To think getting married wouldn't have mattered.

[ThisPithyJoker]

Often on MN people are told not to consider getting pregnant without getting married first for financial security. I totally agree that if you're going to take a career break etc this is important. Likewise if you are going to earn significantly less or are bringing different things to the marriage (which is likely in a country with a gender pay gap).

I fell pregnant unexpectedly and we didn't marry. We make very similar amounts, brought little to the relationship and our house is owned as tenants in kind (both own half rather than joint own the property). We pay half of everything each and after maternity leave, I paid more into my pension (and less into the household) to make up the short fall there.

Am I being unreasonable to think it's possible to mitigate the risk of not being married and it's just a good general rule of thumb? Or am I missing something?

Thanks!

worked from home with her until she was 3 and got the 30 free childcare hours. It was tricky but I do a non-time sensitive job (similar to programming) so there was a lot of working in the evenings and during naps. I guess I would have tried to do that but perhaps work at the weekends when DP was home.
There is no way you could do this if you had a child with disability, believe me!
I went through DH's death last year and it definitely helped that we were married, I had POA but it's irrelevant following death. I got a bereavement payment and monthly payments for a year which are only for spouses or civil partners. I will get half of his state pension when I finally get my own state pension. Being married and/or being Executor of the Will mattered most. Only last week I was asked to send a copy of our marriage certificate to sort out a private pension payment.