Don’t wanna do anything anymore

[OneBrightAzureBiscuit]

Hi just don’t know what to do. Had depression and anxiety for years multiple attempts thought I got better. Too much to write down. Lost my best friend she doesn’t wanna know me anymore she ghosted me for no reason when she went into second year at uni. Most people hate me. I am always down and disassociated I don’t know what to do. Everyone is moving into houses, starting families, getting amazing jobs and im just stuck existing day to day without wanting to. I always feel my life is empty even though I’ve got a best friend and great partner. My sister doesn’t want anything to do with me, I’ve been snubbed by friends no one wants to know me. Been abused in all ways by my dad, got r*d by multiple men, too much crap to write down but a lot of pain and misery in my life. Current affairs like cost of living really getting me down. I’m a loser that apparently sponges off the government for benefits even though im too suicidal to work and it’s not really enough to get by on anyway. Can’t win. Anyone have any advice or stories? Anything
thanks if u read til the end I just feel I don’t wanna go on anymore , sorry if the post isn’t clear enough I just feel absolutely defeated

I'm sorry to hear you feel so down and about your previous trauma 💐

Have you read anything about CPTSD? If it resonates, Pete Walker CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving might be helpful.

Have you had therapy? Anxiety UK do affordable therapy if you're on benefits.

When was the last time you had a check up? It might be an idea to visit your GP, tell her how you feel and do some blood tests to see if there's any physical reason behind your anxiety.

How's your diet? Lots of good nutritious food, fresh fruit, vegetables and a good multivitamin, vitamin D and omega 3 as well as magnesium might help.

Do you exercise? Fresh air every day helps. Just a walk around the block would be beneficial.

Journalling could help. An A4 pad and a pen, write down everything in your head.

I'm sorry you are feeling so low.

My advice other than the above which is good, nutrition and exercise can really make a difference to our mood. Is to focus on what you can do and set small achievable goals, which could be to make a healthy dinner, go for a walk, house work, so you have a aim for the day but make sure they're manageable goals don't aim too high, and build on the goals over time.

And recognise what you do have like a great partner, a friend, your health? A bed to sleep on? Food in the cupboard? And not what others have, maybe avoid social media if that helps.

Maybe post in the mental health section? And ask your GP what support they can offer.