to tell my dad I DON'T WANT a tv for my birthday?

[SmugColditz]

he rang me yesterday, and asked me if I wanted a 15 inch flatscreen for my birthday. I really, really don't. My living room TV is the only one that gets used, and it only gets used by the kids. I don't watch the television. I never ever have.

So I said "No thank you" and he then told me what a lovely tv it was, and how my tv is rubbish (it is, to be fair, it switches itself off sometimes and takes 1/2 an hour for the picture to warm up). And I said "No thank you, I wouldn't use it, I don't want a 15 inch flatscreen"

He then offered me a 20 in tv instead. And I said "No thank you, I'm really grateful, but I don't want a television for my birthday. Thank you anyway."

So we agreed to this and rung off.

3 minutes later, he range me back.

"MY GF says she'll pay for it."

Was I being unreasonable (ok yes I was) to have a paddy down the phone?

I know it sounds really brattish, but the reason I don't want the tv is that ours is fine. I don't watch tv. I do not want a 'spare'. It's not that I want something else instead, it's just that I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER TELLY

Message withdrawn

No YANBU. It would be silly to let him spend his money on something y ou don't want

I think YANBU btw

because I ended up with a massive TV courtesy of dh's parents after a similar conversation

however to play devil's advocate - yours sounds like it is on its way out. Sorry. What if it breaks down completely in 3 weeks/ 3 months time?

YANBU obv, he isn't listening to you. Tell him you'll take the cash instead though

Oh no, she offered when I pointed out that he was scrabbling for money last month. She's very nice.

And had a 15 inch tv merely been presented on my Bday I would have cooed delightedly ... but he gave me a choice.

And now he's huffy because I didn't choose what he wanted me to.

And frankly I don't want such an expensive present,I don't want to still be treated like a child, he gets very upset when I buy things second hand, but I LIKE bargain hunting! He complains that non of his children are materialistic because of our mother, but materialism hasn't made him happy!

I have a little 12 inch in a cupbord upstairs so I don't even need a spare.

colditz that was exactly what I thought about the pil tv

but a few years on I do admit that I was more resentful about the fact that they solved anything by throwing money at it, whereas I am a tightarse who was brought up to use the New One From A Shop as a last resort

it wasn't about the tv at all; and I am actually v glad of it now

I just came back from the park with my dad and the kids. Lovely time had by all and I did try to explain about the not really watching tv thing. He argued that the kids do ... but [selfish] it's my bloody birthday, they've just had theirs!

There are three televisions in this house. Two of them in the storage above my wardrobes. Stay strong, I salute you

I think the problem with dads is that they don't know what to get for their daughters but they want to show them that they love them loads. Hence the random expensive presents. Also the dad feels that he is giving a present not only to hos daughter but also, through her, to the grandchildren. My dad for sure says it through gifts. I have only this afternoon accepted a large aluminium extendable ladder. I am sure it will come in handy and his 9 mo granddaughter will get lots of use out of it...

So no YANBU but at the same time he's a dad and prone to this sort of stuff. Can you think of anything of similar value you can ask for instead?

Oooh, I could do with a big ladder, I've curtains that need hanging! Can I borrow your dad ChukkyPig?

I agree with ChukkyPig.

Also, it sounds as if he's been given a choice of 2 tvs and he doesn't need a new tv and as it's your birthday he's hoping to offload.

Tell him to sell it and give you the cash