6yo won't sleep and I'm ready to explode

[DorianMeile]

I've tried everything. Tea at 5, healthy snack if he gets hungry, healthy diet, no caffeine and low sugar. Lots of exercise after school (biking/playground). Limited screen time and no tv after tea. Bath at 7, out by 7:30, pj's, bed, teeth brushed, stories - always still wide bloody awake. Room is dark with gro clock. Blackout curtains for summer. He's wired until 11/12 sometimes. Talking, up and down, says his brain won't turn off. Lots of support from school and on adhd pathway. There must be something I can do. I'm at my wits end!

Brown noise? Natural sounds

Get him a Gro Clock and tell him not to get out of bed until it turns yellow in the morning. Make sure there are repercussions for waking you beforehand, if it's not an emergency. He can stay in bed looking a books or doing something quiet, but not get out.

They all try it on re avoiding bedtime, I think it's something you have to be a bit strict about.

I’m an ADHDer in my 40s. I’ve always had trouble sleeping. It’s not exactly that I’m not tired, but my brain isn’t sleepy. If I try to lie still and quiet before my brain is ready, it goes haywire. It can be pretty distressing.

When I talk to neurotypicals about the sleep thing, they generally insist on something like “you mustn’t do anything novel or stimulating at bedtime” - but that’s not good advice for me. I need something stimulating enough that my brain feels like it’s being given the choice to remain engaged if it wants to. Ideally, though, it’ll be something that doesn’t need too much physical engagement from me. Audiobooks are often ideal, though I see that your DS has problems with finding the “right” thing to listen to (I struggle with this sometimes, too.)

Luckily, I was a fast reader, and books have always been my bedtime thing. But another thing I used to do as a child, before I had a cassette player (yeah, I’m old!) available for audiobooks, was to tell myself stories. They were weirdly long and boring stories about mundane things like going to the shops or what I would do at school the next day! But I could lie down and close my eyes while I told these stories, so the barrier to falling asleep was very low. I still do something similar at times - I put on one of those apps that plays ambient noise like sea sounds, or the sound of rain on a roof, and sort of imagine where I am and what I’m doing in the environment conjured up by the sound. Maybe your DS could try telling himself stories at night - either out loud or in his head? And perhaps he would find ambient sounds (rather than white noise) interesting?

Investigate melatonin gummies
Warm Bath/shower
Snuggly blankets/weighted blankets
Warm milk
Don’t allow DC to lie in after 7am (including weekends)
Set bedtime a little bit later
Read a chapter or two of book to DS or Audiobook
Dont engage in conversation after the story “tell me in the morning, it’s not time to chat now”
Of you need to stay with them , take a book of your own and read while they drop off.
Train DC to stay in room , looking at picture books or listening to audiobooks alone (so you can go to bed or have some time for you)
Check that there is nothing giving DC the heebie-jeebies (thus avoiding bedtime)

With my ADHD dc at this age, I allowed them to read books for as long as they liked or lights out, no getting out of bed. He was a prolific reader for a while but, eventually got into habit of just trying to sleep after a chapter of a book

We encourage/allow late nights at weekends but do not allow lie-ins, this seems to help and he is usually ready for sleep early on Sunday evenings.

I think you are right to accept that DC needs less sleep than the average. The average is just that, some need more some need less. Whatever works for your family is best.

That's really hard. I'm sorry!