I really need advice because I have no idea if I am overthinking everything. I absolutely accept that this is not a massive problem in the grand scheme of things but I am so upset.
i have always had (or so I thought) a good relationship with my in laws. I’ve been married for nearly 20 years and have teenage dd and ds. My mother in law was very kind to me when they were little as my mother died when I was 15 and my dad re-married someone who essentially kicked me out when I was 18. My mother in law was wonderful. The kids are older now, and my dd stayed a few nights every summer there with her cousin- one of many- it is a huge family! Last summer my dd overheard my in laws talking about me with one of their daughters about how helpful or not various husbands and wives were when visiting. They talked about me and my husband’s brother’s wife, and said how unhelpful we were. My sister in law is so incredibly kind and thoughtful and I can’t understand why they would say that about her. And I really don’t know why they would say that about me too, I always offer to clear away plates etc. I’ve lost count of how many Brussels sprouts I’ve dealt with over Christmases! I must have missed something? I just don’t understand it. I’d tried to forget about it, but today, my father in law came round to borrow some cleaning equipment. My husband’s youngest sister has moved into what turns out to be a very dirty house, and the family are helping to clean it. I am currently incapacitated with a spine problem. I’m having surgery in two weeks for it and I can’t do any physical work. My father in law very pointedly said, “oh well, don’t YOU worry yourself about it,” and the implication of me being unhelpful was very clear. Should I say something? I feel so upset by it because it’s the complete opposite of the truth. Please, give me some advice!!