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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To request a work from home day for my partner

45 replies

Sundaycoffee · 09/01/2025 02:00

He's been visiting family abroad for a couple of weeks and is due to return back late next Wednesday (flight lands at 9pm after a 30 hour multi flight trip). He works in the office twice a week on specific days and his return to work the next day falls on an office day.
He spoke about potentially asking his boss if he would be able to work from home the next day instead of having to get up at 7am for the 90 min drive to the office but never got round to speaking to him before he left for his trip
I imagine he will be absolutely shattered the next day and briefly thought about asking his boss for a work from home day on his behalf as a nice surprise for him on his return.
It's a small agency of 14 people or is that totally unprofessional?

OP posts:
UncharteredWaters · 09/01/2025 02:01

Totally unprofessional and undermining.

He’s not a 5yr old asking for an excusal from PE.

he’s an adult in a professional environment who can send an email.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 09/01/2025 02:01

Yes it's unprofessional for your partner to call your boss for a day off
Obviously

thaegumathteth · 09/01/2025 02:02

God no don't do that

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/01/2025 02:10

He's old enough to email his boss.

Sundaycoffee · 09/01/2025 02:10

🤣🤣🤣 I'm tired and briefly thought it would be something I would be hugely grateful to be told after a long trip but yes I see that it probably would be a bit strange now thinking about it! I have met his boss a few times so not a total stranger. I just know he won't bother then will hate himself when it comes to it, but I guess that's his problem!

OP posts:
InWalksBarberalla · 09/01/2025 02:10

Please don't do this. I'd be horrified if my partner contacted my work place.

TappyGilmore · 09/01/2025 02:13

Do not do this. So inappropriate.

The only time you would contact his workplace is if he is so incapacitated that he cannot do it himself. Returning from a planned trip at the scheduled time is absolutely not a reason to do it.

Also if he is not back until Wednesday then he has plenty of time to still contact them himself, if he wants to.

Bearhunt468 · 09/01/2025 02:14

Remind him to contact boss but do not do it for him

KeiraNightly · 09/01/2025 02:14

Nooo 🫣

iamnotalemon · 09/01/2025 02:19

Umm. Could he not email or text his boss himself and ask?

Rachmorr57 · 09/01/2025 02:26

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

yipyipyop · 09/01/2025 02:29

He can do it himself!

Getinther · 09/01/2025 02:40

What a strange idea lol

3LemonsAndLime · 09/01/2025 02:43

Absolutely no. For all the good reasons above.

Also, gently, as this was something you even thought to do (enough to think and ask Mumsnet), I think your boundaries on what is appropriate when it comes to doing things for people you love, might be a bit skewed. Perhaps time to take a step back and look at what you do with a critical eye, to check you aren’t overstepping, or perhaps getting close to overstepping on other areas too.

I say this as this is just a very hard no, and it’s a bit worrying you didn’t see it that way, but rather felt like you would love it if the situation was reversed and someone did it for you. I would hope you would be furious and mortified if someone did this to you.

Getinther · 09/01/2025 02:43

If I was his boss I probably wouldn’t even reply to you or if I did I’d remind you that you’re not an employee and he needs to communicate with your partner directly.

Aside from the fact it’s unprofessional, while I’m sure you have good intentions, imagine if someone had an abusive partner who was arranging their work schedule behind their back.

Shoxfordian · 09/01/2025 05:04

No, you're not his Mum and he's not a six year old needing a day home from school

Positivenancy · 09/01/2025 05:14

No. My dp is one of my line managers and his boss is my boss too and even then i wouldn’t do it!!

LittleBigHead · 09/01/2025 06:57

After a 30 hour trip there’ll be tiredness and jet lag. He really should take that day off work as a further day of annual leave. Otherwise he risks that his work will be of low quality.

Huskytrot · 09/01/2025 07:02

LittleBigHead · 09/01/2025 06:57

After a 30 hour trip there’ll be tiredness and jet lag. He really should take that day off work as a further day of annual leave. Otherwise he risks that his work will be of low quality.

This. On top of the obvious NO that everyone else has said, I also wouldn't want to highlight to boss what a state he'll likely be in! Silly not to have planned the trip better.

NeedToChangeName · 09/01/2025 07:49

Ha ha, are you his Mum?

But, seriously, I agree with PP about thinking about boundaries in a relationship

DancefloorAcrobatics · 09/01/2025 07:54

I assume he planned his trip? Si he knew that he's due in the office the next day?
Leave him to it. He's an adult.

CircleofWillis · 09/01/2025 07:58

Why not suggest to him that he emails his boss.

In fact a day off rather than a work from home day would be more appropriate on his return after a 30 hour journey.
How experienced a driver is he? Will he be putting himself and others at risk if he drives 90 minutes while jet lagged and exhausted?

Gettingslimmer · 09/01/2025 08:02

God can you even imagine, I’d be furious and so embarassed if my husband did this. Your partner is an adult, if he wants to work from home he can message his manager.

GetyourheadoutoftheovenIris · 09/01/2025 08:04

Maybe has already emailed and is going to surprise you?

I’m with everyone else, absolutely don’t do it!

saraclara · 09/01/2025 08:10

The wife of one of my colleagues did something along those lines more than 40 years ago. I and those other ex colleagues that I'm still friends with still talk about it!

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