Which is worse?

[HelenaofTroy]

I didn't hear you because I dont actually care what you're saying so don't absorb the details, or,

I heard your specific instruction but I chose to ignore this and go with what I thought because I seem to think I know everything ?

Regarding my husband. Who never listens. And both of the above apply to. Over time it has whittled away at me. Basically I haven't been heard in 15 years and I'm tired now. Very tired.

My DH does the second one. I'll ask him to do something and he'll do it but with a different slant on it.

Or I'll pick up some chicken or fruit in the supermarket, he'll pick it out of the trolley and examine it before swapping it for one he's selected. It's a quirk and he doesn't even know he does it.

@HelenaofTroy If you have spoken to him and he hasn't listened or heard you, he's not going to change. It's up to you to make a change. What would you like to do?

OP, you have one precious life. Do you really want to spend it with him?

Sorry this hurts. They are both bad.
Does this happen frequently? or is it when he is distracted?

Gather your thoughts and let him know he is letting you down and it is upsetting.

Keep us posted 💐

Mine is like this too. And when I raise it he says “I didn’t do it on purpose” or “I forgot” etc as though that’s a good enough excuse from an adult 20+ times a week.

I couldn't get back on to post again yesterday so apologies for the late reply.

It's all the time. I've spoken about it, or tried to, he'll make excuses for the most part, "i thought i was doing the right thing" has been the most recent, like it's me with the problem, I'm guilted into thinking he was doing his best. Does that make sense?
Or he'll just get shitty that I've "attacked" him. Honestly I don't think he's ever known how to behave in a relationship but I've allowed that to continue for a very long long time. Hes never made me feel good really. More fool me.

I saw that thread that said you know when you just hate them. Felt that to my core.

If i respond honestly, I'd like to leave him now but at the moment the ducks are not in a row, they are squirrels and I'd have to wait at least several months if not more to be rid of him.