To think it’s not surprising, in the circumstances, that I broke off with my old school friends?

[CryJustALittleBit]

I broke off with my old school friends because I no longer enjoyed our meet ups, and I felt I was being used as a social ‘prop’ a bit at events such as birthday parties and weddings to ensure that one friend in particular wouldn’t be on her ‘own’, if you see what I mean - I feel I was being used as a social crutch.

i started making excuses not to go to social events, be it cinema outings, one was a wedding - so quite major, hen do, New Years Eve celebration, long planned ‘picnic’ with all school friends there etc.

When I think about it though, I went to primary school with these girls and even when I was 10, I can remember distinctly thinking at a birthday party of one of the girls that these girls weren’t my tribe. Nothing bad had even happened at the birthday party itself just an inner thought I had. I used to think they were a bit uncool and unworldly I suppose even at 10, even though those words weren’t part of my vocabulary at that time!

I was only friendly with them during teenage years because of pressure from my mum.

At age 25 one of the group was still desperate to be accepted by the popular boys in our year that we’d been to school with (I kid you not!!), one of them was like “shall we get our parents to pick us up” e.g from an event we’d been to - aged 25!!! They all still lived at home with their parents at this age. A girl in our school year had got married, and one of the girls saiid “oooh I can’t imagine doing anything ‘grown up!!’” - she was 25.!! All the ‘girls’ in question were 25, for context.

AIBU to think it’s unsurprising that I’ve extricated myself from the group seeing I was sick of them aged 10? I mean is it normal for 10 year old girls to get bored at birthday parties ?

I think such introspection is unusual and a bit self-absorbed. People grow apart and mature, it's not unusual or special. Have you got much else going on your life?

no - not much going on admittedly atm

thanks for taking time to comment though as I welcome all opinions! I think you’ve got a very good point

No longer liking someone and looking at a friendship through a different lens can sometimes smack you in the face, yeah definitely, I get you.

Yes agree with this.

People change as they get older and you all probably have little in common with them and them you. I don’t think it necessarily that deep, not everyone will get on with you, it’s just life. Sounds like you have a bit of main character syndrome with all that thinking time.

@CryJustALittleBit

I remember having exactly the same thoughts at school and making my mind up that I was going to get out no matter what!!

About 20 years later I went back for a wedding and literally nothing had changed. No one had really matured and same old social hierarchy was in place. It was a bit sad really. It felt like such a waste of time. It wasn't like they were actually happy just stuck in a loop that was set back in school. Very suffocating.

You'll probably get loads of posters telling you that you're judgemental but honestly sometimes we need to use our judgement to get us off the wrong path in life. So don't feel bad just be glad you had the epiphany and the will to see it through!

I honestly never looked back

Do you have other friends? Real friends not acquaintances or situational friends? If you don't need them fair enough as it doesn't sound like you fit in with them but don't leave yourself bereft of friends as that will probably feel much worse after a few years

Yes suffocating is spot on !!

I agree with you in a lot of circumstances, but I dont think it's particularly self absorbed to try and look back and think more about how you felt at certain times in your life? Isn't that how we learn and grow?

One or two but admittedly not many !