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Down in the dumps. What do I do now?

5 replies

Hunnybunny235 · 10/01/2025 21:12

Husband who I have 2 kids claims to be struggling with depression. I believe this to a degree but I also think he uses it as an excuse to a) not have to look after the kids and b) to behave badly and have no repercussions. For example, his going away on the weekend with a friend and instead of picking up the slack since he will with the kids I’ve been doing absolutely everything, sleeping in, not helping with household chores or even changing the kids (they are quite young.)

So fast forward to last night he kicked a chair in front of our daughter out of anger because I asked him to help search for our toddler’s dummy. When he said he wouldn’t help I showed annoyance and it led to the incident. I didn’t say anything or do anything to provoke this except maybe kiss my teeth a little (as much as this was a catty action I was just annoyed and tired from working so hard all week with no break.)

Today, we try talking about it, and he refuses to communicate at all. Instead he just gets angry, bring up things from my past which are so irrelevant to the situation and says he will apologise to our daughter but not me because “I’m not deserving of it.” “Everything bad about me is because of you.” His exact words! After I’ve dedicated years of my life solely to raising our kids, left my job so he could focus on his business, helped with the business, given up my free time so he could have longer hours at work and that’s not even the tip of the iceberg.

I feel so upset and betrayed and am thinking of leaving it’s just so hard because we literally just gave up our old house which I by myself could afford and I was extremely hesitant just in case something like this happened. What is a relationship without trust right? WRONG. Because now I’ve got 2 kids, no job and a husband who doesn’t respect nor love me. In fact, he just blames me for all his negative emotions.

I even called his mom because I thought she would be able to calm him down and help him see what his doing is not okay. But while I was on the phone to her he called me a weirdo and said I was just like every other trash girl out there. Send help! Men are evil sent by Satan ( okay not all of them but if I don’t laugh I’m going to spend the rest of the night crying.) Can’t believe how I’ve been treated.

OP posts:
Hunnybunny235 · 10/01/2025 21:20

Hunnybunny235 · 10/01/2025 21:12

Husband who I have 2 kids claims to be struggling with depression. I believe this to a degree but I also think he uses it as an excuse to a) not have to look after the kids and b) to behave badly and have no repercussions. For example, his going away on the weekend with a friend and instead of picking up the slack since he will with the kids I’ve been doing absolutely everything, sleeping in, not helping with household chores or even changing the kids (they are quite young.)

So fast forward to last night he kicked a chair in front of our daughter out of anger because I asked him to help search for our toddler’s dummy. When he said he wouldn’t help I showed annoyance and it led to the incident. I didn’t say anything or do anything to provoke this except maybe kiss my teeth a little (as much as this was a catty action I was just annoyed and tired from working so hard all week with no break.)

Today, we try talking about it, and he refuses to communicate at all. Instead he just gets angry, bring up things from my past which are so irrelevant to the situation and says he will apologise to our daughter but not me because “I’m not deserving of it.” “Everything bad about me is because of you.” His exact words! After I’ve dedicated years of my life solely to raising our kids, left my job so he could focus on his business, helped with the business, given up my free time so he could have longer hours at work and that’s not even the tip of the iceberg.

I feel so upset and betrayed and am thinking of leaving it’s just so hard because we literally just gave up our old house which I by myself could afford and I was extremely hesitant just in case something like this happened. What is a relationship without trust right? WRONG. Because now I’ve got 2 kids, no job and a husband who doesn’t respect nor love me. In fact, he just blames me for all his negative emotions.

I even called his mom because I thought she would be able to calm him down and help him see what his doing is not okay. But while I was on the phone to her he called me a weirdo and said I was just like every other trash girl out there. Send help! Men are evil sent by Satan ( okay not all of them but if I don’t laugh I’m going to spend the rest of the night crying.) Can’t believe how I’ve been treated.

Sorry I noticed a typo. Since he won’t be with the kids*

OP posts:
JustKeepSwimmingJust · 10/01/2025 21:22

“So fast forward to last night he kicked a chair in front of our daughter out of anger”

Leave

Endofyear · 10/01/2025 22:33

He sounds awful but I do think calling his mother is odd. Why should she calm him down? He's a grown man who should be able to control his temper! If I were you, I'd get a job, seek legal advice and make plans to leave. It doesn't sound like he is a loving partner at all and you deserve better.

FieldInWhichFucksAreGrownIsBarren · 10/01/2025 22:37

He sounds like a royal cunt. Leave.

MadnessIsMyMiddleName · 10/01/2025 22:37

Endofyear · 10/01/2025 22:33

He sounds awful but I do think calling his mother is odd. Why should she calm him down? He's a grown man who should be able to control his temper! If I were you, I'd get a job, seek legal advice and make plans to leave. It doesn't sound like he is a loving partner at all and you deserve better.

This!

You deserve better OP. Start gathering info about his business now, without him being aware, so that when you do leave, he isn't able to hide money from you. Then take the bastard to the cleaners! Grrrrr! I HATE MEN LIKE THIS!!!

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