Stranger asking personal questions

[Cherryupandblossom]

Was speaking to another mum I've never met before at a group and she was asking loads of questions, child's birthday month and day and age, what child's school, childs name, family mum dad how many brothers sisters, where i worked, where i was born, where my partner works, etc etc

Just felt it was alot, I answered the questions to be friendly but I didn't know how to stop the personal questions or what to say. I prefer to keep things private to protect my children and myself etc

How do i manage a situation like this next time? And avoid giving out my personal information? Would you be ok with this?

AIBU yes - this is normal chat w strangers/meeting people
Not AIBU - too much info or too soon

Next time, make out your child needs you and just walk away. I do this a lot 😂

Next time, just make shit up. Could also be quite fun

Cheeky answer that helps in these situations "oh, I prefer to keep it a little mystery" in a lighthearted tone.

Is she from
The uk ? Is completely normal to ask these questions when u first meet someone where i am from! For example what do you do how many siblings etc i know is not the norm here. I now know not to ask people what they do for a job as apparently is personal here 🤣 i speak to one mum everyday for the last 3 years still have no idea what she does

Get in quick, ask the same question back and then an extra one. How old was your son when you weaned him? Do you find the grandparents are as involved as you'd like them to be? How long did it take your pelvic floor to recover after the birth? They'll either stop or be too busy answering to ask you anything else.

I may be wrong but it feels like the poor woman was desperately trying to get a conversation going but was maybe just getting short answers?!

Interesting, sounds quite typical of the questions I have been asked at baby and toddler groups. I’ve never found it worrisome personally and met some good friends mainly on the basis of our shared ability to simultaneously of toddler wrangle whilst comparing our childhood traumas! I clearly gravitate toward the heart on your sleeve type.

Did she reveal as much personal stuff about her as she was asking you? Or did it feel like she was just gleaning information from you?

I had a friend who would ask really direct and intrusive questions and I found it hard to deflect. It always felt like she was compiling an information dossier. Then I realised she would share really personal stuff about her that I wouldn't have been comfortable doing so it was just her style. In the end I just felt we weren't compatible, personality-wise.

I think it’s normal to ask child’s age and what area etc, this is polite convo to see what you have in common and get to know each other. Asking where your husband works when you have first met is a bit invasive. People often ask me what my husband does for a living too.

I love some of these responses (i like to keep a little mystery is fab!)! And the one that explains how to expand on a question like the summer > wedding, I now notice it in conversations, it's amazing! And a few other responses were brilliant thank you

Me and my friends/people i know well are open too but it was full on for the first time meeting someone i didnt know, and alot of detail for an hours chat! I hadn't listed all the questions as I felt a bit blank after and remembered more after the post like do I drive etc

I would have been happy talking about the class or holidays, although I also wanted to just sit and watch my child see how they were getting on and spend time with my younger one who i take everywhere and was with me, maybe i needed a bit peace/ focus/ quality child time as am always on the go from wake up to sleep? I think i need stops in conversation for a chance to just sit and breathe and think, maybe it's a me thing as am a bit overwhelmed at the minute (anyone else?)

I do think it was probably OK and she was maybe just curious and inquisitive but had caught me out on a day where I wasn't prepared for it, I sometimes do the toilet trick but I was so spent I couldn't think and my child wanted me to see them doing the class so I stayed put i suppose, my own fault not hers..

However I do have a habit of just answering questions I don't feel comfortable with especially without a way out (like waiting somewhere) so am thankful for these responses!!

it was an age 5+ class so not a toddler group for those wondering

If it gets too much then after question 3 start rambling so
"So little Jonny was born on the 16th of the month, funny thing was that his due date was actually the same day as my friend so we thought we'd have matching birthdays but then she went into labour early. Now her older child was 2 weeks late so we never thought the next one would be early, but it was. She didn't go to hospital that I went to as she was going private. Have you seen the cost of private births, I mean it sounds lovely with your own room and all that but omg it's so much. Would you ever go private for healthcare?"

This way the ramble finishes on a different topic and so it will seem odd for her to bring back the conversation to birthdays etc