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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist the slapper my H went off with never so much as lays eyes on my dc.?

42 replies

mybrainaches · 04/05/2008 09:25

Given the fact I know thier relationship will not last, if he meets someone else further down the line then fine, but not the one that hand a hand in taking away thier daddy.

OP posts:
Original poster
mybrainaches · 04/05/2008 15:14

quite true of my h morningpaper, he is selfish, thoughtless, has no idea what is appropriate, and unable to feel empathy.

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 04/05/2008 15:19

maybe that's true, but if a man leaves his wife/partner, yes, he is an arse, and yes, the OW should've had more respect for both ehrself and womankind, but he was the one who cheated, he was the one who left and he ios the one that deserves the anger to be directed at him.

I do hope you can sort something out though, I know how terribly hard it can be, even though I ended my relationship with XDP after I caught him with someone else when he got a new GF and the DCs were round ehr hosue I hated it, thing is, he now rarely sees them and they call my DP dad, I'd imagine that hurts a lot more.

Original poster
mybrainaches · 04/05/2008 15:40

dirtysexymummy

By my book any woman who sleeps with a married man, who is still with his wife, in the wifes bed while her dc are sleeping is a slapper, and actually she really is, she is well known for it, most people call her the local bike.

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Janos · 04/05/2008 16:50

I totally symapthise mybrainaches. YANBU to FEEL like this but however seethingly angry it makes you, you can't act on it.

Trust me, I've been there and I know how it feels. Unless you have reason to think your DCs would actually be in danger/neglected then you have to grit your teeth and bear it.

BTW DirtySexyMummy (love your username btw!)
I do think it's actually normal to feel 'angry and jealous' if your partner goes off with someone else!

expatinscotland · 04/05/2008 16:54

'By my book any woman who sleeps with a married man, who is still with his wife, in the wifes bed while her dc are sleeping is a slapper, and actually she really is, she is well known for it, most people call her the local bike. '

I agree.

He's a lowlife slapper, too.

ANYONE who does this to their family is.

Not happy with your spouse?

Get a divorce then. Separate. Before you fuck someone else.

jellybeans · 04/05/2008 17:02

YANBU at all. I think there is something pretty sick about any woman who gets involved with a married man with kids and usually they get their just desserts at some point and i would have no sympathy at all for them, maybe one day she will be explaining to her DC where their daddy is. They are agreeing to be two timed just by agreeing to take part in the affair. If the man cared that much they would have left the marriage first not have to be led by someone. Of course the man is the married one so is also at fault and also is pretty niave in many cases, very few of these relationships last, look at the baggage they start with. I would ask if you could agree to not introduce anyone to the kids until they are used to the seperation.

Janos · 04/05/2008 17:03

I am strongly inclined to agree with you expat.

However, what you could do is suggest to your XH in a reasonable and calm manner (even if it kills you to do it) that you feel it would be better if your DCs do not meet his new 'friend' until they are feeling more settled as they are so upset.

If he's got any decency this will at least make him think.

Original poster
mybrainaches · 04/05/2008 18:10

Exactly expat, if he had had at least the decency to end it first, it would be slightly more bearable, being betrayed I think is the worst part.

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macdoodle · 04/05/2008 18:12

I think we are all just as (more so) angry with the H's - however these are men we loved/married, they are our childrens father, we have to have some sort of relationship with them - a civil one for the DC;s sake....the OW/slapper we owe nothing to she certainly showed us any consideration and so I show her none ...simple really and I call her worse to my RL friends

Original poster
mybrainaches · 04/05/2008 18:16

lol, I know what you mean, when referring to her to H she is called 'your whore' that really gets his back up

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Original poster
mybrainaches · 04/05/2008 18:17

childish I know, but it makes me feel a little better

OP posts:
morningpaper · 04/05/2008 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
mybrainaches · 04/05/2008 18:29

Oh no that wont be me, she will be on to the next bloke before long if her history is anything to go by, when he falls flat on his face I will be cured

On a serious not {though the avove applies) I will be fine before long, because I know deep down we are better off apart.

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morningpaper · 04/05/2008 18:35

good hope you are feeling better soon, 'tis very early days xxx

madmuggle · 04/05/2008 23:50

Do what you need to do for the well-being of yourself and your children. Screw your ex husband.

Original poster
mybrainaches · 05/05/2008 18:59

I would, (in fact I would'nt) but he is busy screwing someone else

I know what you mean rearly

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Judy1234 · 05/05/2008 19:56

YOu could say they will not see you if she is there until he has been going out with her for 6 months say. The courts cannot enforce contact so you would win that, wouldn't you in practice. I know plenty of men who aren't allowed by their ex wives to introduce a girl friend for a good long while and many of them stick to it for a bit.

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