AIBU to feel so miserable at work?

[kayjy]

AIBU to feel so miserable at work? Sorry, I need to ramble about this somewhere.

I started a new job about seven months ago, mid-level, reporting to a department head in a small dept. I was told there was a plan in place to slowly induct me into the many ongoing projects and that they'd likely employ someone else to support me in future. I (with the support of senior management) would be the only person working on the projects.

The department head was pushed out after a few months leaving me scrabbling around trying to get up to speed with everything when the context, processes and functions hadn't been properly handed over. Interim management were not much support as they were not as familiar with the projects. I also had a month or two where I was being shuffled between managers. There was other turnover of key senior staff at the same time.

I then started reporting into other director level staff members who managed a closely related department. They then left too!

Now I'm again reporting into a different senior leader (who is also leaving soon!) while replacements are found but in the meanwhile I feel miserable, stressed and overburdened trying to manage the large load of projects, and trying to ensure nothing too bad slips through the cracks.

Things are not in state I would've expected either, it feels like lots of corners have been cut in the past and now I'm been left to carry the can, worrying about getting everything up to the right standard or what problems I'll unearth and have to resolve if I start digging.

This was always too much for one person and previous senior leaders acknowledged much of the project load has poor rationales behind it i.e. spread way too thin on too many things that don't bring in enough profit to be worth doing, meaning quality can't be maintained on the things that are worth doing. But there is no one yet to lead on resolving that from director level and likely won't be for months. It also wouldn't surprise me if the dept is targeted for redundancy or restructure due to this too in the near future.

I have seen a few redundancies while I have worked here and I do think people were treated pretty poorly, so it's also on my mind how I could work myself into the ground for this company and it wouldn't matter at all.

Since the xmas break I absolutely dread work and I can't get my head back into it. AIBU unreasonable? I feel like I should just be able to get on with doing what I can, but every day now I just want to leave without another job even lined up.

That sounds like a company on the road to failure. Leave asap, but get another job lined up first

They are definitely having issues which they are being pretty transparent about and seem committed to resolving. I'm definitely looking for another job though. I'm just trying to find the energy to keep going in the meanwhile. I think it was having two weeks away at xmas. I just don't want to deal with this place anymore since I got back from the break.

Yeah its a naff company and not going anywhere. A properly resourced and well managed company doesn't hemorrhage staff like this or leave people foundering around not knowing what their job entails.

I would start looking around.

The high turnover of senior staff would concern me. It feels like a barometer for how the company is doing generally.

If you are unhappy, and I can see why you are, you should start seeing what else is out there. The relatively short time in the role can easily be explained with what you told us here.

Remind yourself that you are going into work purely to not damage your cv and to help you in your job search. Even crap situations are bearable if you have a positive reason for bearing them

Focus on preventing the shit hitting the fan in the timescale you’re there, don’t worry about preventing disasters 3 years down the line.

This is the bit I need to remember I think. I'm too bloody conscientious. I feel like these are my problems even though I caused none of them. I just need to focus on what I can do in the short term and if it all goes to hell in a year's time, well hopefully I'll be gone.

whats causeing all the changes in staff ?

It sounds like you should apply for some of these senior positions to get the job title on your CV and then move on.

It sounds like the company is poorly managed, and seems to have a high turn-over of staff, at differing levels. It doesn't bode well. The fact you have been pushed from pillar to post, little to no assistance and management in place don't appear to be knowledgeable either, suggests it's time to look for another job. Could you do some temp work, whilst you are looking for something more permanent, just so you can leave a stressful environment? If you can afford to just leave, and then start looking for a new job, then it's an option. Otherwise, it's a case of sticking it out, until you find a new job. No job is worth running yourself into the ground.

I feel for you OP! But as others have said, hang on in there, do the minimum to keep the lights on with the knowledge that you'll be leaving soon and ramp up job applications. Good luck x