Did I handle this correctly - school teacher

[Parentingrollercoaster25]

DC has quite severe complex difficulties and disabilities although cognitively able. One area that is very effected is their writing due to physical issues with hands ( right sided hemiplegia ) - they have a laptop for most long written work but does write when it’s for example work sheets with short answers.
they are pushing SATs prep HARD at the minute which has already caused quite a lot of anxiety.
DC has 2 teachers and they are very very different in their approaches.
Tonight they have been very upset and disregulated, their 1-1 had mentioned the incident that has caused the upset in class already - said DC had mentioned they were upset about it but that was ok and managed emotions.
this evening was awful, a lot of tears a lot of trying to calm them down.
whey had happened was that teacher 1 is very strict and is abrupt in his response to children not being able to do things they should be able to do. They were doing a grammar test of some kind and he was talking about their handwriting and was shouting that if they wrote like this whilst giving an example on the board of larger unequal messy writing then they are not ready for secondary school and they write like babies it’s not acceptable for their age.
so I know this was not aimed at DC personally and that will be what is said “ well we know why and it’s fine for them “ but in DC head although they know it was not aimed specially at them and the whole class that their handwriting makes them a baby regardless and that’s how people must perceive it then no matter the cause they are perceived as the ability of a baby.

I sat their pondering what to do, In the end I asked DC if there was a member of staff they felt able discuss it with regarding comments like above or the pressure they feel about the sats, it was teacher 2. I know and they know DC would struggle to approach someone to ask for a chat so I emailed to basically ask if they were willing to talk to DC about what’s causing them upset in the classroom and so they were able to express it them self which was not a problem with teacher 2. I did not mention what it was about and given DC the opportunity to deal with this themself?
is this ok or should I be dealing with it ????

Sounds like a great solution. Really supporting your child to advocate for themself, but supporting it to happen.

As an aside - have they read any Elle mcnicoll? Heroes and heroines with dyspraxia etc. lots of positives and explicit mentions of teachers who don't understand - might be quite nice! A kind of spark TV show was adapted from her book too

Ah sounds so tricky. If things don't improve I might mention it to teacher 2 and see what happens then. Hope things pick up.

I don't think YABU and it's a great skill to be able to advocate for himself. See how he feels after he's had the chat.

My only practical concern would be if the two teachers job share and teacher 1 is a difficult character, teacher 2 might find it difficult to bring up on your son's behalf. And if they do, teacher 1 could be pissed off that your son is 'telling tales' to teacher 2.

So monitor, praise your son for attempting to sort it himself but be prepared to approach teacher 1 if it continues.

I would send a very short email.

"My son has made me aware a comparison has been made to messy handwriting = being a baby.
I find this quite insensitive for obvious reasons and request teacher 1 considers a more thoughtful approach to what they say. My child was very upset for hours later. I await your thoughts"

We’ve had this exact situation. And the answer is always “yes but ds knows we didn’t mean them”. It’s infuriating and I’m impressed your child feels like they can’t speak to the teacher. That’s a great level of maturity. Hopefully the teacher realises their approach can better but the message still received. Something like, some of you aren’t doing your best, you need to be doing to your best to make your work as clear as you can - this is almost as important as getting thr answer right.

anyway you’re not alone.

Please tell you DC that you have spoken to a secondary school English teacher (me) and that we do not care whether handwriting is neat. There are no marks at GCSE level for neat, even writing. We care only about what is written. As long as we can read it, whether that is typed on paper or written down, we are happy and can give marks.

I would also tell your DC that doctors generally have messy handwriting, but they are some of the cleverest people there are and definitely not babies.

Also, for what it’s worth, I think you have handled it well, but I would be inclined to speak to the teacher who was insensitive to your DC and mention it in a nice way. For most teachers, strict is an act and I am sure they will be upset when they realise they have discouraged a child who is trying their best. How they respond would then inform me how next to act.

I think that you did the right thing but, in the teacher's defence, they really do need to be able to address the rest of the class without your DC taking it as a personal attack on them. He can't teach 30 odd kids individually.

Honestly the first thing I used to tell my year 7s is if they didn't want to write in cursive that they didn't have to and if their writing was particularly large to leave a line between each line to make it easier to read. The point is to be able to read their ideas, if they haven't mastered neat writing by year 7 its better to give a work around so they aren't deflated.

It might help make the teacher aware of what the incident was if you tell them rather than rely on DD (just in case she doesn't feel that confident in telling the other teacher).

Did the teacher definitely say the writing was babyish? When I was in year 6 the class were definitely spoken to about handwriting and being able to read it, and so they must be clear.

Additionally does you daughter have a scribe? Have you talked about access arrangements for SATS as if they are worried now about their handwriting then they should be able to access a scribe based on their disability.