Grumpy Grandad at this house

[Weirdskytodayhey]

Would you let your Dc go?

Dd has a friend who comes to stay nearby with her grandparents at weekends. They often go to each others houses.
Dd often complains she doesn’t feel comfortable there as the grandad is always moaning and complaining when they play and get toys out and telling off her friend. Dd still wants to go as likes her toys and playing with her.
Would you allow it?

Play at yours

They do..a lot, but obviously she gets invited back and I can’t keep saying no

Are you worried DD is in danger OP?

Not in danger, but she gets anxious about it as he’s forever going on about the mess or complaining if they don’t eat their dinner etc

Have you ever spoken to these people or asked them if they want your child at their house? (As in, asked if they're happy to provide childcare for your daughter)

Yes, the Grandma is really nice and invites her over

But the man doesn't want kids around, and your child is anxious, so best not make her go. Granny can persist all she likes, it doesn't matter, just say no thanks.

It isn’t childcare, I much prefer her friend being at our house and try to get in their first, but after a few times at ours, the Grandma persists about Dd going to theirs this time

you absolutely can keep saying no, if something is making you uncomfortable, just say no.

makes you wonder why they are subjecting the child to staying there, take her to yours give her a break

If seeing Grandad is a bit uncomfortable to be around rather than worrying, arguably it is up to DD to decide if she wants to go, but also arguably if Grandad lives there and finds small children hard to cope with, it would be fairer not to. It seems that DD is caught in the middle of a dispute between that older couple, one of whom loves having children playing while the other dislikes it.
If you feel its best for DD to refuse the invitations, you might tell the family that you're getting the impression that Granddad is finding the noise and mess too much of a strain, so you'd rather the children play at your house. You might even invite Grandma too, if she's disappointed?