What to do in retirement

[Retirementsoon]

I am estranged from my large family. I don’t have a lot of friends. I feel like retiring soon. What’s the best way to enjoy this? I have quite a lot of money luckily.

Coming very late to this - what type of role are you doing that offers this level of flexibility?

I'm thinking ahead to this. I've never not worked and cannot imagine not doing something "useful' but also don't wish to be too tied down. I've done pro bono for charities /non profits and most of the interesting roles are much like work - full or part time but regular and fixed commitments.

I'm also interested in how long it took you to enjoy travelling alone. Like many couples, our plans were for more shared travel in retirement. Now I'm replanning for retirement alone and I've found the travel is just not as enjoyable as being with someone. I have no fear of the logistics or the visiting unusual/difficult places - I was always the organiser for our trips and travelled extensively alone for work, including to some very challenging locations.

Now I find the lovely view, the fascinating culture etc just doesn't carry the same buzz without being able to turn and say "oh look at that" - especially to places which were on DH's wishlist which he will now never see. DC think I should try escorted tours but they seem to me to be a bit like luxury school trips!

I'm DM you about my role in a little while@C8H10N4O2 , as it's quite niche and somewhat outing. But there are plenty of similar roles around.

As for solo travelling, I've made it a point to stay in hostels on my travels, where I met some amazing people of all ages, some of whom I'm still in contact with 15 years later! I'd often end up sharing transport or doing day trips with them, and sometimes even sticking together over a few days. And I never had anything other than good experiences that way. Everyone travelling independently that way seems to have an instinct for making connections but not being intrusive.

Staying in hostels sounds a great idea.I like going to the thetre and matinee performances are much cheaper.

Thank you for the PM - very helpful.

I hadn't considered hostels as a good way to meet people at my age - just as the cheap accommodation I used when young and short on cash and sharing dorms dorm with lots of other young cash strapped travellers with the occasional luxury of a private double.

That casual "together but not locked together" feel with individual travellers could be a good option. Campsites often produce that vibe but my back would object these days!

Lots of hostels also have individual rooms as well as dorms. They're the ones I book now that I've discovered that I snore! So I get reasonable comfort yet the camaraderie of being around like minded people of all ages.

My most recent experience: I had a short break to Lisbon and stayed in a hostel there. The very first night I was persuaded by a bunch of 20 and 30 year olds to go out with them and find some fado and dinner. We had a great time, shared loads of travel and life stories, then a few of us went back while some stayed out and went to a night club.

In a hostel in Malawi I met some of the most interesting people, from a travelling magician, to an ambassador.

If you choose your hostel carefully, these experiences can be quite typical, whether you're in China or the Czech Republic.

Its sounds ideal. Have you come across any good guidebooks/sites to this type of hostel and guesthouse to use in planning or do you take a bit of a chance?

I haven't found any decent guidebooks since Lonely Planet lost its way, to be honest. But Hostelworld and now booking .com have a lot of them on their books, and I go pretty much entirely by reviews, and choose places where those reviews consistently use the words friendly/hospitable/lovely people, etc.

But I do check lonely planet and rough guides for the out of the way places and smaller, quirky lodges.

Can you get a dog? Lots of time to spend with it and you'll meet people out on walks. That's my plan.

The trouble with that is that a dog is a huge tie. Retirement frees you from commitment and means you can be spontaneous. So getting a dog puts you back at square one.

I can take up a last minute invitation to stay with friends. I can see a cheap air fare and have a city break at a cheap time without having to worry about who's going to look after a pet. I can go out for a couple of hours, and end up out for the day. I can travel for three or four weeks without worrying about getting time off, so why would I then saddle myself with the expense and practicalities (availability etc) of finding a dog sitter or kennels?

Exactly! It’s why I’ve never had a dog. I want to be able to stay out all day and night if I fancy it, or leave for the weekend at the drop of a hat. No longer be8ng tied to a working week would open all kinds of opportunities. Do you still get free travel over a certain age in the UK?

I’ve not retired but had some time recently (post redundancy) and went away on my own with exodus. 3 weeks in SE Asia. There were some retired people on the trip and everyone was fabulous and got on well. If you’re a bit nervous about travel particularly travelling to parts of the world you don’t know, do consider doing something similar - if travel is your thing.

And getting up at six o clock in the morning to walk it

Then there is all the care and vets bills ...and worry

Oh yes. Instead of getting up at 6:15am to go to work, I get to lie in bed for as long as I like! I would not appreciate a dog demanding to be fed and walked at 7 or 8.

I love dogs by the way. But this absolutely isn't the time of life for me to have one

Although having said that, I know Greyhounds do not need to be walked every day and love to sleep all day. They actually need a once a week mad run somewhere?
I do love dogs too, so maybe I'll think about a greyhound in retirement. I'm not one for travelling too, so it would only suit if you just liked uk holidays.

Plenty to rescue too....

This sounds really good, especially if you worry about a lack of structure. Hoping to retire in the next few years so I will keep this in mind.

There's loads of interest volunteering opportunities. You could teach people to read with the charity Read Easy or teach prisoners to read (forgot the name of the charity). You could be a mentor for care leavers. You could mentor young mums, you could be a breastfeeding support volunteer. Train guide dogs.
Also, look into Pueblo Ingles, (it might've changed its name to Diverbo).. It's a Spanish language programme that needs English speaking volunteers to spend weeks with Spanish people helping them to learn conversational English. I've done it and AMAZING! Met some fantastic people!
I'd recommend registering with your local volunteers centre who can act like a matching service for you, no obligation to say yes to anything but it might give you a idea of the opportunities near you. Good luck a.d enjoy!

U3A is great. You could start your own group in the evening for now. Maybe a book group in a pub, a dining out group, or a dining in group with takeaways. You just join, suggest a group and get started when enough people contact you.

I suppose I fear being lonely when I become an 'empty nester' which is why I suggested a dog! Having said that, I do want to travel a lot first. But I can see myself getting one later, for the companionship.

I volunteer at big games like Olympics (stuff like scanning tickets or guide people where their seats are so no huge skills required), locally with vulnerable women, at my kids school. I’ve met some incredible people that have opened some doors I didn’t know existed.

Help adults learn to read

Play walking netball, cricket, football.
There's so.much out there today.
Start your own group or class.

The world is your oyster.

My wish list
learn a musical instrument, I played at intermediate level up to my 20s. Maybe go back to first instrument and take up a new one. Weekly class and lots of practice!! (I can wish!!)

join a dance class for oldies. Maybe beginners ballet. Or folk dancing.

exercise -easy Pilates, easy yoga, light weights with PT if I can afford it. aqua aerobics maybe?

cultural events - shows, concerts, gigs

travel, especially to new and interesting places. Longer hols, maybe 4 weeks together.

cooking classes - get new ideas, and cook greater variety of food

more time socialising and exercising with friends

more frequent/consistent communication/visits with family (I’m a disaster at this)

retirement is only a few years away for me.
i must take note of some of the recommendations in this tread.

Retirement terrifies me, I could probably keep busy, but I fear I won’t have the focus/routine/structure that work brings

I had some anxieties before retirement (took a voluntary early exit package shortly before my 58th birthday) including

• Worrying thatI’d miss the social aspects of work
• Worrying thatI’d feel lost without the structure and routine
• Worrying that my relationship with DH would suffer from spending more time together

None of these worries materialised. I’m 63 now and£ have never regretted it for a moment. I know lots of retirees an£ none of them have regretted it.