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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Buying a house or staying put?

1 reply

BoldDenimStork · 16/01/2025 13:46

Me and my partner have been talking about buying seriously for 6 months. Neither of us are particularly enjoying our jobs, but his is definitely more stressful than mine. Today, he got offered a job he really wants, but it's on a 2 year fixed term contract. I obviously really want him to pursue his dreams but I'm finding it hard to know what to do because I feel it's a compromise one too dar. I've lived in London for him for around 3 years now, and I'm really ready to move but he isn't. So I said as a compromise, we can stay but only if we use my money I've saved to put a deposit down and buy a flat. As a result and despite being unhappy in my job, I've stayed put until we have a flat finalised as thats my most important goal in the short term. However, this mortgage is being compromised because my partner has just been offered a job he really wants on a 2 year fixed term contract. I can't explain how ready I am to buy somewhere, it's literally everything I've wanted for the last 2 years and I can't cope with the idea being in London stuck in high tents for another 2 years because my partner has a job he really wants. I love my partner so much but I feel like I've put my life in hold for him and this is another instance where I would have to do it again and I'm closing in on 30. AIBU? What should I do?

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 16/01/2025 15:23

He's telling you what's more important, his job or your relationship. Listen to him.

Has he suggested moving and commuting, working from home? anything that enables your wants to be satisfied as well as his. Or is it one sided?

Tells you where his priorities are. If your priorities don't marry up, then is the relationship one you want to put your effort into?

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