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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Driving lesson no progression!

13 replies

Ihavenoclue22 · 15/01/2025 15:33

I have been doing my lessons for over 1 year...it is costly and my test date is looming! I’m still hesitant and making silly mistakes, I’m OK with going up and down gears so manual isn’t an issue it’s not until I’m at junctions etc. I'm very delayed in dropping my gears or leaving it to the last minute, or driving a little over or under the speed limit. I don’t have any family or friends who can take me put for extra time on the road so have to make do with the 2 hrs a week I get, I feel like the 1st half of my lesson is OK but nearer the end my consideration dips and I make silly errors, I don’t feel like my driving instructor can really do anymore to help other then tell me what i've done wrong and feel this is something I need to do myself as its my inability after a while to focus... I'm starting to feel very deflated about the whole situation and dreading my lessons every week I've spent alot on lessons and don't know what I should do...any advice would be appreciated as I'm starting to feel very overwhelmed by it all!

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ForkMeImToast · 15/01/2025 15:35

Is it possible to have two one hour lessons a week instead? My instructor refused, which annoyed me, but others are happy to do so!

LionRumpus · 15/01/2025 15:46

It's not surprising you're finding it hard if your lessons are two hours long. When learning, people can only take in so much information at one time and they can only concentrate intensely for so long either.

You have obviously been making progress if you're comfortable with the gears and it's just little mistakes now. It sounds like you know how to drive basically and you're now finessing it - which takes time and practice.

I recommend cutting or splitting the lesson time down. Or spending some of your lesson just pootling with the instructor to guide you. A lot of it is just repeating the same motions over and over again so you have muscle memory. It'll come. You're not the first person to think they'll never learn it - I had plenty of mini breakdowns myself - but you will.

Ihavenoclue22 · 15/01/2025 16:14

Yeah this will have been the 3rd time I'll have changed or not been allowed to do my test I feel like I might be OK in my actual test because I won't be relying on my instructor and its only 40 minutes...I'm getting to the point now where after 1 year I'm totting up how much its already cost and don't want to really prolong it by another potentially 3 months

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GasPanic · 15/01/2025 16:26

3rd time you have changed instructor ?

If an instructor won't change the lesson format maybe change instructor. And if you have issues concentrating there are two things you can do. One is go to a specialist instructor who deals with people who have these sorts of issues and other problems. They may cost more per lesson but will cost less in the end because you will actually pass with them.

The second is maybe make the test easier by going for an auto gearbox car.

Ihavenoclue22 · 15/01/2025 16:38

3rd time my test has been changed/put back! I do feel like more consistent time on the road is what I need but the cost of lessons is just too much to do anymore in 1 week

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GasPanic · 15/01/2025 17:38

Ihavenoclue22 · 15/01/2025 16:38

3rd time my test has been changed/put back! I do feel like more consistent time on the road is what I need but the cost of lessons is just too much to do anymore in 1 week

Not really sure why your test should be cancelled/put back.

I suppose at the end of the day it is your driving instructors car and they can refuse to let you use it for the test. I don't know if they get some sort of reprimand from the test facility if they actually submit someone who is "highly unsuitable" to be in for a test.

So either one of two things IMO. Either a) you are not progressing. In which case you need to do something different in terms of maybe car type or instruction or b) you are progressing and are ready to take a test but the instructor is holding you back.

a) is more likely than b), although I have received instruction in the past where the instructor was demanding I had more lessons even though I was actually happy (refresher instruction). Fortunately I already had the licence so just ignored them.

But to me whether the reason is a) or b) the action should be the same.

OOlivePenderghast · 15/01/2025 17:42

I was having two hour lessons with my driving instructor and they didn’t want to do shorter because i lived quite far from the test location. I changed instructors and found it much better. I think the old instructor had slightly given up on me. The new instructor didn’t have those preconceptions and assumed I would pass. Could you do an intensive course with someone else before your test ?

SnoopysHoose · 15/01/2025 17:56

My DS passed last year and his lessons were 90mins, the instructor said 1 hour is a bit quick and 2 hrs people get bored, so he had found 90 mins the best.
A year of lessons, so roughly 100 driving hours, what is the instructors pass rate? I'd be concerned something is amiss with the teaching if you're still not ready, that's triple the average hours for. a learner.

Ihavenoclue22 · 15/01/2025 18:26

I had a different instructor before this one and he wasn't the best, he really chipped away at my confidence so when I swapped to this new one they were a breath of fresh air I do feel like he is getting flustrated with me now because I keep making minor silly errors which I do put down to concentration, I feel like I would like to do my test and could possibly pass as I do feel like I maybe dont worry as much knowing my instructor will prompt me etc, which I know won't happen in my exam if that makes sense... i think he can put me in but wont want to take the risk of me even remotely failing as it will put a red mark on his recornI only have 1 month for my test so finding an instructor at short notice won't be doable

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SnoopysHoose · 15/01/2025 18:49

It's your instructors stopping you from testing to protect his pass mark?
Make sure you don't cancel this one. Sounds like he's draining every penny out of you.
Do you have anyone who could hire a dual control car with you? I've done this with my DD.

Ihavenoclue22 · 15/01/2025 19:24

I've just had a look online and thie could be an option, so if he doesn't feel I'm ready I could do this thank you for the suggestion I think that even if I do the test and fail I'll gain a better understanding of what the test entials and how bad i actually am or am not.

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WrigglyDonCat · 15/01/2025 19:49

From the little you have written about what causes you issues, my professional brain says you have a little speed on approach problem. You say you change gears last minute at junctions, but that's worth exploring a little - do you mean last minute or in the last car length or two.

What I am getting at is that distance and time are not equal when approaching junctions etc.

So if you are a car length (about 5m) away and doing 4mph, that only gives you about 2.5 seconds to change gear, but while you are looking, positioning etc. That's really tough for a learner.

But if you are a car length away doing 1mph, you've got around 10 seconds, and that difference in terms of mental processing and getting everything done is massive.

You normally should be changing gears close to the junction - that's considered best practice - but what you need is the time close to the junction to achieve everything you need, but you are in charge of the car's speed, so you can literally make the time you need. You can be a Timelord, so budge over Dr Who, your car is your Tardis.

The difference in speed use in the example above is really difficult to notice as an inexperienced driver, and you are probably instinctively trying the match other cars around you and your experience of being driven by others. But they are cheating - they have a big bucket of car control experience to call on.

Ihavenoclue22 · 15/01/2025 19:58

Yeah most the time I'm reducing my gears from 3rd to 2nd on approach and then looking right to establish if I'm breaking or going into 1st or continuing round I'm just sometime forgetful and make a few mistakes which I'm unsure if they are minors or serious...I'm abit lacks and I've been told I have no sense of urgency when doing things but I feel like that's just my brain processing the information I've been given I think they want me to make choices earlier maybe? Or Instead of thinking too much about just make a choice ... I just feel abit disheartened by the whole thing if I'm being honest and the cost iof lessons isn't helping continuing its around a 12 week wait for test availability

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