Would you let go of your maternity leave for a better opportunity

[Livenlearn]

I am on mat leave with a 3 month old baby, I saw some really good job roles posted in organizations which are very suitable for my profile and I might get the role as well.
I am in civil services and have got generous mat leave, however these roles would want me to start within next 3 months. I feel really torn between either I should wait it out and enjoy my time with baby as she won't be this little again or go for some dream roles and secure future for my family.
These roles would be a next level up from my current role and they don't come often. Can do with some advice. Thanks

I went back when ds was 6mo and would do so again but I wouldn't go back earlier if I had the choice as ds was bf and didn't take bottles so 6mo was really the point at which he could be reasonably left with food and cups of milk.

I suppose I’d been wanting to know how secure these new roles are, what are their maternity benefits like (assuming you might like more children), what sort of hours and how would that work with childcare etc.

I wouldn’t necessarily be put off by having to shorten my maternity leave if the opportunity was really going to be for the family’s longer term benefit.

I say this as someone who took 3 months and 4 months mat leave respectively with my two DC but went back to a PT role with great flexibility that I love.

You can only do what you feel you can live with and be happy with. Personally, I took a year with both my kids and it didnt feel long enough!! 6 months would have broke my heart.

I have an elder DC who is very young as well and this baby is my last one. I took an year off with elder DC. She's also bf.

I’m of the same opinion. I would never judge someone for returning to work earlier, especially for a dream job that doesn’t come around often. If you know in your heart it would be a good choice for you to- do it. I personally felt like a year maternity was a good amount of time for me. At 6 months I couldn’t bare the thought of returning.

I think I will be heartbroken to send such young baby to nursery.

I mean people do it - especially in countries where you get weeks of maternity rather than months. If you feel like you’d regret ending maternity leave sooner, don’t do it. You might have your dream job but you’ll be wishing you were spending time with your baby whilst they are young. I really don’t think I could do it. But some woman can and find it OK. You need to follow your heart

you can apply for the jobs and consider your options if you are offered an interview.

either way with young child I’d look at the travel to work time, shame to have maybe 2hours dead time away from baby or work

Could your DP take paternity leave to avoid nursery if that would help? Could you negotiate part time to start with or delay start? I would apply and see how it goes and see what you can agree if you get the role.

I should add that my decision to return at 6mo was to secure a more senior and flexible position which allowed me more flexibility around holidays and drop-offs / pick-ups and particularly school starting etc. Basically I sacrificed 3-6mo of the baby years for more presence in the toddler/preschool and school start year.

Whereas 13 weeks with my eldest was plenty. Everyone's different

My Plan was to take 12 months off

Looking for some suggestions if someone has been in similar circumstances.

Apply for the job; if you’re successful you can negotiate the start date. Many companies would be flexible for the right candidate, and if they’re not, you’ve still got a job to go back to. Also investigate whether your DH could do shared parental leave so if you went back when DC is 6 months could he do 3-6 months of paternity leave?

It’s a short term sacrifice for long term gain by the sound of it.
If these jobs are ultimately better paid, suited to your skills and have good career progression this will provide long term security for your family.

Get more information and weigh it up.

I’m currently on maternity leave and my baby is nearly 9 months, I still don’t feel ready to leave her and personally even for all the money in the world I wouldn’t have gone back earlier, I’ll never get this time with her back whereas for me jobs can come and go, there will always be another opportunity for a promotion or a job change, whether it’s next year or in 5 years, but I’ll never get this time back.

Everyone feels differently though. I have a friend who went back to work early (I think her son was 5 months ish) due to a promotion she really didn’t want to pass up being available and she didn’t regret it at all but it was a slightly different situation in that her husband then took the time off with baby, she went back 4 days a week so still had a day and both sets of grandparents then took over childcare so it wasn’t a case of putting baby in nursery.

Just to flag, if you are leaving for a different organisation you may want to check the terms of your contract re: paying back your current generous leave before making the final decision - the civil service will generally claw back enhanced maternity pay if you don’t return for a month (whether that’s actually returning in person or “returning” and using accrued leave to cover it) at the end of your leave.

Yeah, good point, need to check that.

People only ever got 6 months ago until not that many years back. It's sad whenever you have to return to work.

Yes it is sad whenever you have to go back which is why I said that the OP should establish what she is comfortable with and not what others might have done. It would have killed me personally to go back at 6 months when I had the option of longer but if I had no option then I would have sucked it up and got on with it.

When I think about I feel sad looking at my very cuddly baby that she'll have to go to nursery at the same time I feel sad that if I miss these roles then they may not come back soon again. I guess it's just how life works.

Personally OP, I'd take the job opportunity. Will you spend your future regretting not spending that further 6 months off? Will you spend your future looking at someone else in the job that should have been yours? Which one would you regret more? Which one will give you the biggest benefit to your life and family life?

It’s also worth thinking about needing leave for sick children etc when you’re in a probation period in a new role. I’d be wary of sacrificing goodwill with an existing employer for trying to establish myself in a new role while your baby inevitably picks up bugs etc in nursery. Could your partner help with unexpected sick days?

It's a trade off isnt it? Everything about being a parent is really, we have to make sacrifices all the time. For me, and again I say this from my perspective, I was comfortable sacrificing in the early years. I took a year off with both (but had them close together), went back on a 4 day week and did not push myself for promotion. It did impact me for a few years but they are older now and I've more time again to put into my career and it has taken off again over the last few years. I've lost nothing really. But I would regret not having that time with my kids. The way I see it- I can make up that time with work but I cant ever get those foundation years back with my kids.
Again- this is my personal perspective!

I did. But wasn't bf and baby was with family, which does make a difference. Also I was on redundancy notice anyway so there was less element of choice.

On the CS point, don't these things often drag out somewhat? It might easily take them a few weeks to recruit, interview and make a decision. If it's one that's open to external candidates, that means they'd be prepared for the successful candidate to have a couple of months notice period before starting.