I'm glad you've posted this. I was thinking of posting something similar myself, but didn't have the courage to start a thread. I am a Christian - and have been to different churches on and off all my life really. And when I moved to this area that I'm in (about nine years ago,) I started to go to the local church here.
A few people seem quite friendly, but yeah, quite intrusive and nosey. I did confide in one woman who seemed friendly, about an issue I was having at the time, (some 8 years ago.) I told her not to tell anyone - and she told everyone. It was the talk of the congregation for about a month, and people kept prying, and asking me about it. I didn't tell anyone ANYthing after that. And one woman actually was very nosy and intrusive, and followed me around and kept knocking my door, and expected to be invited in... She tried to insert herself firmly in my life as if she was a relative ...It was very stressful.
She was also quite spiteful and bitchy about other people. (Probably about me behind my back.) Very rude, and very sarcastic sometimes too. If I didn't behave how she wanted me to, she would throw a strop.
I've also noticed several cliques there as well. And each one is quite spiteful about the others.
One woman used to have a big meeting about 6 or 7 years ago with about 20 women in her house and there was always 3 or 4 of them that completely took over the conversation. Very bossy dominant women.. Also, this woman who ran the group kept trying to get us to go door knocking to spread the word of Jesus, and told me to go and visit this one particular woman - as her husband had left her - to see if she wanted to talk about it. I has never met the woman before! (I didn't do it!)
Long story short, over lockdown, the church shut for quite a few months, (about 6,) and not one single person from the church contacted me to see if I was OK. And yes, I did contact quite a number of older and more vulnerable members of the church to see if they were OK, maybe 7 or 8 of them in the first couple of months. But nobody ever contacted me, even though I'm near retirement age, and have a disability. (So also somewhat vulnerable.) I was one of the first people to be offered a covid jab because of my vulnerable health.
At this point, I haven't been to the church for 14 months. The only contact I've had is the vicar passing my house last July - saying 'haven't seen you at church for a while!' And that's the only effort that they've made to find out why I haven't been.
It makes me feel so sad and blue because I know that they don't really care about me that much. I think I was just someone to fill the seats and to make up the numbers. Also, when you do join the church, they want you to completely immerse yourself into it and go to everything involved in it, and get involved in helping with everything as well... Because of various reasons I'm unable to do this, and was only able to go there around twice a month. And I believe if you don't fully immerse yourself into it that you do get pushed out.
I am still a Christian, and a follower of Jesus, but I doubt I will ever go to church again. Too cliquey, too many bitchy women, too many intrusive people, and they only want you really if you give everything to them, and devote your life to them. (In my experience anyway.)
I have found this at previous churches too sometimes, and I don't think it can be me all the time. I'm done with church now.