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Not wanting to be in my friends wedding because her fiancé tried to kiss me years ago then messaged me recently

3 replies

qops · 10/01/2025 18:17

Years ago on a night out he kept trying to kiss me on my cheek which I kept saying no to and even went mental and screamed not to touch me. Then he kept trying to hug me and my friend said aw hug him if you want and I went mental saying no it's all him I've said to leave me alone

Then I spoke to her the next day about this and she saw nothing wrong with it. I distanced myself massively and only saw her if her boyfriend wasn't there

They got engaged a year and a bit later. Since they were engaged I thought things will be fine I'd go over to their house etc. I went over for a night out with my friend and her fiancé gave us a lift there. He tickled my ribs on the way out to the car. He doesn't do this to his my friend. I've never seen them be affectionate.

She has also told me they haven't been intimate in years

Then recently he messaged me about a photo I posted of myself which could be seen "innocently" but also could be seen as flirting. I've never messaged him. I told my friend about it and she's totally fine about it.

I must stress in no way have I flirted, been suggestive, spent any time alone with him at all. I will speak away to him with my friend present and have a laugh the three of us. But in no way would this imply I'm okay for this behaviour. It enrages me. I'm at a loss of what to do.

OP posts:
Cerialkiller · 10/01/2025 18:22

I wouldn't go and I would tell friend why.

Tbh their relationship sounds bizarre. No sex life or affection but he's allowed to hug and touch other women?

Is your friend vulnerable in some way? Who would tolerate or normalise that if they weren't damaged or being controlled or similar.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 10/01/2025 18:23

I think you need to drop your friend before she comes out with the threesome suggestion.

Hufflemuff · 10/01/2025 19:37

Why get married if they haven't been intimate in years.

It seems like he's gagging for some fanny and your mates accepted that he's going to find it elsewhere. Perhaps she would even rather it be with someone she knows! Hint hint!

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