To be annoyed with sil telling my kids they'll get ill

[cupsoftea]

She told my kids they'll get cancer from eating supermarket bread as it has transfats and also from drinking chocolate milk (made from powder if yswim)

She's going to send dh a list of foods to avoid. I don't mind this I just mind her saying things like this at the dinner table in front of my kids - whose gran died of cancer recently.

I'm wondering how to tackle this one - we've not had supermarket bread since but I might get some today for tea & if kids ask I'll say sil completely wrong - how silly can you get etc.

Tell your SIL to have kids of her own to disturb.

Tell you children SIL likes a tipple and it makes her say silly things

Extra vile of her to say such things after you losing your mum.

I suspect SIL might not be quite well.

She does have kids. I don't agree with her parenting choices - I don't say anything though as it's not really my business. Unlike her who gives me tips on how to bring up my kids!! plus just gives her views without thought to anyone.

Sheesh. She has kids of her own and she's got time to criticise you?

I think you're right about telling dcs SIL is silly. Perhaps when she next starts yapping on you could address the children about how people have different beliefs and of course you would never give them harmful food, what a silly idea etc.

Do NOT respond to SIL's preaching. Change the subject abruptly. Spill a drink. Say "That reminds me, speaking of mad ranting lunatics did you hear..."

It is never too soon for children to learn that there are adults who have different views from those of their own parents, and that not all adults are right all the time.

Yes she is talking out of her rear end, but the sooner your kids realise that people sometimes do that, the better for them.

Just laugh at her when she talks rubbish, and let your kids know that you don't agree with her. Challenge her to justify her views and so teach your dc not to take things at face value.

She could be a great input to their education.

wandering trolley & elastic - Will remember the lunatic phrase!!! and it is good for kids to know some people say incorrect things

nocca - lol on the fork idea

Still can't believe it. Feel like saying well at least I bf my kids as she chose not to and I don't leave my kids home alone. But this would get me into a big arguement so I just say nothing.

Just reading this thread, I'm absolutely stunned by the SIl's insensitivity!
Let's look at the facts: Cupsoftea's mother died of cancer recently, the sil comes along, says 'oh, don't give your kids this bread, they'll get cancer because of the transfats'. This is interesting as she (the sil) chose the very disease your mother died of, with a food that is commonly eaten (did you say cups it was cereal type bread - sounds like it was the healthy stuff!), plus you say that you've been holding back in mentioning her parenting methods, she will have picked up on this, trust me, so in my opinion, she was spoiling for a fight! She was trying to wind you up and make you blurt out something and infront of your children too! Nice person isn't she!
Well done in not rising to her bait, or for sinking to her level. I'm angry for you as she knew what your mum died of and she chose to mention this in an underhand way to make you feel bad. Why would she do this?
I think she wanted to make you feel bad so she could feel superior, she has the problem, you behaved impeccably!
I remember cupsoftea (correct me if I'm wrong on this, but I love your mm name, so I think I remember this) was it you who built up the courage to say 'No' to another mum at your school who was taking advantage of your car? Go Cupsoftea - you're building up something of a reputation for saying the right thing at the right time! And in this instance, you held back and didn't let your sil feel superior, brilliant stuff!
With her eco angle, I suppose she grinds all her flour in a windmill and uses her toenail clippings for the crunchy bits on top?
Have your LOs eaten any bread since, or had any chocolate milk?
And I'm sorry to hear of your loss, hope you're ok

Ooohh and, please, please do post her list of 'good foods' here when she sends it! We can all correct it and you can send it back to her.

Also, when she visits again, make sure you've got lots of toast on the go and perhaps put a bit of the 'Hovis' music on to announce when lunch is ready?

lol kkitty (like your name as well) yup I had the thread on a mum asking for lifts for her dd & other peoples kids I didn't know. I should use this new confidence to just say shut up to her!!!

It was cereal bread but I'm making the biggest bread & butter pud when she visits!!!

I'll post her banned foods list as well.......

If anyone wants a quick reply to this kind of bollocks, tell them what the British Dietetic Association and the British Nutrition Foundation say - "There are no bad foods, only bad diets."

Your SIL is a silly cow. I am very sorry for your loss.

thanks krang - Good words to say to her. She's going to get so many of her unhealthy foods when she visits. We had a chinese takeaway & sil was fine about this - just not choc milk powder & supermarket bread!!

I had an aunty who was a bit like this when I was a kid, she was also a hypochondriac. We call her Aunty-biotic

Giving your SIL benefit of the doubt maybe she genuinely believes such nonsense and is misguidedly trying to help you? Sometimes neurotic people transfer their anxieties on to others.

I also had a hypochondriac Aunt who, when we were children, used to warn us about hormones in meat and whatever other food fads were about at the time. Even when we were very young, we were well able to understand that she was a silly woman who meant well.

But I would have a word with SIL, pointing out that her behaviour was not acceptable and was very upsetting under the circumstances. And then feed her lots of her unhealthy foods while she is too embarassed to refuse!

lol triflenorks!!! - we'll call sil that from now on

upwind - if she says anything like this again I will have a word with her but at the table - something like - no this bread doesn't cause cancer if it did my kids wouldn't be eating it. Get your facts right.

When she did say her thoughtless statements I couldn't think what to say & must have looked astonished and she then said - you know it's important to discuss things like this as chidren have to know the real world ffs

God, this kind of food fascism pisses me off so much. As long as kids eat a reasonably balanced diet and get a reasonable amount of exercise, they'll be fine. People like your SIL really are setting children up for eating disorders and food phobias in later life - is that the 'real world' she wants for them?

Incidentally, according to Cancer Research UK, the two biggest factors in developing cancer are smoking and age. One of which we can do nothing whatsoever about, unless your SIL has access to a fountain of youth somewhere. The role of food in cancer is still a very, very contentious area. Perhaps you should refer her to the CRUK website as a decent source of information!

She said what????! 'children have to know the real world'? I've just nearly spilt my tea reading this! She sounds seriously misguided if she thinks children must be told bread will give them cancer and this is the 'real world'... surely it's the role of grown ups and parents to make children's lives as happy and worry free as possible?
What do her children eat? Do they get told that there's no such thing as father christmas/the tooth fairy? Do they have to go out and earn their keep? Grrr, silly woman (the sil)
Cups - are your children ok now about eating bread and chocolate milk?

thanks krang - I'll check out the website & also thanks kkitty. Luckily they still have bread & choc milk despite her comments.thoughtlessness. Her parenting leaves me with many questions but I just let her get on with her way of doing things. She's gone all environmental but the way she parents her kids is detachment parenting.

(looking forward to making white supermarket bread jam sarnies when she's here!!!!)