Christening Dilemma

[godparentdilemma]

I really want to have my baby Christened, she's almost 8 months old.

But I find myself delaying it because I don't have anyone I can ask to be Godparents. One of my siblings is very atheist and went off on a rant when I said I wanted to get them Christened, the other is not very interested in my baby and hates children in general. I potentially have one friend I could ask but I wouldn't really want her husband to be Godfather. Aside from that, I don't have anyone to ask. DH doesn't have much family, and we don't have lots of close friends. We have a lot of distant relatives and people we know in a somewhat professional capacity who we would invite to the Christening though.

I know that the church (CoE) would potentially appoint people to act as Godparents, but I wouldn't be happy with strangers being my baby's Godparents.

I feel like I will be embarrassed at the service, most Christenings I've been to people have 4+ people, everyone will know I don't have anyone close to me. AIBU to feel worried about this? Has anyone else with a small circle had their children Christened and how was it?

Some churches only allow 2 godparents so there's no shame in having only 2. I don't think you have to ask people as couples, so could you ask your friend who you would consider, and then you just need your husband to choose one godfather from his side?

Sorry it's causing you stress, anything that feels like it turns into a popularity contest is never nice when your circle is small.

I hope you can make some decisions and have a lovely day celebrating your baby.

Is there noone you can ask at your church who you trust and think will be a good Godly influence in their lives? Why are the people at your church strangers? Maybe take some time to get to know them and see how you feel then.

Just ask a couple of members of the congregation that you're close to.

You don’t have to have the husband if you don’t want to. For my DS’s Godparents we didn’t have any couples. I have 4 Godsons and my DH is only Godfather to one of them (his DB’s child).

Friends from your church?

You can also just have one - i only have a godmother and no godfather and it was totally fine

Also - my church was fine with having one that wasnt in the faith as long as the other was if that also helped

You can have his many or few as you like, ask your friend you don’t need her husband as well. And maybe a friend of your husband?. I had my father as a godparent there’s no age restriction. But tbh just your friend would be fine

Do you not chat to anyone from church?

Ask if they do coffee meetings so you can get to know the congregation better?

Have you not got any friends through baby groups?

You don't need the spouse of a godparent to also be a godparent. It's fine for your friend to be a Godmother without her DH being a Godfather.

In my family we don't appoint relatives as Godparents anyway. It's fine not to appoint your or DHs siblings.

The obvious choices would be whoever you had as bridesmaid & best man at your wedding?

Two is totally fine. One is probably ok - check with the minister.

No one will judge you by the numbers standing up with you, I promise.

You do not have to have family
If you ask one person you don't have to ask their spouse
2 Godparents is fine
The GP ought to be Christians - the whole point of GP is to nurture your child spiritually

You need to think outside the box. Who do you know who is a Christian, or at least not antagonistic towards Christianity? It doesn’t have to be family or a close friend. The job of a godparent is not very onerous and virtually everyone would be delighted to be asked. Have you been to church or to any church groups like mums and tots or a women’s fellowship group? If you are serious about bringing your child up as a Christian it would be a good idea to start attending your local church for some of their activities even if you don’t feel ready to commit to attending Sunday service each week. That way you are bound to find someone you get on with. Maybe a fellow mum for example.
I’m sure the vicar would be happy to discuss your dilemma with you and is very unlikely to ask you to accept total strangers as godparents. .
Good luck with your quest. Christenings are wonderful occasions. They are a chance to gather the whole family together with the little one at the centre. They don’t have to be ultra religious. So if I were you I wouldn’t give up on your desire of having one. Godspeed.

Just had another thought. Does it have to be a C of E christening? If not you could try asking at your local Methodist church. You don’t need godparents there.

Just ask the one person or the friendliest member of the congregation of your church?

I would ask people who you know from church to be the Godparents - is there anyone who has been particularly important to you or your husband in your own faith journeys?

I don't have a godfather. I only have a godmother.

I wouldn't worry about the atheist sibling necessarily, one of myDS's godfathers is a Muslim by birth and agnostic by belief. And defo if there are ppl at church I'm sure they would be thrilled to be asked! I have loads of godchildren but my husband none (he is super introverted so not many friends) and when a family asked him to be godfather to their kids because they'd seen how lovely a dad he is, he was really pleased.

Church of Scotland so might be different
We had our children christened all together (it was very important to my MIL that we did, neither of us were bothered) and we had a very low key christening. We didn't have god parents, the minister asked the congregation as a whole to guide them if I remember correctly.

In the Church of England, the official godparents need to be baptised and ideally confirmed, so they are able to make the promises about bringing the child up in the Christian faith.

Agree with the suggestions above. Probably start by thinking about people in your church who are likely to be a guiding/positive influence with your child. You could always discuss the dilemma with your vicar, they may well have been through this before and could advise. It may be possible to christen without godparents (I’m not sure).

Two is enough even one

It would make most sense to ask people from your church, as the point of godparents is to help raise them in the church

Are your or your DH's godparents still living?

You could ask if any would go on a generation further

Agree with those upthread, ask some people who attend the church you go to.

Do you have to have godparents? It's a bit of a tokenistic role isn't it; rather that an official legal role.