...to think DH not buying me a b'day present is a Very Bad Sign

[BEAUTlFUL]

We've been married 6 years and have a DS (5) and a new baby boy (3 months). It was my birthday 2 weeks ago. DH took the day off work and hired a little boat so the two of us could go up the river, which was lovely and all his idea... But No Present.

I don't know how badly to take it. He still says he's planning on getting something, but nothing has appeared. Grr. Normally he is v romantic on my birthday, and makes ornate cards for me (he carves them out of wood or stone!) but again, NOTHING this year.

We also have only shagged once since the baby was born. Who else thinks he's probably completely gone off me?

I think once with a 3 month old baby is quite good going, sounds like the boat thing was the present, if you really are worried the only person to talk to is him.

I'd think the boat trip was a lovely idea & that he might not have had time for carving - and also you don't know what he's planning. I will have been married 28 years in a couple of weeks - if I'd given up on our marriage the first time DH didn't buy me a present, we probably wouldn't have made it to the church.

Isn't hiring the boat a present? My DP doesn't always get me an actual 'present' present (i.e. something I can open) but often plans a day out, takes me for a meal, etc which I see as much better than just a present - shows he's put more thought into it.

One year he didn't get me anything or plan anything either and said he was planning something for the next month but it never happened. I was a bit peeved but just put it down to his thoughtlessness scattiness rather than thinking he'd gone off me.

Re the shagging, I don't think I even felt like it until 3 months old! I would guess he's tired rather than going off you.

beautiful, I'm afraid to say I don't think any of those are signs that he's gone off you! when I think back to ds being 3 months, everything 'normal' was well out of the window! eek. but it has returned to the way it was... if your dh doesn't realise how important a pressie is, gently make him aware . Otherwise, just give yourselves both a little time. Don't know about you, but I felt vastly unsexy in those early days. Getting a babysitter, putting on make up and something slinky but forgiving and going out for a meal together made a huge difference!

At least he did something, the boat trip was lovely and might even have been the 'present' but he feels it wasn't enough now and is trying to think of something to amke up for it.
Why did he say eh was goign to get you something else??

As for the sex, do you initiate it? He might be afraid of hurting you rather than gone off you, he mgiht think you're (Rightly so) absolutely knackered loking after a 3month old and not want to give you mroe to worry about!

Until DS was three months old, I meant!!

He planned the boat trip, which sounds just lovely, and you have a 3 month old so no I don't think this is a Bad Sign.

Don't worry about the sex just now either. Take things as they come for thenext couple of months, don;t mention your birthday again and just see how things go.

The boat trip was a lovely way of the two of you spending time together. If he'd gone off you, would think he'd just 'get' you something, rather than making a special time for the two of you.

If I had a boat trip, I'd be thrilled and assume that was the present.

It was just my DH's birthday on Friday and we have a new 5 month old DD. His present was me babysitting while he went to the pub with 10 friends, and I know that meant more to him than any book/ CD/ set of hankies. So I do suspect YABU on this occasion.

You are all so lovely and soothing!! Thanks!!

I thought he was probably having an affair.

My god girl! An affair! If he was, he?d either be ignoring you, little eye contact, touching or lavishing small gifts every other day due to guilt. I agree with the other posters here. The boat ride was a lovely gift. Did you say anything to him about not getting a gift?

my dh hasn't written a poem to / about me since dd was born 6 years ago. No sign of him having an affair, though!

Sounds to me like he had no idea what to buy you and panicked (you're BOTH tired, presumably?). Spending time with you in this context is much more indicative of love.

I do appreciate these responses about the trip being the present are all very grown-up and correct. But I'd be sulking in a very childish manner thinking 'where IS my present?'

I think the boat trip was a lovely idea!

It was my birthday yesterday and I got an iron (and a lovely watch and a garden gnome ) The iron was a joke, and it is pink and very nice, but all the same!

I would actually prefer a lovely pre arranged day out rather than presents. It shows he has put a lot of thought into your day.