AIBU to not take parcels or let the housing association repairs team in for the neighbour?

[AmITheURNeighbour]

Even though she has a very very sick child whose in and out of hospital?

I feel like a really horrible person for saying no.

Basically neighbour and I rent from the same housing association, she lives opposite.

She has an extremely sick child, we’re talking wheelchair bound on oxygen in and out of hospital sick. I’ve seen ambulances outside the house and she and the child (who I’d guess is around 7) disappear for months at a time, so assuming they’re in hospital.

Housing Association have asked me a couple of times now (via the housing officer) if I would keep hold of a key and they’d let me know when repairs where needed for the neighbours house and I can just let them in. I don’t want to. I don’t want the responsibility, I don’t want to have to make sure I’m in for her repairs as well as mine, I just don’t want to. What happens if neighbours stuff goes missing? What if I need to work when they're there? (I keep an eye on them in my own home, as in watch them and make sure they only go in the rooms they're supposed to) What if the works not right? I just don't want the responsibility.

Similarly neighbour has asked me to take and keep hold of parcels because she has no-one else, no family, and very few friends.

I have a child with SN, who I’m a single parent to. So I do get how hard it is when you have no-one (I at least have ExH who doesn’t agree DC has SN but does take DC for a weekend EOW which gives me a break) but I have enough to be dealing with in my own life and DCs without having to think about someone else and another house.

AIBU? I feel like I am

Exactly what I was going to say, I would take the parcels to help her out.
Housing association need to find another way to solve their issue with letting repair people in

Why have you been asked ?
Are there no other neighbours ?
You said she lives across but has she no neighbours next door ?
Could you do one and another neighbour do another ?
My goodness there's no community anymore.
A single woman with nobody and a child who is likely to pass before her.
It's rare for housing associations to even ask this so they must be desperate.
I'm a mother of 4, 3 of whom are autistic and I would be privileged to have been the one to be asked to help this family out.
How much of an inconvenience would it really be ?
The contractors would work around you for repairs, so if you weren't in they would rearrange to suit you.
Then they would put the key back in your letterbox when done.
Put her parcels in her hallway as you have the key. No problem.

Definitely no to the HA and their tradesmen - that's their problem to sort.
For parcels, I'd say it depends what they are. We used to get deliveries of incontinence products for our DD. It was several large boxes. Likewise the delivery of her special feed for tube feeding. No way would I have expected a neighbour to take those in, never mind hang on to them indefinitely. And the firm who once dropped no less than 14 boxes with my NDN as they hadn't told me they were delivering and I was out, certainly got a piece of my mind.

@DoubleRainbow3 Housing Officer said we're the only 2 HA properties on the road, so literally I am the only person that can be asked by them. Apparently they suggested to the neighbour she ask me about the parcels as obviously they know me/my situation - they haven't shared her situation with me or mine with her, everything I know about her is just guess work from seeing her. I've put her first and surname into social media when I've had parcels but nothing came up that looks like it could be her so I just left that.

Honestly I think they should put in a key safe and install a parcel safe. It’s a bit much to expect you to keep stuff for months on end.

I wouldn’t like the responsibility of supervising tradies either, If something goes missing or is broken then it’s going to be a headache.

I think people have been unfair in their replies. I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all, having the key for repairs etc is a lot to ask of someone.

With the parcels the odd one now and again I personally would be fine with, but not regularly or too many and I would expect them to be collected quickly, I wouldn’t want someone else’s large parcels in my house for longer than a day max.

I don't think you are unreasonable or selfish, you have a special needs child, parcels that are big and in your house 4 or 5 months, is not on.
I am sorry for your neighbour but your quality of life should not be impacted.

You are not being unreasonable or selfish. Holding a key for someone is quite a responsibility and you don't even know this person or begin to be able to judge how they'd react should something unfortunate happen.

Taking in parcels can also be a real chore. I've done this before and regretted it as I've had to store them for week and keep going round to see if people are in. Like the key thing, it's something I'd do for a friend but not a stranger.

I feel for this ladies situation, as I'm sure you do too, but it's not your responsibility and please try not to let refusing bother you. Some of these responders saying things like "do the simple" thing baffle me to be honest!