To not understand why this happened with my ex

[Liveforhappiness]

So 6 months ago my ex and I split (my decision) the relationship was going nowhere and I wasn’t physically attracted to him anymore. He told me at the time that he liked this woman from work and I ended up begging for him back!!!! Obviously the relationship didn’t work again and now he is saying he likes her and taking the kids out with her? What the hell is going on here?

Because you didn't want him, but didn't want anyone else to have him either? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes but how could he tell me that he liked her just so I he could get me back and now it seems they are together?

So you split up with him and now he’s moved on… that’s what’s happening here. HTH

He says think like she is prettier than me and the sex is great 🙄

Good for him, you didn’t want him anyway. What is your point?

Well maybe he did like her, but liked you/family life more?

I just wouldn't worry about it, you don't want to be with him anyway

You didn't want him any more so he's moved on. That's a good thing. I can't see your issue.

You wanted him again when you thought he wanted someone else.

When you got him back you realised why you dumped him, so you dumped him again.

He got with her because a bird in the hand is worth more than two in the bush.

The question you need to ask yourself is why you begged back a man you broke up with as you weren't attracted to just because he showed interest in someone else.

Maybe he did like her but wanted to give things one last try with you. Maybe he made it up to make you jealous. But if so it worked.

That's the only thing you need to turn your mind to. Why did you beg him back once he'd gone. Not why is he with her that's irrelevant to you!

I don’t know. Why couldn’t I bare the thought of him being with somebody else but I didn’t want to be with him?

I don’t know why people feel this way after ending a relationship, but it’s not uncommon. It might be a bit of an ego bruising, that he seemed to be able to move on from you so quickly. Or it might have signalled a finality for you that you weren’t ready to face.

Either way, you need to close the door and move on. Whether he has subsequent relationships is nothing to do with the fact that yours ended for good reasons. He is entitled to move on and find happiness elsewhere, and you should be trying to do the same.

It has been 6 months and I am not ready. I still think about what they are upto etc. it’s making me think I do still love him even though I hated him whilst we were together

Oh well, it’s too late now, you did him a favour.

Why is he discussing his sex life with another woman with you? That's incredibly disrespectful towards both you and her. He sounds like he has no respect for either of you.

I wonder if you are feeling left behind. You ended the relationship, but he has managed to find someone new and settle into a new routine. It doesn't seem fair. I wonder if you had found someone else if you would be less bothered. You don't want him, but you don't like the fact he is winning.

You've had some harsh replies here.

(What does HTH mean?)

Why are you still talking to him if it's upsetting you so much? This all seems very childish.

If you had someone else you wouldn't be giving him a second thought - that's literally what it boils down to, and because you don't have someone else you're having a bit of a 'the grass is greener' syndrome because you've had a break for six months and can't remember exactly how you felt when it was all going wrong. You need to make more of a clean break here - he shouldn't be talking to you about any aspect of his new relationship and if he tries you need to shut that conversation down... if you even need to be talking to him at all at this point in time. You need to find other things to focus on - start of a new year is a great time to start a new hobby - throw yourself into things where you can distract yourself and meet new people... you never know, it might even lead to a new romance if you want one, in time. But for now you need to build strong boundaries and not waste any more time thinking about him.

Have you posted about this before? Because you write like the op of another similar thread

(Hope That Helps)

I agree with PP. You ended it, so you feel like he ‘should be’ more hurt.

Then you did the pick me dance when he said he liked someone else. Don’t do it a second time!

Lots of threads on here show that men can’t be alone and get with a new woman very quickly.

Are the kids you refer to hers or yours with him? If yours, that’s the only topic of conversation needed between you. If not, let him get on with it.

Thank you!

Yes. Not much I can do about it now is there. I’m sure I will get over it

You've posted this before, I think? Pretty much word for word.

Either way - you dumped him, then got jealous because he was with someone else, then you dumped him again. Stop acting like a spoilt baby and let him get on with his life, which he is completely entitled to do. Why on earth shouldn't he move on?

You don't love him, you're just jealous and selfish. Get a grip and move on.