To feel so much mum guilt tonight

[cadburyegg]

I very rarely feel guilty for working. I'm divorced so my income is absolutely essential. But tonight my kids both got upset saying they want me to pick them up from school more and be around more basically.

Generally speaking the routine is
Mon- their dad does drop off and pick up
Tue - their dad does drop off and my mum picks up
Wed - I do drop off and my mum picks up
Thu - I do drop off and their dad picks up from after school club
Fri - I do drop off and either I pick up or their dad does

I wish I could pick them up more but I do think we have an ok balance. But the dc say they want to be at home more, they want me to be around more. They don't do many extra curriculars (their choice) - 2 each, including swimming.
Most of my mum friends work part time or not at all. So I guess I'm very selfishly looking for validation. Or even a hug or solution I haven't thought of. The dc usually just accept the way it is. I can't drop my hours and even if I could afford to my work wouldn't allow it anyway.

Oh dear, that really IS tricky OP! Sadly, I don't think there's an answer to this one, as you do need to earn money. Can I ask how old your children are? Also, have you been separated from their Dad for a long time?

How are your weekends?

It's so blooming hard OP, but you're doing what you need to do to support your family.
I'm always open with my DC about why I have to work and mostly they get it, but other days they're on me like limpets crying as I leave.
Just offering my thoughts and solidarity 💗

Thank you, they are coming up to age 10 and 7. Separated from their dad 4 years ago, December 2020

Pretty chilled when they are with me because I know they appreciate downtime. Last weekend was a good example - swimming lesson Saturday morning for the youngest, then the rest of the day at home. Sunday morning we went to a trampoline park for an hour then back home, my mum came over for dinner. They are at their dads this weekend, they don't do a lot there usually.

I think all you can do, based on your answers to my previous post, is to continue as you are, reminding them occasionally that Mummy has to work to pay for their home, their food, and all the things they need. It might not even go amiss to have a conversation about people who aren't lucky enough to have parents with a job, and talk about what would happen if you didn't have one, ie, living in a grotty B&B with lots of other people there all the time, etc. Obviously you would need to do this in an age specific way, so that they can really understand, but it might just bring it home to them how lucky they actually are. Just a thought, and only you know whether your children could cope with a conversation like that, but in general you're doing what you have to do OP, and they have to live with it. Life could obviously be a LOT worse!