55 minute bus ride to secondary school

[PurpleStripedCat]

Is this too much? Due to separate from DH and I will probably end up moving areas around 6 miles away from DS (13) comp. One area is decent with a bus stop along the road which stops right outside his comp. Ex and I will be doing 50-50 shared so only half the time DS will have to do this. I don’t have much choice unfortunately about where I will end up as I’m on the HA/Council House list. I’m coming up as top ten for the area that would be a 55 minute bus ride. Other areas would be a 30 minute ride.

Unfortunately the 55 minute bus ride stops at loads of places which is why it takes ages!

I could also take that area off my list but it is the one I’m coming up top for.

My kids (all the kids in our town) have a 40 minute bus ride every day. It's normal and they're with mates, sometimes it's their favourite part of the day!

That's different to doing an hour bus ride on your own though!

Have you discussed it with him-his does he feel about it?

Be prepared for the fact he will probably want to spend more time at his dad's if that is so much closer and means he can have a lie-in, especially on cold dark mornings

What's the journey to school like from dad's house? I reckon it won't be long and you'll just get the texts on the day "just gonna stay at dad's tonight as its easier".

I grew up in London where it was very normal to travel for secondary school. From my first day, I travelled an hour on the tube alone or with friends. My friends did similar journeys from other parts of London so on the weekends, I was travelling two hours to get to their house. This made me extremely independent, unafraid and able to navigate any transport system anywhere in the world. Sometimes I feel I learnt more from the journey than from the day at school!

My daughter travels 1 hour and 15 mins each way by school bus/coach. ( privately paying bus service). We live 15 miles away from the school. It is do-able but can be tiring and we've had to stop after school activities.

The only issue I've had is the bus broke down a few times and I've had to go out to pick her up from where the bus broke down. It's not on a busy public bus route so no regular buses pass by. In your case, so long as the route is a busy bus route and other buses are going to come along, then go for it, if it's a better choice of school. If you don't drive, then you might want to consider a closer school or be prepared to pay for taxis.

Could he cycle? Not suggesting that would be an answer all the time but in the summer/if he doesn't have a ridiculous amount of kit, it would probably only be about 30 minutes on a bike.

Ultimately it's not ideal, but loads of things in life aren't ideal and they are still manageable. My school bus used to take about 40 mins plus a 15 minute walk and I never thought anything of it - it just was what it was.

My son had a 45 minute travel home on a public bus. It felt long to me but even though none of his friends were on bus, there were others from his school who he got to know and would chat to plus listening to music etc. He didn't mind it. I would say the main issue was the going in the morning. His was an hourly bus too, which meant an early start and potential for being late to school as bus only arrived at school just in time. As I drive, we ended up taking him in the morning and he got bus home, which worked out fine. But I see from your post you don't drive, so not an option for you. So does the bus timings in the morning match the school day?

My dd does a 40 min ride. We live rurally and every secondary is at least 30 min away. She doesn’t enjoy it, but she has a friend she’s made on the bus and has got used to it.

How is the 50/50 working with his dad.

You say dad leaves at 5.30am and isn't home until 8pm. Does he do shorter days when DC are there?

As for the bus, if there is an alternative I think you should look into it. If DC misses the bus (detention/speaking to teacher about something) he's got an hour to wait and you don't drive so can't collect him.

Can you learn to drive as a back up plan?
Can he cycle to school?

I think the main ‘risk’ (although you may not see it as a problem) is that as he gets older he stays with his dad more and more. I don’t think the journey time is awful but the frequency of the buses isn’t great. What if it doesn’t turn up? He could be standing in the cold for well over an hour. However it sounds like you are being pragmatic and this may be the only sensible solution.

What's the point of him going to dad's on dad's days if dad is out of the house 5am-8pm?

Might be worth looking at a secondary a short bus or walk from wherever you move to, and then he can spend all of dad's days off with him instead?

on his own seems tough.

I used to travel an hour door-to-door on the train. It's one of those things that's a pain for the first week, then just becomes part of your routine and you don't notice it any more.

It wouldn’t be on Dad’s days - it would be on my days but it would just save him occasionally having the long commute. But would mean he would be on his own after school but he could possibly go to a friends house. On his Dad’s days his Dad would have the whole day off and those days I would be in work.

It can work. It all depends sure on your circumstances. It isn't ideal but if you can't live closer then it will just have to work.

It’s a lottery basically, where I will be offered a place. Could well be much closer and not be an issue. This particular area is coming up as top for me. I think 50% of the time it could work, I wouldn’t think about it if he was with me all the time, it would be too far.

Then I wouldn't sweat it too much. Kids adapt. Life happens. It is more important that you both get a decent home.

It's ok but not ideal. If you do end up in that area, there's going to be a compromise one way or another - move schools or have the inconvenience of the journey. Discuss with him once you know where you're going to be.

It is a bit precarious relying on bus services in the UK, if you don't have the car for backup. I know that you're going to have a thread full of people telling you not to worry but this is what I had to do with my kids and it's a pita long term. Plus there's the issue that hanging out with schoolfriends is more difficult when you don't live near them. Not impossible, but you miss the spontaneous small types of interactions that kids have when they're all in the same neighbourhood.

I hope your housing gets sorted out soon. You'll probably find that you can make decisions about school with more clarity once you have it confirmed where you're going to be.