Single mum in menopause

[Davegrohlsnewwife]

Single mum with 2 teenagers. Currently in the throws of menopause. I'm struggling to be everything to everyone and trying to also look after myself. I am exhausted. No external family to help. DC's father not on the scene (was abusive). Work full time, and spend most days in tears. Trying to be strong, but just feel hopeless. People keep saying "you've got this" makes me want to punch them in the face! I haven't got this - I'm drowning in self pity and don't know how to climb out. I used to be so strong and resilient, well that's gone! HRT is in short supply in my area, this isn't helping. Dr keeps trying to put me on AD's but never seem to work. Can my fellow MNers give me some advice, anything that might help! 🙏

Where are you based? Surely there is some form of HRT available if this is a big factor?

Really you need HRT to help, I felt anxious and on edge all the time before starting HRT and I'm usually completely chilled out and quiet unflappable so it made a huge difference to me. Life is stressful enough without your own hormones ganging up on you. Go back to the doctors and get them to prescribe HRT and not give you any excuses.

Sertraline really helped me, even as a short term fix it’s worth looking at. Maybe self refer for taking therapy too. I’d try and get a blood test done too to see if your iron is low. Are you drinking enough?

Based in Kent- I have the coil but need Estrogen gel which is in short supply. Dr's are aware but say nothing they can do if pharmacies don't have stock. I haven't even had a chance to be on it long enough to see a difference before it ran out of stock.

I've tried sertraline but had horrible side effects. Then the Dr weaned me off it but I had awful electric shock sensations in my head for weeks. I don't think ADs are the answer for me.

Also, I've had all the blood tests to confirm hormones and also tests for anemia, thyroid etc. I've always had low iron so take supplements, spent a fortune on menopause supplements but just not working. They've booked me in with talking therapies but have to wait approx 6 months . . . Just feel like I am being pushed aside, and just told "go away and get on with it". But it's so hard to just be "normal" anymore.

I’m on venlaflaxine and that helps. I can’t go in HRT. Surely you could get HRT somewhere?

Honestly, I've tried 5 different pharmacies, none have it in stock. And when it is, you go on it but when you run out it's a lottery to find it again. I am on waiting lists, but it's just a joke. But I see they have plenty of viagra for the poor lambs with ED. Honestly, if men had to go through this it would be a different story!

Thats crap. I’m in surgical menopause so I know what you’re going through. It’s very difficult. Have you tried online pharmacies? Iv never used them but maybe worth a try.

I'm sorry - I've had a really bad day and now I can't sleep. I have had hot flushes and tears all day, I'm just at the end of my tether with mood swings.

obviously not those dodgy pharmacies lol But ones that are nhs registered xx

Venlaflaxine has really helped me. I can’t take HRT because of cancer. Venlaflaxine has taken the edge of it

Yes I've tried them - but same issues. Last time my friend gave me some of hers as she was allergic to the gel, but now I am back on waiting lists. I've googled homeopathic remedies, but worried the ones I see online are just expensive dupes. I am at a bit of a loss with it all.

I've not heard of this. I might mention this to my Dr. He doesn't seem to really know much about menopause tbh. When I first went to see him he told me I was probably just being a bit dramatic, as I was "only mid 40's". I pushed for blood tests, and then he referred my to the nurse, who recommended coil and estrogen gel. But the Gel is like unicorn pooh apparently!

My GP advised against HRT, as supply couldn't be guaranteed. (Meanwhile, GP surgeries were being offered a bonus for prescribing it to men - who need at least 3x the amount one woman does. That really p**d me off!)
Meanwhile, the company of other women helped. On here, on SM, in real life.
And it was finite, as in, it was shit, but temporary. I coped without HRT, and came out the other end of it. The only long term symptom is constantly being hot, which isn't such a bad thing, in the current economic climate.

If you're in Kent, Helios in Tunbridge Wells is the best place to go for advice and guidance on homeopathic remedies for menopause.

I have only 1 friend in same situation, pretty sure my other friends think I'm batshit! It's just been a bit of a day. My daughter is a prolific hyperchondriac and I snapped at her today. Then I lost it over a dish left by the dishwasher and cried. It's not me, and I just can't seem to get a grip.

Ooh might try them - thank you!

Why not try oestrogen patches, maybe they're easier to get? I have the coil and have evorel oestrogen only patches. Try asking the pharmacies what patches they have in regular supply, then ask the gp for those.

Patches can also be tricky to get hold of, according to my GP, where as oestrogen tablets are more easily available. Is there a reason they can't prescribe oestrogen tablets?
Go back to the GP receptionist and explain you can't get hold of the medication and ask for it to be prescribed in a different form.

Have you tried a private online doctor service such as Boots - it might be worth seeing what they suggest and supply, but obviously it will cost.

I've never heard of estrogel being in short supply. But I recently switched from that to lenzetto spray and I find it better. You could maybe ask for that?

I do sympathise. Menopause can be utterly shit for some women.

I’ve also never had a problem getting oestrogel, sorry to hear it’s in short supply where you are. Keep trying. Or, as others have said, there are a plethora of online pharmacies who will send it to you for a cost. Boots, Superdrug, to mention the big names, but also other independents. I’ve used these people before for a different HRT when I went on holiday and forgot to pack mine, and they were very quick and efficient. If you’re suffering that much, wouldn’t it be worth spending around £25-30/bottle for oestrogel while you wait for it to come in to your local pharmacy?:

www.theindependentpharmacy.co.uk/menopause-hrt/oestrogel

I’m also in Kent. I have the evorel patches and have never had a problem with supply. Maybe ask for those?

For those on sertraline, is that for the anxiety? HRT does seem to have taken the edge off it, but I’m still a wreck really.

Can you afford to go private for HRT?
I went private partly because shortages meant I was spending a lot of time every month filling a prescription
and having to change brands to whatever was in supply.

I use Newsom and Cloud RX. It is expensive but very reliable.