To think it’s just mean to poke fun at this?

[embarrassinglisp]

At a family gathering talking about baby with a tongue tie. I mentioned that I have recently noticed I had one, so that must be where she got it from. DM was surprised and said she never knew when I was a baby. My sister said ‘didn’t you?’

I didn’t cotton on at this point so I said light heartedly, ‘to be honest, you probably have one too, the HV said it can be hereditary. I suppose I didn’t know because it never caused any issues with anything like eating or speech’

Quickly, DSis retorted ‘I definitely don’t, because I don’t have a lisp. No offence!’ And sniggered.

I have always felt as though I said my ‘S’ a bit unusually and felt self conscious of that, but never realised it was a full on lisp. Nobody told me and now I feel really embarrassed that I am an adult with a lisp, however slight, that wasn’t corrected.

AIBU to think this is a shitty thing to point out and totally pointless to do? Usually I can brush things off but admittedly I’m feeling sensitive PP.

yes that was shitty and pointless and unkind and I'm not even sure if relevant
would tongue tie cause a problem pronouncing 's' ?
unless you are quite ancient OP I doubt that your 'lisp' is noticeable to anyone else or you would have been referred for speech therapy

Thank you. No im quite young as it goes

Of course it was mean but no shame in having a lisp

My DS had a tongue tie and we didn't even know until he was 8 months old and they wouldn't do anything about it

DS had a lisp but hasn't been noticed in a while. He still sort of has the tongue tie but recently 'broke' it a little

I have a slight lisp and I hate it too. Doubt there is anything to be done for it now as an adult.

It was mean.

Not what you asked, but I recently realised I have upper and lower lip and tongue tie and I also have "splashy s's" and I plan on having elective surgery privately and functional therapy. So if you are unhappy still about it, it can be rectified as an adult.

It’s kinda mean but I wouldn’t make too much of it, it was just said in the moment and siblings aren’t always super sensitive. My DD has a slight lisp despite earlier speech therapy but I haven’t seen it as something that must be fixed. We’re all a little different but interested to hear if people think that is the wrong attitude.

I think when something’s said sort of offhand it can really cut you as you weren’t expecting it. I was discussing a picture of my nephew with my DSis and we noticed his eyes looked asymmetrical, like mine are. DSis said oh I hope his eyes aren’t like yours. It wasn’t meant to be cruel but still, ouch.

I’m sure if no-one’s ever mentioned it to you before now then it’s very minimal.

100% this, thank you

Undiagnosed tongue tie in adults is so common in formula fed babies especially. As for breastfeeding to be successful (baby to feed sufficiently and it not be painful etc) it is usually corrected. I don't think it was a known thing in the 80s and 90s especially.

Sorry your sister made that comment especially sniggering! You're right of course that it is very common in families and not necessarily anything to do with a lisp.

I was told when I did a drama exam as a teen that I had a 'weak 's' sound' and it lost me marks. When I told family they all said oh yeah, that's your lisp. I said wtf?? Had no idea.

My DC had tongue ties, one corrected one not, assume it's hereditary. DP also has one and finds some things harder eg eating certain things.

I was told by a midwife when DC were small that the medicalisation of birth from the 60s onwards meant that midwives lost touch with things like this - apparently prior to that they'd always have one long nail specially to cut a tongue tie quickly straight after birth! Meanwhile it took literal months to diagnose a fairly bad TT in one of my kids.

Yeah, mean of your sister to make fun. Is she still quite young eg teen?

No, she’s my older sister aged 30

Really split poll. Interesting! I just feel rubbish now. I always live by ‘never point out something someone can’t change in 10 seconds’ which is probably why it stings more. I wouldn’t dream of making someone feel self conscious of things they can’t alter fast

How would she know that you didn’t know you have a lisp, though?

If it’s something that has gone into adulthood I’m sure for her it was like pointing out your green eyes or freckles.

I would put money on it being nowhere near as prominent as you think. I realise that probably doesn't make a blind bit of difference to you, I'm just an internet random. One thing I can say with certainty is that 99.9% of people would rather spend time with a decent person who had a lisp than a nasty piece of work with clear enunciation.

Yes, that is really shitty. I'm sorry to hear they sniggered like that.

My ds has a lisp. I am always worrying that some idiot will say the wrong thing to him and crush his confidence.

FWIW, my aunt has one, and I never noticed. It was only realised when my husband pointed it out to me, when talking about ds.

What is tongue tie? How can you tell if you have it?

I've just googled tongue tie. It's just I thought it might explain my son's lisp. I'm guessing this is something a health visitor would routinely check for.

I am so sorry they were nasty to you.