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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Insurance issue: car damaged

11 replies

Craquedechevalier · 16/01/2025 15:27

We went to stay with relatives over Christmas and left the car parked outside their house. They live in a close, there is no through traffic and loads of space for parking in this way. When I went out to load the car on the 27th I found a note on the windscreen apologising for the damage to one of my front lights, offering just a first name, Dan, and a phone number. The plastic visor was smashed and the front bumper was. very slightly misaligned. My BIL looked at the damage and worked out that it was likely to have been done by someone reversing out of one of two drives belonging to their neighbours.

I phoned the number on the note and Dan turned out to be a youngish, polite guy who said he wanted to pay for the repair work to be done privately. After nearly 30 years without an insurance claim I was hit in a car park last year by an unknown driver and despite it not being my fault my insurance has increased by 50%, so I agreed to that. I asked him to send me a What's App message stating what we'd agreed and that that once I had that I'd get a couple of quotes for repairs.

The light was still fully functional, just missing the glass, so I set off and all was well. The car was due to for MOT on 4 January and I couldn't find anyone to fix the lamp before then, so it failed its MOT, meaning that I couldn't drive it in the meantime because I wouldn't be insured. I kept Dan updated of all this on WA and had a few thumbs-up responses but nothing more. No 'I'm sorry this is turning out to be so complicated' or anything. My local garage gave me a price that undercut the main dealer by £150. They gave me a written estimate on 7 Jan which I sent to Dan, asking him to confirm and pay me before I had the work done. He didn't respond for three days: apparently he was on holiday in Portugal. He said he couldn't transfer the money while he was away.

That response came through on 10 January, which was the day I got my car back, fixed, having decided to pay the bill myself rather than hang around any longer. I took a photo of the repair and sent it to him with the final invoice and a message saying 'Please let me know when you'll be back and when you'll pay.' I heard nothing until a message came in at 2.30am this morning with a single word: 'Paid'. I've checked and yes, he's paid. But nothing to thank me for my understanding or regret at the fact that my car was out of action for more than a week, or that he did nothing to speed things up.

AIBU to think that when you've had an accident like this, and the person on the other end has been totally reasonable about it and saved you hours of hassle and expense, you treat them with a little more courtesy?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 16/01/2025 15:29

I think you were bloody lucky Paul/Dan actually paid

Craquedechevalier · 16/01/2025 15:34

Hoppinggreen · 16/01/2025 15:29

I think you were bloody lucky Paul/Dan actually paid

Really? Even though my BIL talked to the neighbours and worked out who he is and the registration of his car, which shows up on another neighbour's Ring doorbell?

I think he only wrote the note because he suspected the accident was on someone's doorbell or CCTV and that if I'd taken it to the insurance company and he'd done a runner it would be worse for him.

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 16/01/2025 15:37

In a perfect world yes he should have been more polite and grateful. On the plus side he did pay for the damage so .....

CatsorDogsrule · 16/01/2025 15:39

You should have reported it to your insurers in any event, it will be in the terms that you agreed to.

I also am pretty surprised that he paid and agree that you are lucky. The MOT business was all on you for avoiding your duty to report to your insurer.

Hoppinggreen · 16/01/2025 15:39

Craquedechevalier · 16/01/2025 15:34

Really? Even though my BIL talked to the neighbours and worked out who he is and the registration of his car, which shows up on another neighbour's Ring doorbell?

I think he only wrote the note because he suspected the accident was on someone's doorbell or CCTV and that if I'd taken it to the insurance company and he'd done a runner it would be worse for him.

Yes, once you go outside the Insurance you are relying on the goodwill of the person involved.
If he had told you to bugger off what would you have done?
I am not saying he shouldn't have paid but some people might have tried to wriggle out of it

FarmGirl78 · 16/01/2025 15:52

I'm stunned he actually paid too. Your gamble paid off.

Clairey1986 · 16/01/2025 16:02

I think you’re lucky that he did pay up. The timing of your MOT is nothing to do with him. Ultimately if it had gone through insurance you’d have been put out A LOT more.

Move on.

caramac04 · 16/01/2025 16:52

A work colleague hit my car in the car park. Owned up immediately but thought the £250 for repairing 2 panels was too expensive and wanted to find a cheaper quote. My quote was from a relative so not overpriced.
For me and dh, there was the delivering to and collecting from workshop plus the few days I was carless my dh had to take me to work and pick me up which doubled our mileage.
Colleague paid cash but frequently bemoaned how much it was - she couldn’t get it done cheaper - and that it was part of her spending money for a foreign holiday.
I was a TA and she was a HoD. No foreign holiday for me.
I did think a bunch of flowers or a bottle of cheap wine wouldn’t have gone amiss

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 16/01/2025 17:02

You only agreed to go outside of your insurance cover to suit yourself and keep your own, future, costs down. Hardly his fault your chosen garage was too busy to compete the work. And he paid in a perfectly timely manner. And yet you also expect some grovelling? The ‘he only left a note so he didn’t get caught’ addition is ridiculous. Pfft.

Jabbabong · 16/01/2025 17:21

What the feck are you moaning about? He left a note and paid the price without any complaints.

Theraffarian · 16/01/2025 17:22

You have a legal duty to report any accident to your insurance company, as you agreed not to , then I also think you were very lucky he paid you . However if you had of gone through your insurance if you have decent cover , I presume you would have got a courtesy car while the car was in the garage too , so you wouldn’t have been without a car . My headlights ( really not a fancy car ) cost £1k each to replace so I would have been dealing with the insurance company , not hoping a stranger would stick to his word . Also good on him for leaving his details , our local Facebook page is full of hit and run car bumps .

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