints procedure.

Hi sorry I'm following this but weRe you on anti depressants whilst this happened ??