To apply for maintenance

[Lollylollylolly]

Separated 17 months ago - DD (11) is with me full time as she doesn't want to go to her Dad. Says she is frightened and has given examples. DS (9) still goes, he wants to see his Dad and is doing 50/50.

I have mentioned a few times about school uniform/coats/shoes to ex but never seems to respond well. E.g says well I have to do half for DS and I have uniform for DD here, she has 2 houses. She hasn't stayed overnight there in nearly 12 months so not sure what the point in it being there. He also uses the fact that I claim the child benefit.

He brought DS round a few weeks ago asking for the trainer's I got him because he doesn't have any at dads.

I pay pretty much 100% of living costs for DD and I would say more than my 50% for DS. Seriously considering going for maintenance just worried about his reaction. Can I claim maintenance even though it's DD that's the one refusing to go with him.

Yes, claim through CMS. Call them in the morning.

His reaction is his problem, let him react however he wants. Let it wash over you.

I’d be speaking to a lawyer first and seeing if your DD can choose not to go . The last thing you want is for him to turn around and go to court saying your DD has to go to his or you are stopping her going to his ( which you are obviously not) but I think you need to check he can’t turn around and legally say your DD has to go to his… protect your DD firstly

But stopping sending uniforms and shoes etc he needs to have full uniform and clothes for DS at his

Get onto cms for your dd. I doubt he is going to court though he may bluff and bluster. It is all hot air and noise.

Going forward, give him half of ds child benefit. Through his bank tagged '50% cb' He can buy and shop for trainers in his own time. Broken record 'You're supposed to get him that for your house'

Send a text asking him to bring 'dd's uniform that she needs for school, when he next drops off ds.'

You mention you are worried about his reaction. I get it. I was you.
You are doing these things for your dd not yourself. If he turns petty or nasty, it is more proof you were right to get away.
Dd only has you to stick up for her, like you would with a teacher or a Dr. Calmly, firmly and without getting personal.