Has anyone quit the rat race?

[Superwomann]

Would love to hear from anyone who has actually just moved off the grid/ stopped being part of the sick rat race!! How did you do it? Did you live your new life or wasn’t it what you thought?
Our situation; 2 full time working parents, 2 kids, primary and nursery and I hate this life: The stress every morning to get everything ready, the cooking, the cleaning, the tidying etc etc. Weekends full on with kids activities or seeing friends. Trying to get exercise in ( usually in the gym for 6am). We have no time as husband and wife. We have a cleaner but I still have to tidy, wash clothes, fold them, you know the drill.
The pressure of money, I want nice holidays and good quality food, furniture and clothes, so how can I work less and still enjoy some good things?!
Has anyone actually quit and just said it’s enough?! I can’t help but think if I moved back to my home country and stayed in a small village, life would just be simpler. We wouldn’t earn much money but I think people wouldn’t be as obsessed with materialistic things there and perhaps I wouldn’t care about it either.
On the other hand, does anyone actually enjoy this life as I described or at least it doesn’t bother you much?

I do! I only remember the good things, I glorify life there. My friends who still live there keep telling me it’s not like what it used to be like and they would stay away.
We always have a good time when we go home but then we are on holiday and don’t have any stress.

There is a massive difference between living in an affluent area and trying to keep up with neighbours etc and properly opting out.

E.g we absolutely do not have a brand new car, we don’t do big house renovations, we go on holiday mostly in the UK, we don’t eat out and get takeaways much. Our house is a bit on the shabby side with a kitchen updated last in the 90s which I had painted. But because of this my partner is semi-retired and I work very flexibly and I am able to take the kids to school every day, go to assemblies, go for a walk at lunchtime if I want to etc.

I wouldn’t say I’ve opted out though, just chosen not to maximise my earning potential over family life.

For me opting out any more would not work, I want my kids to attend lots of activities which costs money. I also want to know that if I do need a new car, the boiler breaks, I need to pay for medical treatment etc I can afford to get it sorted out. Not being financially stable can be as stressful as doing too much in some circumstances.

I’d suggest doing a really honest family budget and taking it from there. Definitely also think about relocating if that would make things easier. But don’t forget about retirement and how you’d intend to fund that too.

Sort of. DH and I moved to France in 2018. I freelance a few days a week (and earn more than I would do if I was working full time in the UK) so not completely out of the work rat race but I'm not a slave to the 8-late, Mon-Fri any more (and I get paid for every minute I work).

Your kids are really small – the stress isn't this high longterm. It's not best to make such drastic changes during this period of time.

I haven't quit the rat race per se, but I did go part time (4 days pw) before I had children so I could do some of my own things, went 3 days pw with child, and now have my own business so the only person I sweat blood and tears for is me. Engaging with the rat race on your terms carries with it a whole new set of motivations. Suddenly I find the type of work I do, and the high price tag that goes with it, very worthwhile. I estimate I work 70% less and earn 3x more

I think people who change their lives in this way need to ensure that they aren't limiting their children's options too drastically for education and work opportunities.

Its a nice idea but looking back through the telescope of being older and towards the end of my career, I am glad to have a mortgage free home and a decent pension pot which will give me options.

I have worked and paid alot of tax and will feel comfortable drawing on public services as I feel I have paid into the system.

The problem with opting out too early is that you are then another burden, rather than a contributor, if tou are using any public services.

I have done exactly the same!

@Superwomann

I do! I only remember the good things, I glorify life there. My friends who still live there keep telling me it’s not like what it used to be like and they would stay away.
We always have a good time when we go home but then we are on holiday and don’t have any stress.

Totally get you, I'm the same. I love England when the sun is out and I'm not working but happy not to be there come January!

I think I've got a romanticised view in my head of what life would be if I moved back, but it would probably be the same as where I am now, just colder 😂

Could you reduce your hours? Would that help?

I am working towards only working 4 days a week..

@Ilovemyshed

The problem with opting out too early is that you are then another burden, rather than a contributor, if tou are using any public services.

That's a bit harsh isn't it. Who said she isn't going to be contributing?

@iamnotalemon Yeah if we move back it could easily be exactly the same situation as now, just another country..
I have a lot of time off work already so cannot reduce my hours but those weeks are busier than when I’m working as I’m trying to fit everything in and take care of the youngest. I might have to start putting her in nursery when I’m off work to feel that I get space to breathe. I get the mum guilt though as I feel like she should be with me when I’m off work.