Back from Mat leave and I’m a failure at work

[Dabrat21]

I’m 4 months back from Maternity leave with my second child and I just can’t seem to grasp things like I use to. My brain is slower to process information, I don’t ’get things’ straight away and this week I made a mistake that made me look like I don’t even know how to do my job. My boss spotted it and realised I was way off the mark with something. I feel humiliated and just rubbish. I can’t blame the lack of sleep as my children both sleep quite well. I’m starting to think I’m not actually cut out for this job as I’m not really that bright and it was pure luck that I got my current role, in the first place.

am I losing my intelligence or did I never have it to begin with..? Sorry this is more of a brain spill but any perspectives would be appreciated.

It’s really rough. I didn’t see how much my brain wasn’t functioning at work til my youngest turned 3. There was a massive improvement when they went to preschool and by the time they started reception I was a fully functioning employee again. You just have to ride it out - your body has been through something huge and your brain will never be the same again. Fact. There has been scientific research where brain scans have been taken and scientists can tell from these scans who has given birth in the last 7 years. Read ‘Matressence’ to give you reassurance what you’re going through is expected.

in the short term by kind to yourself and adapt your working ways. I found I needed lists a lot more. Including a reminder in my diary to check my list 🤦‍♀️

Give yourself time, it took me many months to get back into the swing of things after returning from mat leave.

Remember, after almost a year away, things will have changed and you will have fallen out of the habit of doing them so it will take some time to learn and adjust again. Plus let’s be honest, you haven’t really used your brain properly in this time!

You aren’t a failure - you will get there.

It takes ages to come back from an absence - maternity, sick, anything. Write a billion lists, treat it like a totally new job rather than expecting yourself to slot back in to something you know well. Refamiliarise yourself with processes even if you think you know them. And don’t beat yourself up

You’ve got lots of great advice! Treat it like a new job. Your brain has undergone massive changes. You will get back on it, just put in extra effort at this stage and things will fall into place.

Of course you're not losing your intelligence! I have no experience of pregnancy, much less trying to juggle work with two young children, but whilst you say you can't blame it on poor sleep, the stress of what you're experiencing at present is going to be much bigger than you think it is.

Be kinder to yourself. It's going to take time to get back into the swing of things.

Thank you all for your kind advice xx