To think his desperation to divorce = red flag?

[MevD]

My husband and I separated a couple of years ago due to his infidelity. He left the country to be with his affair partner (in his home country), but their relationship ended a few months later, and he quickly moved on to someone else. A little over a year ago, he filed for divorce and quit his high-paying job, remaining unemployed since. He owns the house, so I placed a stay on proceedings to ensure my home rights are protected (they end upon final order) and to prevent him from selling the property without my consent, which he has attempted before but thankfully the sale didn't go through due o home rights protection. We share a 6-year-old DC, and I’ve taken on full responsibility for childcare, bills, and all financial needs for our child.
He was in an on-and-off relationship for 2 years (breaking up 4 times for several months each time), but they’ve been broken up for 9 months now. He moved back to the UK in October and is staying with his family and has been very much single since. Recently, after pressuring me to sell ASAP, he proposed that I stay in the family home until the mortgage term ends, continuing the current arrangement, with him contributing £150 towards the mortgage while I cover the rest. He suggested that I receive all the equity upon sale (£27k) and that this agreement along a clean break is formalised in a consent order signed by a judge. His condition is that I lift the stay on proceedings immediately once consent order is signed. I’m happy with this deal, but he applied to go to court (first hearing in a couple of weeks), and all his documents show he’s desperate to have the stay lifted and the divorce granted.
I can’t understand why he’s suddenly so eager to finalise the divorce after being indifferent for so long, especially since our financial ties won’t be resolved until late next year. He even said I can have his full pension as well. Long as divorce happens. What’s driving his urgency if he is single? Could it be a condition from his ex to get back with him? He's head over heels? or something else?

I don't trust him. I'm worried he'd sell despite the consent order in place and run off to his home country. I'm not so bothered about the equity as it's so little, I just don't want to find myself homeless with DC and in another battle.

With kindness, you really, really need to pay properly for legal advice. I know it’s expensive but you’ll save money in the long run as you’ll know what the legal position is. You’ve no idea of the qualifications of those commenting on here and I’ve seen some terrible advice given which purported to be (incorrect) legal advice

Thank you. My solicitor advised that a consent order would protect me, and he would risk serious legal consequences, possibly even prison, if he tried to sell the property without consent. However, he could avoid accountability by moving to his home country, as he likely wouldn’t care about the consequences. I plan to bring this up with the judge at the hearing and ask if it’s possible to include a clause in the consent order stating that my home rights end only when we sell the property together. In the meantime, I’m trying to understand his motive for this sudden urgency.

Ask your solicitor will the consent order be enough to put a charge or a restriction on the house - it may be to register a restriction on selling with the land registry. Your solicitor will know.

I'd assume he's anticipating coming into a larger chunk of money and doesn't want to share. Whether that's a lottery ticket he hasn't cashed yet or a rich relative on deaths door or similar.

Could he have come into a large amount of money or be about to?
Otherwise it could be pressure from a partner or he could just be ready for a clean break.

The only thing I can think of is that he's due to come into some money and doesn't want you having rights to that as well?

In all honesty, OP, who cares about his reasons? His thoughts, feelings and motives are irrelevant. You are divorcing, all his bullshit isn’t your problem.

Follow your solicitor’s advice and don’t engage with your ex except through legal channels.

His feelings and relationship status are completely irrelevant. Who cares? But it sounds like you’re not getting very good legal advice. He’s in a high paying job and you’re shouldering all the childcare? 27k? What’s the child support offer like? I’d get a legal second opinion for the sake of your kid if nothing else.

Thank you, that’s a possibility I hadn’t considered. My child did mention that the last time she saw him and his family, his nieces were asking their dad and him when “Uncle X” was going to Dubai. Since the UAE isn’t part of the REMO programme, he wouldn’t have any child maintenance obligations there. Maybe, a new destination for him...

Given the length of the separation you’d be unlikely to have any claim on a new inheritance/lottery win.
What seems odd to me is your statement that ‘he owns the house’ - as you’re married, it’s a shared asset whatever it says on the deeds.

You’re absolutely right. He quit his well-paid job and has been unemployed ever since. Until October last year, he was living in his home country, so I handled all the childcare on my own. His family lives an hour away, and he claims he can only see our child when they lend him a car, as he doesn’t have one himself. When we spoke yesterday, he said he has no plans to commit to any child obligations, because of uncertainty about where he’ll find a job or where he’ll be in the future. I’m planning to apply for a child arrangement order after our financial hearing.

You’re absolutely right. His reasons and motives really don’t matter at this point.
If anything, I should be as eager to divorce.😅

In my Ex's case, his new girlfriend was pregnant and she wanted to be married before the baby came.

If 27k is ‘so little’ to you as a single parent then you really aren’t doing too badly. Who cares about the reasons, it’s been years just get it done and get rid of him. Make sure you pay for good legal advice though.

Yes in my experience there'll be a financial incentive rather than a romantic one.

Maybe he’s going back to work and doesn’t want that taken into account?

I suspect financial reasons rather than caring about what a new partner wants. He doesn’t seem the type to prioritise a woman’s feelings about the topic of divorce or a baby being born within marriage.

But don’t worry about his motive. Protect yourself with sound legal advice. All the best.

I would contact your solicitor and make sure the proposals your ex has given, would be beneficial for you and your child. I am going to guess that may be your ex has a time constraint, regarding the divorce. Perhaps he is planning on moving to Dubai, where it's high earning power, no tax and he wouldn't be obliged to pay child support to you either. Giving you what he's suggested, is quite possibly going to be small change, compared to his earning potential in Dubai. Either that, or he's due to receive a large sum of money, and he's concerned it could be taken into consideration during the divorce. His reasons aren't really your concern. Making sure you receive a fair settlement is.

Do you earn enough to get a mortgage so he can sign the house over to you?

This is my guess, he's reached the end of any stashed money he had, can't afford to stay out of work, wants his nice high paid career back but doesn't want to have to share any of the resulting income.