To ask if you would bring a present?

[MoHunter]

A relative had their 40th birthday end of December, and DH and I sent them money as our present on their actual birthday. They are also having a black tie party at a relatively posh hotel to celebrate their big 40 coming up in January (due to venue availability and cost they couldn't do it in December). We are going to the party and paying to stay at the hotel overnight as they live 4-5 hrs away, and happy to do so.
My question is, would you bring another present to this kind of party, as we already sent them money on the actual birthday? Or just flowers and a bottle of wine maybe?
Not really been in this situation before so just trying to understand what is expected/normal!

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

YABU - yes bring another present, it is expected

YANBU - no present required as they already had it on their birthday, or just flowers/wine

I wouldn’t take a second gift. I would buy them a drink on the evening and enjoy spending time with them but the gift has already been sent.

No more gifts. They’ll be more than happy with the one you gave and just happy you’re attending. Buy them a drink perhaps.

Not required, but I'd probably take a bottle of something, just because I usually do. I don't think you'll cause any kind of offense if you don't! I certainly wouldn't expect anything as the host.

No not if you've already sent a gift.

I would take a bottle of something for them, just because I would feel weird showing up without something.

It absolutely wouldn't be expected though.

I would choose a book that they would like as an "on the day" gift, so that I could show up with a nicely wrapped present.

Not necessarily an expensive one - I would look for remaindered books.

Definitely not no, the gift giving is already done.

Thanks everyone, I'll probably just take a bottle of wine then. 😊

I wouldn’t take anything even flowers or wine. You’ve got them present already.

I'd just get them a drink when you are there

Bringing a bottle to a party at at a venue is weird. You only do that at someone's house.

And if you're taking it as a present for later so wrapped or in a gift bag you are then taking them and extra present when you've already done so.

So no, I wouldn't take anything.

No, don't take anything, just buy the birthday boy/girl a drink

Bottle in a bag is perfect

You’ve already sent a present so none needed but i don’t like to turn up empty handed so would at least take a bottle of alcohol or nice box of chocolates

Another who wouldn't take flowers or wine, or anything else.

You've already given them their birthday present.

I would take something small. Flowers will be a PITA at a venue (what are they supposed to do with them?) and a bottle will be coals to Newcastle. They’ll get loads from their guests.

I would probably opt for a box of chocolates or something unusual and interesting from the local farm shop.

Crikey, I’d be mortified if I threw a party and my guests felt the need to compensate me to the tune of the cost per head!

As others have said, you’ve already given the present so a token bottle/flowers/box of chocolates is fine, OP.

Bringing a bottle to a party at at a venue is weird. You only do that at someone's house
I agree with this. If you feel another gift should be given, send some flowers to their home after the event, I feel a thank you card would suffice though.

Flowers or a bottle is just polite and stops the feeling of 'going empty handed' Enjoy yourselves.

I wouldn't take anything or expect anything, you've already given them a present. Maybe offer to buy a drink

Don't turn up with flowers or bottles to a venue, absolute pain getting them home. No gift necessary, enjoy yourselves.