Possibility of pregnancy when in mid 40"s

[IP7689]

Am 45 years old, married (finally) to a wonderful man and wish I could have children with him. Financially in a good place and this is the first time I've felt that I would love to have his children. I've never been pregnant before, am still OK period/hormone-wise but my age is obviously massively against me. Shit that 'the one' turns up in my 40's! I'm not sure I should be considering it and have absolutely no idea if it is remotely possible to have children this late in life but would really appreciate other people's experiences. We are both the same age, non-smokers, non-drinkers and very active so generally in good health and very secure in our outlook and future.

Age makes natural conception less likely, but it is still possible. Have you discussed it with him?

I had a colleague who married in her mid-40s and she managed to have one DC with her DH. There are lots of tips for boosting your fertility and giving yourself the best chance possible. Just Google 'getting pregnant in your 40s' and you'll find them.

It’s certainly possible. I’d be deluding you if I said, “Yeah! Easy!” I’m 52 and have periods like clockwork, as do many women my age. But you don’t see 52 year olds regularly having babies, if ever. I probably don’t ovulate often, if at all. But 45 year olds? Yes! Much more likely to get pregnant (not easy or a cakewalk, but not impossible) and I’ve known a couple of local women who had their first at 46. It’s absolutely not at all hopeless. What I’d do in your shoes is invest in ovulation kits. Chart every single month with a clear blue ovulation kit. Ovulation is wonky in our 40s. Anovulation (period without ovulation) bites hard in our 40s. Having periods doesn’t mean you’re regularly ovulating. So absolutely invest in ovulation kits so that you know when exactly to get to work with your hubby. Congratulations on finding such a wonderful man. Don’t lose sight of that gift. This in itself is a blessing. I do hope you get what you both long for.

I know several people who had unplanned pregnancies in their mid 40s. I’m 44 and ovulate right on time every month. Though the baby factory is very much closed. There’s no reason not to try and I wouldn’t saddle yourself with doom and gloom expectations. Some people struggle in their 20s and others don’t struggle at all in their 40s. You don’t know which you are unless you try. I would move on to fertility treatment quickly though if no success after 6 months ish.

Unlikely but possible. More so if willing to consider IVF with donor eggs. I'd be getting in front of a fertility consultant asap for a work up (both of you)

Yes we've talked a lot as not using protection. He's so supportive if it happens naturally (unlikely) and would never pressure me one way or another. He would make a fantastic father and there is this niggling voice in my head that tells me this is our absolute last chance. We've not used contraception for a year with no joy so it would take a discussion about being proactive (IVF etc). I just don't want to be selfish by wanting a child at our age. I'm literally the last of my 'family line' which makes me sad in a way.

And please- advice on ovulation kis/fertility consultants much appreciated. A bit ashamed of my ignorance so grateful for advice!

Clear blue ovulation kit was really helpful for me (the kit is a bit more advanced now, I can see).

I have friends who’ve had subsequent babies not the first in mid 40s and a friend who met her husband late like you and had a first at 43

It took me a year to conceive and I was only 33. Probably worth some tests at this point but it doesn't always mean there's going to be an issue (I got pregnant the same week we had the blood/sperm tests - results came back fine!)

Consider donor eggs - takes the stress and blame out of trying to conceive when our eggs aren't playing ball! Reprofit in CZ has a good reputation.

Booked myself a GP appointment just to get the ball rolling and find out where I am...

Recommended books Taking Charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler and It starts with the egg by Rebecca Fett.

ovulation kits can have their place for monitoring but sex every other day throughout covers more bases.

It's entirely possible.

• clearblue ovulation tests.
• target ovulation rather than dtd every 2 days like a younger person would
• take folic acid whilst trying to prevent problems later on.
• don't become complacent at the end of the pregnancy- younger women think they're out of the woods after a certain date but beware of placenta health in late pregnancy.

-don't worry too much about the risk of complications, they are overstated. And having a baby younger is not a guarantee of health.

• be prepared for false starts and chemical pregnancies
• the end of pregnancy mid 40s is physically very HARD. You might need to stop work much earlier than a younger woman.

That said it's far more common than people make out and you might get pregnant easier than you think.

I would look into private IVF immediately if you are serious about it. It's highly unlikely to happen naturally regardless of supplements and healthy lifestyle and even with IVF the odds are against you but if you're willing to do several rounds it's definitely possible - get any embryos genetically tested before implanting to avoid wasting time at your age would be my advice. I had mine at 42 and 44 via IVF, managed to get pregnant naturally several times at 42/43 but all ended in miscarriages as eggs are obviously much lower quality by then.

Lots of sex and as little anxiety and stress as possible would be my approach if I were you. If it's meant to be it will be but be careful about being so focused on it that you put too much pressure on your relationship.

The cut off for IVF on the NHS is usually 42. If you've been trying for a year and having sex every few days, it's unlikely that you will conceive naturally. A woman 45+ has a less than 5% chance each month. Your best chance is private investigation and treatment.

Also be aware that learning disabilities, autism and chromosomal abnormalities are increased with advanced maternal and paternal age, as well as multiple pregnancy.

Father father born when his mum was 51 - who knows what has happened in the past. May be some had kids even all the way until they had ovulation

one missing 's sorry

Definitely possible . My great gran hsd 5 kids over 40 - last at 47 👍

I really would try the clear blue ovulation tests with just once per cycle on day of ovulation. We had 0% success with regular sex and 100% success with that method 5 times with 3 full term... age not far off and older dh. We fell pregnant on first try every time with this method, almost felt full proof for us.

At least give it a try whilst waiting for IVF.... Those clearblue digital tests really are worth it. Idiscovered I was ovulating way later in the cycle than the other signs indicated.

I had my first at 38 and second at 46. Similar to you, healthy and active lifestyle. Pregnant within two months of trying each time. Good luck X
edited to add I had healthy cycles ( and still do)

Have you been using contraception since you met him? I'd stop taking the pill right away and have sex as often as possible.

Then have private fertility checks for both of you.

Just some tips to add to the thread;

1. Ubiquinol is supposed to be a good supplement.

(Ubiquinol is a form.of Q10, some people think Q10 is fine, some that Ubiquinol is better).

1. Older women may ovulate earlier in their cycle (not mid cycle).

1. Many clinics, if you consider fertility treatment, will not advise IVF with own eggs over 45. They will advise donor eggs.

(Just because of the expense and effort etc. Vs likelihood of success with own eggs post 45).

1. If you used your own eggs, IVF would encourage you to produce as many eggs as possible, but not necessarily the best quality. If you try to get pregnant naturally, your body is more likely to select a decent quality egg or not stay pregnant with a poor quality egg.

It is obviously still worth doing harmony test etc. though.

I don't know MN always changes all numbers to 1 when you post.a

Five. Male factor infertility is responsible for roughly half of fertility issues.

This is somehow not known/ignored.
Even in the 21st century.

He needs to get checked out too, and it's usually faster/simpler do that.

Any previous children of his (?) do not rule out issues now.