To think this woman is crazy to be this man's new girlfriend?

[Purplefoxes]

Just that:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx2n2dn0rkxo

Shocking article. They should brand/tattoo these men on their forehead ABUSER! No need for Clare's law.

Not only has he got a new girlfriend but she tried to help him get away without conviction!!! Even though he beat up his previous girlfriend and coercive controlled her until she killed herself. Reminds me of that story line on Happy valley where Frances Drummond is infatuated by murderer Tommy Le Royce in prison and he is just using her. Except real life... Just why.

I hope the the mum's little girl has a good upbringing, she probably won't remember her mother which is sad.

I thought the same. 'He blew a kiss to his girlfriend in the viewing gallery'.
I don't understand these women. And mothers who stand by brutes, too

Yes. He just screams red flags doesn’t he. I suppose she’ll learn in time, possibly too late. He had a conviction for battering a previous girlfriend.

Sadly I expect he's love bombing her and she believes he'll be different with her because she can make him happy.

Watched this on the 6pm news and just thought what an absolute piece of shit. That poor girl and her poor baby growing up without her mummy.

I hop the little girl is safe from
this awful man

Awful.
I will never understand some people.

Some women are blinded by a man’s attention.

He had her name and face tattooed within the first week. They were engaged by week three but she called if her fairytale.

Huge red flag to most but to women with no self esteem to start with they would never be able to see. I’ve seen it first hand where they call anyone concerned jealous.

She'll learn the hard way.
He'll be best behaviour for bit I would imagine because of the court case but he will return to his usual form when she does something to displease him.

There are always red flags in the beginning but if you’ve grown up with an abusive father you won’t recognise them as red flags.

Men like this will target vulnerable women who they can then manipulate into believing they are the best thing in their life and of course the Ex is lying because they were crazy/jealous/cheated on him and now want him back and "you'll defend me in court won't you? I'm nothing but nice and loving. Hey let's get married because I love you so much!"

It's victim blaming to blame her tbh

How do women end up with such low self-esteem that they keep going back to total bastards like this, who repeatedly assault them, but then say they're sorry, so get forgiven?

That poor child, how will she cope when she finds out that her mother killed herself out of fear of her father. And I can imagine a court giving him access to the child, hopefully it will be supervised for as long as possible.

I don't think it's victim blaming to wonder why women keep going back to men who attack them, we have to try to understand why it happens so that girls and women can be supported to avoid relationships like this.

I understand how hard it can be to leave if you have children, for fear that he'd have access to your kids and you couldn't protect them, but why keep going back before you have kids?

I wish I could find it, but I once found a study that suggested that knowing a man had killed someone made him more attractive to women.

I am sure this is a thing, some kind of deep lizard brain stuff. It's not always just the idea of taming the beast, or a man in prison who can't stray. There can be an allure to the violence itself. So I don't think it's always that women in these scenarios are blind or naive. For some the capacity for violence is in some sense what they are there for. For women like that you will not change their mind by telling them he is bad - they already know.

Many women of course don't feel that way at all, and others have the self-knowledge and wisdom to understand that it's an unhealthy urge. Some seem not to have that kind of impulse for self-preservation though.

Not only prison but a restraining order from any woman for the next 10 years (and a fuck ton of psychological work) . He's a repeat abuser, it should just be illegal for him to make contact with women.

Because they are vulnerable. Because they are manipulated. Because they have nothing else. Because they can be threatened.

They are victims and asking "but why not just leave?" is basically blaming them for putting themselves in a situation they might not really have control over

I had pretty high self-esteem. What I did not have was any experience of a peaceful relationship, or of being treated with genuine care. I took it for granted that all men hit their partners - if one didn't, it was only because he hadn't got around to it yet. With this belief system, naturally enough, I tended to have partners who matched my expectations.

While it's nice to know that most people grow up with more emotionally balanced role models and carry them forwards, it's also frustrating that those same people haven't the faintest idea of the enormous effort it takes to 're-parent' oneself and build a new internal relationship model.

We aren't sorry little creatures feeling we deserve no better ... we don't know there is better, what that looks like or how it feels. And most of us are very strong; we've had to be.

Sadly domestic abuse is often so common in a family/ community that its almost normalised. Generations of the same family bringing uo the next generation of abusers/victims.
I knew a girl when I was late teens whose bf beat her in her mums house when the mum was downstairs. Apparently the washing machine drowned out the noise! I couldn’t understand why the police weren’t involved. Or why she atayed in the relationship! They didn't live together, both still at home. They went on ilto have 3 DC & he was extremely violent. They didn't split till the DC were much older. And I think it was him that left her for someone else.

If a man hit my DD i would di everything in my power to get her away from him. But it just seems to be accepted as just part of life in some communities. Depressing that the expectations of some are so low.

I saw that.

The new girlfriend is an idiot but probably believes it “won’t happen to her”.

Idiot.

Unfortunately he will have told her his story first and this is what at the moment she is choosing to believe

but it’s foolish to think that it’s only women with low self esteem who end up in abusive relationships. It can happen to any one of us we can all be caught off guard, we call all be pulled in by abusers (many have personality disorders) please never believe you can’t it’s a foolish stance to take

It’s the psychology of a victim of abuse. It’s not about low self-esteem.

Seems like the mom did try but there is only so much you can do. I remember when my aunt in law was in an abusive relationship we could not get her away from him. She kept running back.

I thought the jury were wrong and should have given a guilty verdict. The men who do these thingS don't care, but should be made to care. It looks to me like the only way is to jail them for murder or manslaughter.

How can we end the problem of male violence if they get off? No, jail him like you would a murderer.